Struggling with a Disorder

Rachel121

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I feel like Crown's song "Who am I?". God is amazing and I need to put my trust in him but I am have not been doing that. Instead recently, I have been on this kick where I let my anxiety consume me. I tell myself I can do this on my own, but I can't and really "I am a flower quickly fading, Here today and gone tomorrow". To be more specific, I am struggling with figuring out my future. I am a junior in high school, and the stress of GPA's, scholarships, athletics, driving tests, and figuring out a career is taking its toll. Instead of laying down my stress before the Lord, I have been wobbling to carry it.

Many of you will say this next part is bizarre, but I have developed a disorder called Trichotillomania. Its a shameful disorder where I pull out my eyebrows and eyelashes. Just like a cutter doesn't feel pain, the same goes with the pulling. Some of you will say, just stop pulling your hair. Well it isn't that easy. It's a bad psychological habit ingrained into my brain that temporarily releases stress with each pull and sometimes I don't even notice myself doing it. I used to wear hats in 6th grade to hide my missing eyebrows and now I try to cover it with make-up. I am ashamed and I need God's mercy to save me. This world will be full of Satan's attempts to make my life miserable. He whispers into my ear "Rachel you can stop pulling on your own". I can't do things on my own because I am too weak but "That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I amweak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:10. I am going to try to dive deeper into God's word. This way anytime I feel the urge to pull, I can remember God's word because I know God hears "me when I'm calling... catch(es) me when I'm falling And.. told me who I am...I am yours." Please pray for me as I embark on my journey of learning trust God.
 

BillySurya91

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Lord I know that there is nothing that is impossible in you and you never disappoint us whenever we lean and trust on you. I pray for you to guide her as she embarks on a journey with you and I know you will. For you are faithful, God of grace and love. In Jesus name I pray... Gbu Rachel :)
 
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Heartofsilver

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Thank you for sharing your story hun, it is similar to mine when it comes to anxiety and picking at my own head til I bleed. I thank God for this transparency that He has given us to say the Truth. I Pray that we both get through these things as well as your schooling, athletics, and your future. All shall come in God's Perfect and Loving Timing. You shall be Redeemed by Him, He shall Anoint your head with oil and Bless you. I'm glad that I have read this, for I am not alone. God is with us both of us, seeking us out to Redeem us and to Cure us of our pain as well as suffering. We shall mount up on wings like Eagles if we only be still and know that He is God, but only by God and His Loving timing can we be still and know His suffering that He did for us. He knows our pains and understands all. He is the only One Who can Help us, so let us Pray to Trust in Him.

Thank You Father God for the Healing of Rachel, thank You God for Healing the soul within her. Thank God for making this a joyous journey for the both of us to get through life and Trust in You. To see that our needs can only be fulfilled by You. Thank You Jesus for releasing us from our chains in Jesus' Name! Thank You Lord for reminding us to Seek You in times of strife, anxiety, and confusion. It is not of You Lord and I thank You for taking this from us and giving us Healing, solutions as well as giving us patience in Waiting on You God. Thank You Lord for upholding this powerful woman in Your Name God and Helping her through school, athletics, and being with her through the future, forevermore Jesus Amen and Amen Lord Jesus Amen. Thank You Father God, Jesus, Your Holy Almighty Spirit Amen, and to You Lord be all of the Glory always and forever. [emoji169][emoji120][emoji119][emoji2]

2 Timothy 1:7
 
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Sam91

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I will be praying in a second. While you battle your issue of hair puliing how about a substitute. I have noticed that when i am stressed i put my thumb nail against my index finger and gently dig it against the tip of that finger. Im not saying its a good idea but it doesnt leave a mark. You could just give all your cares over to the Lord too?

Also Psalm 91. Is my refuge.

I adore that song 'Who am I?' btw xx
 
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