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    Sexual Abuse

    Unfortunately leaders in the church can be predators who intentionally place themselves in a position so they have the opportunity to abuse. I grew up in churches my entire life and saw it time after time, even rings of pedophiles operating in churches. I think its important to separate them...
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    Why is it so hard to forgive myself?

    I totally agree with what Theresa said. I also have come to realize that it is not so much about "forgiving ourselves" but about learning to accept Christ's forgiveness, love and grace. It is hard for us to wrap our minds around as humans because we can not demonstrate the same love and grace...
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    God's Timing

    After much prayer and thought I have decided not to begin a relationship with the man I have been talking to. I feel very at peace about this decision but it is not easy and I think will only get more difficult. I want to remain friends (which really means taking a step backwards) but it will...
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    breaking free

    So I spent a good 2 hours in Bible study yesterday...it was amazing. I am just blown away by how much I am learning and beginning to see. I feel as though God has opened my eyes to this knowledge which seems common sense, like I should have known it all along. But it is such a freedom to...
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    How do I know if I was molested? *trigger*

    I have had no luck finding counselors or anyone for free. I looked at some info for a huge church near me but they charge $150/hr. I can't afford to really pay anything right now. I am hoping to start meeting with a woman in my church soon as a mentor but I want to also get counseling...
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    where to draw the line

    I hope I can make sense with everything I am thinking right now. I'm so excited because I just have begun to understand something over the past 24 hours. Maybe you will think well duh, who didn't know that. It is new to me though! I was very down yesterday, extremely depressed and in that...
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    How do I know if I was molested? *trigger*

    I had another trigger a few days ago, out to eat with some friends and went to the bathroom alone. I haven't been dwelling on any of this stuff lately, pretty much had completely put it all out of my mind the past several weeks. I was alone in the bathroom and started panicking. I was washing...
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    What Not To Say To Survivors Of Abuse

    "You just hold onto things too much, just get over it." (my sister who was treated completely differently than I growing up.) In a serious relationship with a guy (who wanted to marry me), after telling him I had been raped at the age of 16... "The first thing you have to realize is it was...
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    a parent who is not one

    Does anyone have one parent or the other who just does not act like it? As in, emotionally distant, uninvolved, unloving, uncaring, abusive, ect? It is my mom for me. This is something I have begun to realize more and more the past 6 months. I used to think it was normal until I went to...
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    struggles

    Lately I have allowed myself to sink so deep in depression and non feeling. Sometimes I think I pull my problems around me like a security blanket and use them to isolate myself, to hide. I have always wanted to be invisible. It almost feels safer that way, to surround myself with fear and...
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    A new beginning.

    I have never blogged before but I want to start. I want to talk mainly about my relationship with God as I grow and hopefully begin to deal with some issues I have. I have already posted on the forums a little bit so look there for my story. I don't like to be defined by the things that have...
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    's Blog

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    I don't know that I can trust again...

    A song I just found very encouraging....Fireflight--Wrapped in Your Arms.
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    I don't know that I can trust again...

    Trust is something I find that I tend to give to the wrong people and withhold from the right ones. Its ridiculous really but its just my natural impulse. Tonight I was thinking that I usually put guys in one of two categories. When i see a guy staring at me (or several guys) I first think...
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    I don't know that I can trust again...

    Predators are experts at manipulating emotions and trust, it is their goal in life! How do you think parents get to feel comfortable with having their kids around these people? They are EXPERTS at manipulation, very smooth and have an answer for everything. They can read people well and...
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    allowing myself to feel

    Sorry to start another new thread but this is about emotions. I been drinking a little bit but hopefully can get this out. Dont; you ever feel so alone? I live with 9 other people how can I feel alone? because no one cares. Duh. So at night I curl up as tiny as I can in bed and try to...
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    Telling family.

    I would be careful about telling your family if you think they may react with denial as this will only make things harder for you. I've struggled with the same issue myself and I have kind of left it open that some day I might tell them but I don't want to face denial. I think it only does...
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    How do I know if I was molested? *trigger*

    i really have no one i can talk to at this point. i cant talk to my pastor or his wife. im hoping to find someone soon. alot of people dont want to know and dont want to help. they know im struggling but dont care
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    not sure what to think

    White Dove, In reference to what you said about forgiveness...my father often felt bad after losing his temper and would come apoligize to me afterwards. My mother never did once. I respect my father a lot for that and I have no trouble forgiving him. Also in regards to this becoming a...
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    How do I know if I was molested? *trigger*

    Thank you for your response. I do have a lot of fear. I'm not sure why, where it comes from. I am positive I have never seen what I see in these dreams though in person. Some of them have been very bloody and gory. I dont have these often but when I do I'm often awake for hours too...