Late 20s and Early 30s a Virgin Lifestyle

Teslafied

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But even church men, go behind their God and do things that God says are sins etc. I want to find a guy, if my Boyfriend and I ever break up, I want a guy that doesn't drink, smoke, or do drugs, and is a virgin, waiting to wait until marriage to have sex, wants to get married, and doesn't have or want to have kids. And I know these types of guys are rare and doesn't exist.

That's not true, yes they may be somewhat hard to find and that's why God will send them to you, or perhaps you to them.

Again my husband was 30 and a virgin and again he prayed for a wife and God sent me.
 
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RileyG

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Why would you remain a virgin for the rest of your life?
Because it's my choice. I am a virgin for the kingdom. I feel very much called to the single life.

Sorry for the late response.
 
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Sex is incredible. If you base your entire identity and self-worth off of being a virgin (which is a societally constructed ideal anyways and doesn't truly exist) how are you going to feel when you finally lose your virginity? Will you lose your identity as well? I lost my virginity at 15 and have had a healthy, safe sex life for nearly ten years now. I have no regrets as I do not tie my identity to my sexuality. Sex is something I do, no who I am. You're missing out on one of the best parts of life.
 
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David.Lynch

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But even church men, go behind their God and do things that God says are sins etc. I want to find a guy, if my Boyfriend and I ever break up, I want a guy that doesn't drink, smoke, or do drugs, and is a virgin, waiting to wait until marriage to have sex, wants to get married, and doesn't have or want to have kids. And I know these types of guys are rare and doesn't exist.

They are rare, but I am a man that matches all of these qualities. I'm 28. I've vowed off alcohol because I wasn't able to control myself when I would drink, so I decided to sacrifice it for God, that was 10 years ago. I've never smoked. I've tried drugs a couple times but after a bad experience I also gave this up for God, that was also 10 years ago. I'm a virgin, and while it was been the most challenging thing of my life, that I am torn apart inside at times, running up the walls like your boyfriend does, I continue to do it because I made the vow to God to do so, and I don't want to go back on my word to the most meaningful relationship in my life. I would love to get married and I am not very particular about having children really, but if my wife wanted it deeply, I would submit to her.

I shared all this because I know how it can frustrating, relying on your faith in God's will to find you an adequate partner, you can start to feel like this person doesn't exist. But one day they will come into your life out of the blue and then he's there. I too am very hopeful on finding this person. I hope very much to find a woman like yourself some day as well!
 
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tatteredsoul

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No, you're not wrong. You have your personal beliefs and convictions and have stated them. Lack of sex will not kill someone, the fact that he is trying to change your mind means he doesn't respect those beliefs.

He says you're worth waiting for, yet is trying to make you stop waiting. It seems like you've talked to him about it before, but make sure he knows it's a serious thing to you.

There are other things that can bring a couple closer together, especially emotionally.

I also liked for your signature on FDR
 
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tatteredsoul

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I am almost 30 years of age, currently 28. Ever since I was little, I was told growing up not to drink, smoke, or do drugs. I never have. I was also told that I should not have sexual intercourse until marriage. I am to this day still a Virgin and I am saving myself until marriage.

I am proud to be a Virgin and I am happy to be waiting until marriage. BUT here's the thing, I am saving myself for marriage and I even have a Boyfriend, who I have been with going on 2 years.

He knows I am a Virgin and he knows I am waiting until marriage. BUT...... he keeps telling me how he's sexually frustrated, and how he wants us to move things to another level and to have sex.

I have told him, you know my feelings on sex, I am not having sex until I am married. He understands but it still gets to him and he wants us to have sex already so we can be closer to each other.

I have told him, if you want sex that much, we can break up and he can find someone to date that he can have sex with ya know? But he then says, people are worth waiting for, and I don't want to loose you etc. I just don't know what to do. Please help. Am I doing the right thing by waiting or is it wrong of me?

I am a virgin too, and a male. It is hard to fight temptation I would say in the beginning, but not so much if you really love and respect someone. Not saying your boyfriend doesn't at all; one could argue I have no idea what I am missing, so it is easier for me.

I will say, though, it isn't like I DON'T want to have sex, I just want to with the right person - an even person. My choice, like yours, is to wait until an appropriate time. (My belief is sex = marriage, so even if we don't have a ceremony, I need to make sure it is with a person with whom I can spend my life.)

That said, you aren't doing anything wrong. I was with someone who I actually loved - like, when I saw her face, all I could see was a light, and her beauty. It was that deep. She was like you in that she just didnt want to have sex just because of attraction - there were "cheques and balances" to be had (courtship, engagement, meet the parents, marriage, THEN consummation.) The thing is, I loved and respected her decision so I deeply respected that and didn't pressure her. After a year of being together she kissed me on the cheek and that was a big deal. It was literally one of those relationships where I would have kissed her for the first time at the wedding - at least by her boundaries.

Don't mean to be too verbose, but from a male perspective you should know you aren't wrong. I am not judging your BF, just saying you aren't wrong for your convictions.
 
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David.Lynch

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I am a virgin too, and a male. It is hard to fight temptation I would say in the beginning, but not so much if you really love and respect someone. Not saying your boyfriend doesn't at all; one could argue I have no idea what I am missing, so it is easier for me.

I will say, though, it isn't like I DON'T want to have sex, I just want to with the right person - an even person. My choice, like yours, is to wait until an appropriate time. (My belief is sex = marriage, so even if we don't have a ceremony, I need to make sure it is with a person with whom I can spend my life.)

That said, you aren't doing anything wrong. I was with someone who I actually loved - like, when I saw her face, all I could see was a light, and her beauty. It was that deep. She was like you in that she just didnt want to have sex just because of attraction - there were "cheques and balances" to be had (courtship, engagement, meet the parents, marriage, THEN consummation.) The thing is, I loved and respected her decision so I deeply respected that and didn't pressure her. After a year of being together she kissed me on the cheek and that was a big deal. It was literally one of those relationships where I would have kissed her for the first time at the wedding - at least by her boundaries.

Don't mean to be too verbose, but from a male perspective you should know you aren't wrong. I am not judging your BF, just saying you aren't wrong for your convictions.

What ended up happening between you two? BTW I'm also a 28 and virgin male and am happy to see I'm not alone in my decision.
 
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tatteredsoul

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What ended up happening between you two? BTW I'm also a 28 and virgin male and am happy to see I'm not alone in my decision.

Spiritual alignment was off. As much as we loved each other, neither one of us was going to compromise our spirituality. And, the issue of kids being raised came up, which was also split.

It had nothing to do with virginity or anything. We weren't evenly yoked, spiritually.
 
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Nataly87

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Well that sucks. I know the guy for me, whenever he may come along, will be the one for me and fit all I want! And I know I will treat him well and he will treat me well as well haha. Things will look up for me I just know it. :)
 
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tatteredsoul

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Well that sucks. I know the guy for me, whenever he may come along, will be the one for me and fit all I want! And I know I will treat him well and he will treat me well as well haha. Things will look up for me I just know it. :)

It's teaching me how to like being with myself without the need to have a partner. I think the perceived loneliness of not having a partner is a decision in people's virginity/sexual lives. Maybe we are lucky/blessed to be able to enjoy our own company without settling so that we can actually give 100% to whomever our well-deserved God-picked help meet will be.
 
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Sir Robbins

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Nataly87; out of curiosity, what is your view in terms of smoking if someone only smokes cigars or may once in a blue moon have a glass of scotch? I don't drink but know a few guys who only touch a glass of scotch on rare occasions. I smoke cigars regularly and it seems to set a different tone for some compared to smoking cigarettes or other unmentioned products. It doesn't bother them as much. What is your stance on this? Simply curious
 
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Nataly87

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Nataly87; out of curiosity, what is your view in terms of smoking if someone only smokes cigars or may once in a blue moon have a glass of scotch? I don't drink but know a few guys who only touch a glass of scotch on rare occasions. I smoke cigars regularly and it seems to set a different tone for some compared to smoking cigarettes or other unmentioned products. It doesn't bother them as much. What is your stance on this? Simply curious

NO SMOKING, DRINKING, OR DRUG USE AT ALL. IF ITS ONCE IN A WHILE, ONCE A YEAR, FOR CELEBRATION, etc. NOTHING IS ALLOWED, IF YOU DO ANY OF THIS, I WILL NOT DATE YOU PERIOD.
 
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Sir Robbins

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it's a hard pill to swallow, a reality that's hard to accept but I have for the most part. I focus my time on building cars, model railroads and try to make the most of being alone all the time. I have gotten used to eating alone... that was hard
 
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The_Gaurdian87

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I am 28 and haven't had sex let alone a girlfriend. I guess it just boiled down to me being a shy dude and afraid of rejection so I never worked up the nerve to ask any girl I was interested in out. Even though I struggle with some sexual sin, I plan to wait until marriage even when I get a girlfriend. But as for the topic, as Christian's its nothing to be ashamed of to wait until marriage, it's something God himself said we should do.
 
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Peace Keeper

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You are doing the right decision not having sex before marriage, that would be my desire as well, to wait. The right man will maybe be tempted but he would respect you and wait for you without trying to pressure you in any way. If you are meant to stay together I hope you work it out and he understands and spends more time with you even though you are waiting until marriage.
 
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