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The theme song from "M*A*S*H".

"I was walking down the street one day, wearing my eyeglasses, and my prescription ran out." Steven Wright

So if I set this water gun to "vaporize" and aim it like this...... Uh......

Or the morning anchor person.....

Geez, if this keeps up I'm gonna have to squirrel away a stash of powdered donuts, 'cause they're gonna quit selling them again!!

"Where Do I Go" by Ashley Cleveland and Gary Chapman.

Are they sure it's not counterfeit?

I couldn't post because I couldn't get on the site until late this evening!!!!!   :cry:

 :eek: :o :scratch: :help:

Slowly, ever so slowly......

Origami donuts -- what's next, origami coffee?

Better hurry. The server's gonna go down soon!

I'll probably be asleep when #1000 comes around.  Any prizes for 1001?

Suppose someone knocks on your door.  You open it, and two men come in.  One man points to the other and says, "This is Pierre.  He's from France.  He is going to live here with you.  He doesn't know any English; he only speaks French.  Now, you are required to...

Hmmm....If Islamic terrorists are Saddam's enemies, and the US is Saddam's enemy, and the terrorists are the US's enemies, and Saddam is the US's enemy, which one is the friend? That makes us all friends!!  Why can't we all just get along?  ;)

More from the Washington Times: http://www.washtimes.com/op-ed/20030417-25215224.htm Aiding freedom's enemies   Rich Noyes      See if any of this sounds familiar: An oppressive dictator who's an international pariah; a totalitarian regime with an abysmal...

If it weren't so blatantly damage-control, it would be ironic and funny.  There are no infidels at CNN!!  Never!

Yeah!  You know the greeters at the door?  They're actually mind control experts who are able to twist your thinking around to where you have the desire to spend every last penny in your bank account on cheap Chinese junk and then thank them for letting you do it. You got Mr...

No..... All I got was this stupid belt with this water gun..... Oops....What does "stun" mean?

I think I'll sue WalMart for conspiring to take away the funds I need to sustain the lifestyle to which I'm accustomed. My wife would have to be a co-defendent, though. Not good.