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Oh I can so relate to your post....I've been there, too!! I can't write much right now, but I can tell you that my insecurities in my marriage were so bad that my husband finally told me if I didn't get professional help, he was out of there...he just couldn't do it anymore. I can't blame...

Dude, these aren't the behaviors a girl exhibits with a "friend", these are the behaviors a girl exhibts with a boyfriend, fiance' or husband. Of course you feel jealous and uneasy about this, anyone would!!! Your girlfriend is obviously one of those girls that demands a lot of male attention...

Unfortunately, your friend isn't SUPPOSED to love both you and her husband equally....she's supposed to "leave and cleave" and put her husband above all others.....that includes best friends. Perhaps your friend recognized that the nature of your relationship was not one that would allow her...

I know what you mean by wondering if EVERYONE'S marriage is full of strife because I've thought that same thing before, too. To answer your question though, YES...there are people that have happy marriages!!! The thing to remember is, you are reading a MARRIAGE FORUM, which usually addresses...

Lovebug- After reading your last post it doesn't really sound like you have a typical (or healthy?) connection with your 'best friend'. Have to ask: do you love her, or are you in love with her? I ask because while most people might feel a sense of loss when a best friend marries, they...

That's what happens when a person's life is turned upside down by the person they thought they could trust the most in this world. Just because cjba's husband is chasing after a fantasy right now, and willing to throw away everything he has that is real, doesn't mean her feelings for him, and...

He wants you to stop telling him you love him because every time you do, it goes directly against all of the lies he has been telling himself (and the other woman) about how horrible you are and how loveless your marriage is. When you show him that you're nice, caring and full of love for him...

LOL!!! :D

snowymountain Well, I'm not a man, but I hope I might offer some thoughts for you. My first thought is what Dr. Phil always says, that "the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior". But, I don't think that is always set in stone....people can change their behaviors with a lot of...

cjba- So very sorry to hear about this latest development. Well, finally you have the proof you have needed to confirm that yes, there is another woman (I think you have known, you just didn't have proof until now) and no, you are not crazy or unlovable, as your husband has been trying to...

I certainly wouldn't wait until the next trip to bring this up. If he tells himself that sharing a room with another woman is OK, I can only imagine what else he is doing on a day to day basis concerning other women that he thinks is OK (but probably poses a risk to your marriage). Has he...

My husband takes trips without me and while I don't really love it, I've learned to accept it (sort of) :sigh: . He's the kind of person that really needs and enjoys his "solitary time", so usually about twice a year he will take off by himself for a couple of days (either to go hunting or to...

Your husband's behavior is crazymaking. He's doing something so completely inappropriate, and he knows it, yet he's telling you that YOU'RE the crazy one. He's counting on you to play your part in this as well, which involves several things: 1. believe him 2. doubt yourself and your...

EXCELLENT post, heartnsoul. Cjba- What heartnsoul said is true....your husband has absolutely no consequences right now so why in the world would he choose to do anything different? He gets to behave like a single guy all he wants but also has the comforts of coming home whenever he so...

cjba- so sorry to hear you had a rough weekend. Does your H go out a lot now? Is this the first time he has stayed out all night? Did he even offer an explanation why he didn't bother coming home? Who's the co-worker he was with? I think your H is what they call a "fence sitter", meaning he is...

Well, first let's get one thing straight.....the lack of intimacy in your marriage did not CAUSE you to have sex with another woman....perhaps it made you more vulnerable to temptation but that choice was all you, Macbeth. I don't think we ever really accept forgiveness and learn from our...

freedom- I think you've really done a great job in handling this in a mature, rational way that has let your boyfriend know exactly where you stand on this and what you require in a relationship. Based on your BF's reaction to both your letter and your feelings about this, I think you're...

You can also find some good info. and clinical facts on Shirley Glass's website. She has found that over 80% of affairs get started with people considered "just a friend".

How about Proverbs 4:23- Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. or 1 Peter 5:8- Your adversary the devil walks around like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour

Freedom, trust your feelings!!! You are absolutely right to be having reservations about your boyfriend and his "friend's" relationship with each other. It does sound like this girl was maybe trying to stake her claim on her friendship with your boyfriend, or at least trying to let you know...