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  1. B

    Have you heard...?

    Q: Why are movie stars so cool? A: Because they have so many fans.
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    Did you hear about the new "divorced" Barbie doll that they are selling in stores now? It comes with all of Ken's stuff.
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    A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown, and say: "That's not it." and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that...
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    Bible Confusion Kaylee, a little girl, was sitting with her grandmother, who had presented her with her first little children's Bible, in an easy-to-read translation, when she was very young. Now, a decade or so later, the elderly lady was ready to spend a few sweet moments handing down the...
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    My Dad's Better Than Your Dad Three boys on the playground were bragging about their fathers. One said, "My dad scribbles a few words, calls it a song, and they pay him 50 bucks ($50)." "Oh, yeah?" the second boy responded. "My dad scribbles a few words, calls it a poem, and they pay him 100...
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    Q: What do they call preachers/ministers/evangelists in Germany? A: German shepherds.
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    Nietzche A poster read: "God is dead!" - Nietzsche. The graffiti underneath it read: "Nietzsche is dead!" - God.
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    Q: Which came first, the chicken or the egg? A: Only God knows the eggs-act (exact) answer.
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    Notes From God 1. Let's meet at My House Sunday before the game. - God 2. Come on over and bring the kids. - God 3. What part of "Thou shalt not..." didn't you understand? - God 4. We need to talk. - God 5. Keep using My Name in vain and I'll make rush hour longer! - God 6. Loved the...
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    Church Signs #5 1. How will you spend eternity -- Smoking or Non-smoking? 2. Dusty Bibles lead to dirty lives. 3. It is unlikely there will be a reduction in the wages of sin. 4. Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church. 5. If you don't like the way you were born, try being...
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    Church Signs #4 1. Satan subtracts and divides. God multiplies and multiplies. 2. If you do not want to reap the fruits of sin, stay out of the Devil's orchard. 3. May is God's apology for February. 4. To belittle is to be little. 5. A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on...
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    Church Signs #3 1. A man's character is like a fence, It cannot be strengthened by whitewash. 2. K-mart is not the only saving place! 3. Preach the Gospel at all times. Use words if necessary 4. Delay is preferable to error. 5. Prevent truth decay. Brush up on your Bible. 6. It's...
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    CHURCH SIGNS #2 1. The best vitamin for a Christian is B1. 2. Under same management for over 2,000 years. 3. Try Jesus. If you don't like Him, the devil will always take you back. 4. Soul food served here. 5. You can give without loving but you cannot love without giving. 6. Never give the...
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    CHURCH SIGNS 1. Free trip to Heaven. Details inside! 2. Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins. 3. Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here! 4. An ad for a church has a picture of two hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a...
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    SHOW AND TELL A kindergarten teacher gave her class a "show and tell" assignment of bring something to represent their religion. The first boy went in front of the class and said, "My name is Benjamin and I am Jewish and this is the Star of David." Second, the first girl went in front of...
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    One day in a city in the Midwest (U.S.), a young child was "acting up" during the morning worship service. The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle. Finally, the father picked up his boisterous little son and walked sternly up the...
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    Q: Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy? A: The area around the Jordan. The banks were always overflowing.
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    What Does The Bible Plainly And Really Say About This/That?

    There is NO rapture. Jesus is not coming back silently and in secret.
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    Alpha: "Knock! Knock!" Beta: "Who's there?" Alpha: "Gary." Beta: "Gary who?" Alpha: (singing) "Gary on, my wayward son..."
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    Ace: "Knock! Knock!" Deuce: "Who is it?" Ace: "Kojak." Deuce: "Kojak who?" Ace: "Kojak up the car, baby. I've got a flat."