What makes one a loser?

Building confidence in yourself can take a long time. It won't happen over night. I used to have a lot of self doubt and a low self esteem. My parents neglected me for most of my childhood. They scarcely attended my sporting events and never tried to get involved in my hobbies until it was too late and I resented them. I was shy and moved around a lot. So I didn't have very many friends let alone a girlfriend. For most of my life I never had positive reinforcement.

What helped me was mastering a real world skill that other people can notice. In my case this skill was my job.

I don't do the bare minimum to get by.
I don't try to pass the buck to other people.
If I see a reoccurring problem I solve it instead of letting it continue to happen.
If something doesn't make sense, I ask why are we doing this thing that doesn't make sense.
I try to be proactive instead of reactive.

I put in an effort, take on as much responsibility as I can, and I try to minimize mistakes while working efficiently.

A higher position job opened up in the city I work for. People encouraged me to apply for it. When the day came for the interview I was dressed in a suit. Everyone complimented me and told me I looked nice. I had a couple of the managers pull me aside and give me pep talks telling me I was a good worker and they wanted me to get the job. And they were telling their bosses that they need to hire me for that position. That totally blew my mind. No one has ever been that encouraging to me, not even my parents. Or maybe they have but I saw their complements as empty.

These people who I barely know were rooting for me and petitioning bosses to hire me. That experience changed my mindset. I never thought highly of myself, I never thought much about myself at all. After that day I realized I bring value to my job, I am worth something, and people like working with me.

Unfortunately I didn't pass the interview. But they didn't hire anyone for the position. I think they might be still holding it for me. But the cynical part of me thinks that they're keeping me in this limbo because I am an underpaid workhorse. And the position I applied for is held by a guy who is also a workhorse. My department heads don't want to lose this good thing they got going. But that's another discussion.

This past week I completed an interview for a job at a different city. I passed the first round of interviews. That was a big first for me, the 5 other times i've applied for jobs I didn't get past the first round of interviews. With this interview I also had to read a plan and answer questions about it. The questions were insanely easy, they were entry level. I've been reading plans/blueprints for the past 3 years. I had 10 minutes to finish the test and I did it in two minutes. That boosted my confidence. I realized I reached a point where I am almost over qualified for the entry level positions in my field.

Today I had the second round of interviews with the director. All previous interviews I've had I was nervous, I was sweaty, and I was in my head. This time I was very calm, not jittery, and I wasn't sweaty. I prayed beforehand, so that probably helped with my temperament, but realizing I am qualified for a job also helped. I even had to wait 15 extra minutes for the interview and the time flied. Looking back at the second interview, I think I hit most of the points I wanted and had a little bit of charm during it. I could have done better, but I can't worry about that now. I'll hear back next week. I am going to use this experience for the next one. It's made me hungrier.

The other thing I would recommend is sperm retention, aka nofap, aka stop masturbating. There is a lot of information out there about the benefits of nofap (google nofap, and your brain on inappropriate content is another good resource), a lot of it is anecdotal, but i've experienced the benefits. Even if you don't believe masturbating is a sin, you should still try nofap to boost your confidence. You will feel better about yourself, you won't feel awkward looking people in the eye, you will be more interested in social interaction, you will feel more emotions, you will be less numb to the world. I felt more confident during the interviews where I abstained from 7+ days as opposed to 1 day. I am also more assertive and social when I have long streaks.

You will be less of a loser by:

1) Mastering your job or some social hobby.
2) Have long periods to where you're not masturbating to inappropriate content.

What makes a loser is someone who gives up on doing what they enjoy doing.
Long as you never quit as per how many battles you lose you'll eventually "Win."
But what is winning?

If you allow societies standards to determine who you are then you've already lost one battle.
Winning for me is finding God and waking people up to all the corruption and lies and deception of
Satan's minions.

Remember that God loves everyone, and that there is no favoritism with Him. I do not approve of how you look at yourself, I suggest you get a better self image. It really is wrong for people to be calling you a loser anyway, remember that Jesus wants our speech to be uplifting and edifying towards one another, and that cuts out all insults or negative things. I certainly don't look down on you, I have respect for a lot of people. And because of that, you really have no excuse to go beating yourself up. No one is a loser as far as I'm concerned.

WarriorofYahweh said:

What makes a loser is someone who gives up on doing what they enjoy doing.
Long as you never quit as per how many battles you lose you'll eventually "Win."
But what is winning?

If you allow societies standards to determine who you are then you've already lost one battle.
Winning for me is finding God and waking people up to all the corruption and lies and deception of
Satan's minions.

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I always think of people who are losers as those who lose to devils and get taken over by evil spirits. I see it as you could make yourself a loser, if you don't think of yourself as winning doing what God teaches us to do. If someone calls you a loser, you may be thinking about that hell all night if you yourself aren't confident in the great work God made in you. Don't let others make what you think about yourself, they don't know what runs in your head all day.

The problem is discerning that which God teaches us to do and that which is of the world I find.

WarriorofYahweh said:

The problem is discerning that which God teaches us to do and that which is of the world I find.

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Yeah, the world could make you a loser and regret your past once you wake up.

IMO Bad attitude and outlook .. Try to keep a bright outlook and thankful for the smallest of things . Keep a vision alive that includes God Proverbs 29:18 , trouble and trials will refine you if you keep patient .

4x4toy said:

IMO Bad attitude and outlook .. Try to keep a bright outlook and thankful for the smallest of things . Keep a vision alive that includes God Proverbs 29:18 , trouble and trials will refine you if you keep patient .

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Yeah, I think we're rewarded with protection and guard when we pass trials.

After war and realization that you've lost brothers and shed blood for corrupted corporations It aint all sunshine and rainbows.
It's a very bitter betrayal one has to work through. I am a realist. Not some feel good all the time individual.
Those types normally can't handle the truth I find. The first to call you a "downer" for seeing it for what it is.
Which is discernment.

WarriorofYahweh said:

The first to call you a "downer" for seeing it for what it is.
Which is discernment.

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The way I see it is it's projected and the person knows it. I'm not bout trying to make my brother feel fear.

loser is a subjective work

Loser is an incorrect and improper to use to define anyone imo.

It's a word rooted in superiority, and makes whoever uses it look like a complete jerk.

It is just my opinion but giving into what other people say that you should do instead of doing what God wants you to do.

Rasnosauj said:

The way I see it is it's projected and the person knows it. I'm not bout trying to make my brother feel fear.

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I don't follow.

Taking by what you wrote, I can safely say that you are not a loser, no one is. We, as humans tend to look down on ourselves, always comparing with others, we sabotage ourselves.
The people around you are right when they think highly of you, because based on what you wrote, you are a person who takes care of himself, you don't need no one to play for your rent/living cost. You are still young, and have alot of years in front of you, time in which God will bless you, if you remain faithfull to Him.

Does it really matter what the Lord says? No of course not. hugs. You're not a loser and you never will be, in fact in Gods eyes you're winner!! You're the apple of His eyes!

Before I was married I was 22 ish with no job, no license, and I felt down and out until I found someone strong in the Lord whom I married at 23. You will find the right one it takes time, don't lose hope.

A loser is someone who doesn't go after what they want. A loser will not do anything with what they have learned. In other words, they do not take their own advice.

If you figured out how to be a better friend and yet you still have not taken action to make that relationship stronger, then it may be because you are a loser.

A loser:
Doesn't go after what he or she wants
Does nothing with what he or she has learned
Allows negative self-talk to influence his or her actions
Doesn't try

If this sounds like you, it may be a phase you are going through - or perhaps you truly do need to make a change.

And personally, I hope that you do not become a Winner like Donald Trump is a Winner. Too much ego.