I just recently checked all my posts from the last few years on here when I signed up, and I actually came and noticed a lot of things I never came to notice and realize when I kept trying to ask God for answers to prayer and honestly, I never realized what I kept praying for and kept asking and not taking people's responses and answers into better consideration after a while.
Rather, I was ignorant of God's word, his will and so much after pushing myself thru school and getting completely lost becsuse I kept seeking healing and help from other things outside of my awareness and looking for a cure to cure my anxiety attacks.
I actually realized that even though I did as God to come help and pray for me for healing, I didn't come on here until later when I kept suffering and got into even more trouble becsuse of my pride and confusion, becsuse I got too caught up in the world.
My mistake was not coming on here and asking God to cure me of my anxiety until it became bipolar and the sad thing is I couldn't find work or get insurance before my attacks started kicking in. Basically, Satan caught me in a trap of lies the past couple of years trying to get thru life and I screwed up big time which is why the past 8 years have been difficult and got into a lot of crazy things I couldn't comprehend over the years. Rather, I was ignorant and completely foolish to the things and deceptions of this world because I kept trying To go and get cures for what I kept dealing with instead of praying to God in his word asking for help becsuse I kept getting bought into deceptions and things of this world. I was arrogant and foolish going thru school not even realizing how it really was going to be and kept wondering why life was so scary and difficult.
Well, I'm also realizing much about my dreams too which I had when it came to this girl I cared for and couldn't comprehend the meaning behind the dream for years and things between us never came and went well. I got confused and focused solely on what I wanted that I couldn't comprehend or understand what was going on or the bigger picture and grand scale of things. I was so confused and blinded by my love for her that it caused confusion and problems that I couldn't comprehend or understand and still kept trying to climb out grow and understand from and realized I need to ask God for the bigger picture and help becsus of my crazy foolish ways and how crazy I was not being able to comprehend what was going on or what gods will was for me.
I made too many costly mistakes over the years trying to comprehend and figure things out on my own and got into lots of trouble becsuse of it. I couldn't figure things out assuming I knew it all because of high school but kept getting tricked by Satan over he silliest and craziest things i kept coming across over the years and needed gods help to cure me but wasn't receiving it becsuse I made foolish choices that kept causing me trouble.
I was arrogant, ignorant and foolish in not understanding what was going on but needed gods help to help me get out and find work becsuse I wasn't prepared for he world like I thought and kept assuming I did. So I fooled myself into false thinkng.
I didn't find work to invest in insurance of learned how to care for myself and kept buying into foolish false philophies becsuse of what I kept focusing and believing in.
After a while I realized what needed to be fixed becsuse I was not secure of able to fix things the way I could do so and life was difficult 8 years living with anxiety and not being able to progress becsuse of it. Not finding work and getting a degree that didn't help me when I wanted to get into grad school and get my masters in experimental psychology, philosophy and math, so things went bad and got confused after a while and ran out of money and things caused to be very difficult and tough becsuse of bad choices, decisions and attitude becsuse I looked at things all wrong and couldn't comprehend what was going on.
Basically I need gods help to help me comprehend and understand what's going on and need his help to rescuer me and set me free becsuse my ignorance came and put me here when I should've focused on getting my masters and not get into music like I did which confused me and got me into politics. Sure, I learned and grew a lot but ultimately wanted to get my supplies and games and everything back becsuse I kept making bad choices and kept doing things I shouldn't becsuse I kept going with the wrong things in hoping my anxiety would be cured but couldn't overcome it becsuse I kept making bad choices to get rid of it which wouldn't go away.
I'm asking God to come and help restore and recover my years lost when I kept trying to get my higher education and keep pushing doing the right thing getting work and making money and help me thru medical school so I can get back into getting my higher education in math, philosophy and experimental psychology together for my PhDs and push to getting my projects and goals done and getting things going. I'm asking God to come help restore all I lost and more and recover all I lost becsuse of all the unwise decisions I kept making when I couldn't kept doing the right things and not the wrong, to help me with my goals, certifications, employment and martial arts and fitness goals.
I need God to come help me overcome these things that caused me trouble becsuse I kept making bad choices and need gods help to overcome and get things done when I could've gone and gotten them done becsus I kept making bad choices and ask he helps me recover and overturn and recover all becsus I lost them all becsus of my bad and lousy foolish choices and need help getting out cuz of if.
Rather, I was ignorant of God's word, his will and so much after pushing myself thru school and getting completely lost becsuse I kept seeking healing and help from other things outside of my awareness and looking for a cure to cure my anxiety attacks.
I actually realized that even though I did as God to come help and pray for me for healing, I didn't come on here until later when I kept suffering and got into even more trouble becsuse of my pride and confusion, becsuse I got too caught up in the world.
My mistake was not coming on here and asking God to cure me of my anxiety until it became bipolar and the sad thing is I couldn't find work or get insurance before my attacks started kicking in. Basically, Satan caught me in a trap of lies the past couple of years trying to get thru life and I screwed up big time which is why the past 8 years have been difficult and got into a lot of crazy things I couldn't comprehend over the years. Rather, I was ignorant and completely foolish to the things and deceptions of this world because I kept trying To go and get cures for what I kept dealing with instead of praying to God in his word asking for help becsuse I kept getting bought into deceptions and things of this world. I was arrogant and foolish going thru school not even realizing how it really was going to be and kept wondering why life was so scary and difficult.
Well, I'm also realizing much about my dreams too which I had when it came to this girl I cared for and couldn't comprehend the meaning behind the dream for years and things between us never came and went well. I got confused and focused solely on what I wanted that I couldn't comprehend or understand what was going on or the bigger picture and grand scale of things. I was so confused and blinded by my love for her that it caused confusion and problems that I couldn't comprehend or understand and still kept trying to climb out grow and understand from and realized I need to ask God for the bigger picture and help becsus of my crazy foolish ways and how crazy I was not being able to comprehend what was going on or what gods will was for me.
I made too many costly mistakes over the years trying to comprehend and figure things out on my own and got into lots of trouble becsuse of it. I couldn't figure things out assuming I knew it all because of high school but kept getting tricked by Satan over he silliest and craziest things i kept coming across over the years and needed gods help to cure me but wasn't receiving it becsuse I made foolish choices that kept causing me trouble.
I was arrogant, ignorant and foolish in not understanding what was going on but needed gods help to help me get out and find work becsuse I wasn't prepared for he world like I thought and kept assuming I did. So I fooled myself into false thinkng.
I didn't find work to invest in insurance of learned how to care for myself and kept buying into foolish false philophies becsuse of what I kept focusing and believing in.
After a while I realized what needed to be fixed becsuse I was not secure of able to fix things the way I could do so and life was difficult 8 years living with anxiety and not being able to progress becsuse of it. Not finding work and getting a degree that didn't help me when I wanted to get into grad school and get my masters in experimental psychology, philosophy and math, so things went bad and got confused after a while and ran out of money and things caused to be very difficult and tough becsuse of bad choices, decisions and attitude becsuse I looked at things all wrong and couldn't comprehend what was going on.
Basically I need gods help to help me comprehend and understand what's going on and need his help to rescuer me and set me free becsuse my ignorance came and put me here when I should've focused on getting my masters and not get into music like I did which confused me and got me into politics. Sure, I learned and grew a lot but ultimately wanted to get my supplies and games and everything back becsuse I kept making bad choices and kept doing things I shouldn't becsuse I kept going with the wrong things in hoping my anxiety would be cured but couldn't overcome it becsuse I kept making bad choices to get rid of it which wouldn't go away.
I'm asking God to come and help restore and recover my years lost when I kept trying to get my higher education and keep pushing doing the right thing getting work and making money and help me thru medical school so I can get back into getting my higher education in math, philosophy and experimental psychology together for my PhDs and push to getting my projects and goals done and getting things going. I'm asking God to come help restore all I lost and more and recover all I lost becsuse of all the unwise decisions I kept making when I couldn't kept doing the right things and not the wrong, to help me with my goals, certifications, employment and martial arts and fitness goals.
I need God to come help me overcome these things that caused me trouble becsuse I kept making bad choices and need gods help to overcome and get things done when I could've gone and gotten them done becsus I kept making bad choices and ask he helps me recover and overturn and recover all becsus I lost them all becsus of my bad and lousy foolish choices and need help getting out cuz of if.
