Staying the night at my boyfriends house

Christiangirl1991 said:

I know there have probably been many forums on this topic but I'm going to ask anyway. My boyfriend and I are in our twenties and have been together a year. Our faith is exremely important to us and we are waiting til marriage for any type of sexual relationship. My air conditioning broke the other night and it was 92 degrees in my home. It was too hot for me to sleep there so I crashed on his couch downstairs. He has a roommate who lives in the downstairs bedroom and he stays upstairs. All I did was sleep and I never saw him the whole night too he came downstairs fully dressed and so was I. Nothing happened. I left for work and that was it. Nothing like that has happened before. I just didn't want to stay in my home when it was so hot. However, my mother says that's wrong. I think that's just one opinion but she says its wrong no matter the circumstance. Can anyone else shed some light on this? Thank you!

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PS: Replied on the other thread; just to add that I think you mentioned a while ago that your parents thought your BF lied about something to them; and although you yourself might reckon this matter which you mention is entirely separate from the matter of his perceived lie to them, they themselves might consider them together in terms of whether they entirely trust him. So the matter of rebuilding trust is very important, I guess.

I personally don't see anything wrong with it ... After all Jesus hung out at Mary and Martha's house and they were single women apparently.

Christiangirl1991 said:

I know there have probably been many forums on this topic but I'm going to ask anyway. My boyfriend and I are in our twenties and have been together a year. Our faith is exremely important to us and we are waiting til marriage for any type of sexual relationship. My air conditioning broke the other night and it was 92 degrees in my home. It was too hot for me to sleep there so I crashed on his couch downstairs. He has a roommate who lives in the downstairs bedroom and he stays upstairs. All I did was sleep and I never saw him the whole night too he came downstairs fully dressed and so was I. Nothing happened. I left for work and that was it. Nothing like that has happened before. I just didn't want to stay in my home when it was so hot. However, my mother says that's wrong. I think that's just one opinion but she says its wrong no matter the circumstance. Can anyone else shed some light on this? Thank you!

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How do you feel about it?

dayhiker said:

I personally don't see anything wrong with it ... After all Jesus hung out at Mary and Martha's house and they were single women apparently.

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Yeah - but Lazarus their brother was usually there.

true .. yet there appears to be no parents around. I once read a commentator says they were probably teens. But I couldn't find anything to indicate their age when I looked.

I would have two concerns, both of which you may feel are addressed:

1) If you decide things went well when you felt you needed to stay at his place and therefore you can do it more often just because you wish to or it is convenient, then you risk having something happen that you'll regret later. I understand staying pure until marriage is important to you. I also understand one of the best ways to assure that happens is to avoid potential risky situations. You are both human, after all.

2) Is there friends and perhaps even someone less mature in faith who know your desire for purity? If so, then appearances matter. If it is just a rare thing like in this case, that is easy to explain and really the roommate is able to testify you two did not share a bedroom. If you decide you can do this more frequently, then the appearance begins to cast doubt on what you are saying - regardless of reality.

So no, I don't think you did anything wrong in this case based on what you shared in the post. I do understand why some would caution against it for reasons I gave above.