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Struggling with purpose and self worth

gdub81

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Hello. I was just hoping for some positive words of encouragement or scripture... or biblical advice... anything really. I actually don't know what I'm hoping for. I have been struggling with depression, and I feel like it's getting worse and worse.

I'm 34, single, no kids. I've never had a "good" job. I am educated (graduated with a BS in 2004), but I still never seem to get a job that pays well. I am always struggling financially, even though I don't have many expenses.

I do have a roof over my head. I have two dogs that I love dearly. I can buy food most of the time. I spend so much time in prayer. I am obedient (unless unintentional). I spend a lot of the time reading. I know that I am kind and generous and loving. At the same time, I feel so ... hopeless. I just feel like... I have nothing else in store for me... I'm at a point of desperation, and I don't know what to do. :(

I question if God ever wants me to have a family. If he ever wants me to live somewhat comfortably financially. If certain health aspects will always be a struggle.

Thank you for listening to my hopeless rants.
 

Tempura

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In today's world, this is a very common thing. People struggling to find meaning to their lives, and even getting by is hard. Many things are automatic, and jobs aren't what they used to be - many of them meaningless routines without any kind of satisfaction or meaning.

Many are alone, too. Funny, how plenty of men and women are sitting by themselves, thinking if they will ever meet anyone. They could be neighbors, even! People feel so out of touch from humanity, that many become shut-ins. There aren't many real communities anymore. Plenty of useless junk, greed, selfishness and superficiality though. It's like society, media and the general culture wants the worst out of people, so it's easy to just quit on certain things. And if one finds someone and even gets married and starts up a family, it's very likely to end up on a divorce. And if you're a man, odds are against you in many countries, and you have little control over what happens then. Very discouraging, all of it, and this generation is really feeling it.

I'm almost 40, on a disability pension, no family, living alone in a small apartment. I can't complain, but I know I'm missing much.

Anyway, there is always hope in Christ, and we can't really know what will happen. We can't know what people we will meet and when, and we can be active ourselves too, in whatever things we enjoy doing or feel drawn towards. Sometimes we have chances of helping others, to take our minds out of ourselves, and we can find something new that way, too. We never know.

I'll put some of my favorite Bible quotes here, usually concerning people who might feel like they don't have much, or feel low for whatever reasons.

--------------

“Blessed are you who are poor,
for yours is the kingdom of God.
Blessed are you who hunger now,
for you will be satisfied.
Blessed are you who weep now,
for you will laugh."

I like how Christ always cared for the miserable. He always told the people how the world is what it is, and how it is very hard to find happiness in it. But in saying these things, He also gave us hope.

----------

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

This often comforts me. His peace certainly is different, and His promises are better than the world's.

----------

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life"?

“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

...and...

“The student is not above the teacher, nor a servant above his master. It is enough for students to be like their teachers, and servants like their masters. If the head of the house has been called Beelzebul, how much more the members of his household!

“So do not be afraid of them, for there is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs. Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care." And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows."

God doesn't want us to worry. It's hard for many of us to not worry, but in the end, it is useless. There is comfort in that. There is also comfort in knowing that Christ suffered first, and we cannot be better than Him, or even demand better life than Him. None of us, no matter if christian or not, can know where our lives will lead in the end. In this part of the Bible, He was talking to his disciples about upcoming persecution, but there is a lesson in it concerning life in general. Many of us will lead a cozier life than Christ did, but in the end it is enough to have faith in Christ. No matter how miserable situations may come, Christ suffered it all first. I don't take this as a condemnation, but as comfort. We can have nothing, and still have it all in the end.
----------

You have plenty of hope, even if you couldn't feel that hope. Said a prayer for you, hoping for comfort and guidance to come your way. I hope you don't worry too much, and take each day at a time, and that you can enjoy life for what it is, and find peace for your soul and good people to be with. And if you want monetary help (and have a paypal account, it's quick to make one if you don't), you can PM me and we'll work something out. I've been helped a lot, and I should do the same for others. Christ told us to give to one another, it would not be an inconvenience for me. God bless.

Oh, and welcome.
 
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Far Side Of the Moon

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In today's world, this is a very common thing. People struggling to find meaning to their lives, and even getting by is hard. Many things are automatic, and jobs aren't what they used to be - many of them meaningless routines without any kind of satisfaction or meaning.

Many are alone, too. Funny, how plenty of men and women are sitting by themselves, thinking if they will ever meet anyone. They could be neighbors, even! People feel so out of touch from humanity, that many become shut-ins. There aren't many real communities anymore. Plenty of useless junk, greed, selfishness and superficiality though. It's like society, media and the general culture wants the worst out of people, so it's easy to just quit on certain things. And if one finds someone and even gets married and starts up a family, it's very likely to end up on a divorce. And if you're a man, odds are against you in many countries, and you have little control over what happens then. Very discouraging, all of it, and this generation is really feeling it.

I'm almost 40, on a disability pension, no family, living alone in a small apartment. I can't complain, but I know I'm missing much.

Anyway, there is always hope in Christ, and we can't really know what will happen. We can't know what people we will meet and when, and we can be active ourselves too, in whatever things we enjoy doing or feel drawn towards. Sometimes we have chances of helping others, to take our minds out of ourselves, and we can find something new that way, too. We never know.

I'll put some of my favorite Bible quotes here, usually concerning people who might feel like they don't have much, or feel low for whatever reasons.

--------------

“Blessed are you who are poor,
for yours is the kingdom of God.
Blessed are you who hunger now,
for you will be satisfied.
Blessed are you who weep now,
for you will laugh."

I like how Christ always cared for the miserable. He always told the people how the world is what it is, and how it is very hard to find happiness in it. But in saying these things, He also gave us hope.

----------

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

This often comforts me. His peace certainly is different, and His promises are better than the world's.

----------

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life"?

“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

...and...

“The student is not above the teacher, nor a servant above his master. It is enough for students to be like their teachers, and servants like their masters. If the head of the house has been called Beelzebul, how much more the members of his household!

“So do not be afraid of them, for there is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs. Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care." And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows."

God doesn't want us to worry. It's hard for many of us to not worry, but in the end, it is useless. There is comfort in that. There is also comfort in knowing that Christ suffered first, and we cannot be better than Him, or even demand better life than Him. None of us, no matter if christian or not, can know where our lives will lead in the end. In this part of the Bible, He was talking to his disciples about upcoming persecution, but there is a lesson in it concerning life in general. Many of us will lead a cozier life than Christ did, but in the end it is enough to have faith in Christ. No matter how miserable situations may come, Christ suffered it all first. I don't take this as a condemnation, but as comfort. We can have nothing, and still have it all in the end.
----------

You have plenty of hope, even if you couldn't feel that hope. Said a prayer for you, hoping for comfort and guidance to come your way. I hope you don't worry too much, and take each day at a time, and that you can enjoy life for what it is, and find peace for your soul and good people to be with. And if you want monetary help (and have a paypal account, it's quick to make one if you don't), you can PM me and we'll work something out. I've been helped a lot, and I should do the same for others. Christ told us to give to one another, it would not be an inconvenience for me. God bless.

Oh, and welcome.
You really are very sweet...to go so far as help someone financially..... You even offered your help to me as well...

For me, its just my situation I need space from...if I had a friend who's house I could stay at for a week..itd help so very much.

But thanks for your kindness anyway tempura.
 
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newlightseven

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Hello. I was just hoping for some positive words of encouragement or scripture... or biblical advice... anything really. I actually don't know what I'm hoping for. I have been struggling with depression, and I feel like it's getting worse and worse.

I'm 34, single, no kids. I've never had a "good" job. I am educated (graduated with a BS in 2004), but I still never seem to get a job that pays well. I am always struggling financially, even though I don't have many expenses.

I do have a roof over my head. I have two dogs that I love dearly. I can buy food most of the time. I spend so much time in prayer. I am obedient (unless unintentional). I spend a lot of the time reading. I know that I am kind and generous and loving. At the same time, I feel so ... hopeless. I just feel like... I have nothing else in store for me... I'm at a point of desperation, and I don't know what to do. :(

I question if God ever wants me to have a family. If he ever wants me to live somewhat comfortably financially. If certain health aspects will always be a struggle.

Thank you for listening to my hopeless rants.

I'm not sure if you are apart of a local church or not, but I would encourage you to become apart of one. Also maybe joining a bible study group would help you meet new people. I will be 32 this year and single myself with no kids, so I know how you feel. I found that the meaning of life is really to give glory to God in all that you do. I think by praying you are on the right track
 
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expos4ever

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We human beings are indeed very strange. I do not struggle with the problem that you struggle with, but I am aware that sometimes my response to a particular situation is deeply irrational. Simple example: I buy a product (GPS in this case) that does not work and I feel extremely put upon - as if some great injustice has been visited upon me.

In this specific case, a cool appraisal of things reveals that the thinking that underlies my response is that there is some nasty person at the GPS company that is intentionally out to try to rip me off. And that is, of course, absurd.

I am not suggesting you are irrational; I simply want to point out that I believe it is exceedingly helpful for all of us to recognize that there can be a sharp disconnect between our thoughts about something and the thoughts that a purely "rational" agent would have. Now, I would like to believe that we all have the capacity to examine our own thinking and realize that it is defective, just as my thinking about the GPS was. Perhaps this is not the case for some people, but I hope all of us can do this. Once we recognize our faulty thinking, I believe it is deeply empowering and liberating to simply choose to discard that series of thoughts and instead adopt the rational thoughts.

Now let's focus on what we as Christians believe, or at least try to believe. We believe that a God exists who loves us and the rest of creation and is engaged in a program of redemption and restoration. We know (e.g. Romans 8 around verse 20), however, that this is a slow process. So we believe that death has been defeated and that, in the end at least, "all things work together for our good".

To me, the good news is that there is therefore a ways to "re-frame" our circumstances in terms of this highly optimistic narrative of redemption and restoration. So the "good thoughts" are out there to grasp.

The challenge, of course, is that it seems to take a tremendous amount of willpower and effort to take hold of such thoughts and live by them. I think that is why Paul places such great emphasis on the need for believers to be part of a community.

By the way, I am 57 and have no children. Who knows what my life would have been if I had children, but I feel quite happy in my circumstances.
 
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gdub81

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In today's world, this is a very common thing. People struggling to find meaning to their lives, and even getting by is hard. Many things are automatic, and jobs aren't what they used to be - many of them meaningless routines without any kind of satisfaction or meaning.
...
Thank you for sharing your insight and wisdom. It really helped put me at ease. :) Also, thank you so very much for your generous PayPal offer. Just the offer to help a stranger... thank you so very much. The gesture is greatly appreciated. :)

I'm not sure if you are apart of a local church or not, but I would encourage you to become apart of one. Also maybe joining a bible study group would help you meet new people. I will be 32 this year and single myself with no kids, so I know how you feel. I found that the meaning of life is really to give glory to God in all that you do. I think by praying you are on the right track

I am. I love my church. I love my small group. I am not able to participate in the Bible study group right now since I have a very full schedule. I have a wonderful handful of Godly friends that are near and dear to me, and I am so grateful for being able to share our spiritual walks with each other. I work in ministry, and I get to love on and pour into people daily. As I type all that out, it does seem a bit ridiculous, but I do still very much struggle. :-/ I am feeling much better today, though. I had a great night at church. :)

Now let's focus on what we as Christians believe, or at least try to believe. We believe that a God exists who loves us and the rest of creation and is engaged in a program of redemption and restoration. We know (e.g. Romans 8 around verse 20), however, that this is a slow process. So we believe that death has been defeated and that, in the end at least, "all things work together for our good".

To me, the good news is that there is therefore a ways to "re-frame" our circumstances in terms of this highly optimistic narrative of redemption and restoration. So the "good thoughts" are out there to grasp.

The challenge, of course, is that it seems to take a tremendous amount of willpower and effort to take hold of such thoughts and live by them. I think that is why Paul places such great emphasis on the need for believers to be part of a community.

By the way, I am 57 and have no children. Who knows what my life would have been if I had children, but I feel quite happy in my circumstances.

I'm a very positive person in general, and I don't want to seem ungrateful for what I do have. I think that probably is not apparent through the lens of the interwebz. LOL! Maybe its an entitlement issue. I've wanted a family for so long, ever since I was a little girl, even with Jesus in my heart, my flesh can still feel lonely... if that makes sense. I think my "stuck" financial situation just compounds the issue in my mind. I can't help but feel like maybe I am doing something wrong. I know that these things aren't in my control, and I trust God's timing, but I still feel that emotional conflict with it at times.

I know. I've contradicted myself a billion times in this post. Welcome to my brain. LOL
 
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FlaviusAetius

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I'm nearly 25 going down this same path. Never had a girlfriend, hell to be honest I don't think I've had a real friend ever in my life save for maybe a neighbor girl I knew in middle school.

I hate people, I hate life and God for quietly watching me suffer. If family didn't tolerate my mood or love me I'd probably have already killed myself.

Hatred and emptiness are my two settings with plenty of false emotions in between.

There is no hope for any of us is there? It's either kill, kill yourself or rot in bed until you die. Nothing will ever improve will it, just more suffering and finished off with a trip to Hell.
 
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W2L

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Thoughts about our own self worth is definitely something that triggers depression. (Im not a doctor)

This is what i have come to learn from scripture. Despite what some people may say, spiritual prosperity is not about financial prosperity, and its also not always about happiness either. Many Godless men are prosperous and many Godly men are not. The apostles were all spiritually rich but financially poor. James said that the poor are blessed and are rich in faith, although not in finances. Although happiness and joy are a fruit of the spirit, Christ and His apostles all endured much sorrow and grief as well. It can be a blessing for those who sincerely seek God with all their heart, because when the heart is in need of love, mercy and compassion, then it seeks refuge in God, and that's when the blessing is seen. The apostle paul said that when he was weak he was strong. His weakness was seen in necessities, hardships and all manner of distress. I dont believe he was ever free from those things, but he reaped times of great joy as well.

David knew God was his refuge, and David also suffered from many trials and tribulations. The book of acts says that we enter into the kingdom through many trials and tribulations. Please, dont feel like your value depends on worldly success. Matter of fact. those who have an abundance of wealth will one day be judged by it. God will tell them that they lived in luxury while their brethren suffered. That, in my humble opinion, is not faith. James says the poor are rich in faith, and he never once said that the rich are rich in faith. He instead said that their wealth is fattening them for the day of slaughter.
 
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romrulida

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I personally believe that everyone of us has a specific purpose from God and along with that is the potential that we need to unleash in order to fulfill our mission.

Becoming a believer doesn't automatically translate you to a person with clear purpose. Most Christians I know has still a fuzzy to no idea of what their purpose in life is. They just go through the motions. Going to work and getting paid. Handling small groups and attending service. Giving effort in ministry.

Is that all there is?

I believe not. God will not waste our lives, our skills, our talents just to go through the motions. We have a specific mission to fulfill and unless we are doing that, we will always feel that there is something missing.

#mytwocents
 
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Justin1234

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Hello. I was just hoping for some positive words of encouragement or scripture... or biblical advice... anything really. I actually don't know what I'm hoping for. I have been struggling with depression, and I feel like it's getting worse and worse.

I'm 34, single, no kids. I've never had a "good" job. I am educated (graduated with a BS in 2004), but I still never seem to get a job that pays well. I am always struggling financially, even though I don't have many expenses.

I do have a roof over my head. I have two dogs that I love dearly. I can buy food most of the time. I spend so much time in prayer. I am obedient (unless unintentional). I spend a lot of the time reading. I know that I am kind and generous and loving. At the same time, I feel so ... hopeless. I just feel like... I have nothing else in store for me... I'm at a point of desperation, and I don't know what to do. :(

I question if God ever wants me to have a family. If he ever wants me to live somewhat comfortably financially. If certain health aspects will always be a struggle.

Thank you for listening to my hopeless rants.


First, God loves you. You are not alone. I am sorry that you are hurting so very badly. I can relate with the family issue. I have been alone a while now and I don't have much family. I see people in my church with full families and it hurts. I just want you to know that you are not alone. Sometimes life can be really painful, but that does not mean God doesn't love you. I can understand how that doesn't really fix the pain or do much in the way of convincing. Believe me I have struggled with this idea for years, but I know that God loves me and I hope you can believe that too. Without that all that is left is hopelessness and despair. All the loves in the world
 
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