How do you deal with flashbacks?

LovebirdsFlying · Feb 12, 2016

Sometimes, before I am aware it's happening, I start playing an old scene in my head of something that happened in the past. It can be a situation that was merely unfair, or an event that was downright life-threatening. Regardless of how severe it was, it's always an issue that never got resolved. For example, if somebody committed a crime, they got away with it, or if a family member was hurtful and mean, they never apologized. Then the old angry feelings come up. Only when I realize I'm boiling with rage again does it occur to me I've been remembering those things. Because whatever I'm remembering happened years ago, and the other people involved in it might have even passed away by now, it obviously never WILL be resolved. I'm never going to hear that apology, or the person who committed the crime never will go to jail for it.

I don't like feeling those angry emotions, but I don't know how to quiet them without it sounding like I'm trying to convince myself it wasn't wrong, and that I'm the one who is wrong for thinking it was.

It can happen at any time, for any reason. Often it keeps me from enjoying the present, because my memory is hijacking my emotions. I've had people speak to me, and I couldn't hear what they were saying, because right then I was having a flashback. Fortunately, I have an understanding family now, and I can say to them, "Sorry, I was having a flashback." This helps pull me back into the present. It's not as simple as not thinking about it, though, because I am not aware I'm thinking about it until I start feeling the emotions.

What do you do to handle flashbacks? I don't think I can stop them from happening, so I need to know how to manage them when they do happen.

PropheticTimes · Feb 12, 2016

Romans 12:19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.

I have flashbacks. They are difficult to handle, the brewing storm of emotions they whip up. The above helps me to be reminded that no one ever truly "gets away" with anything. The Lord sees all, and we will all have to face judgment on the choices we make.

I have heard that to forgive is to be set free, however saying "I forgive you" and actually feeling it are very different things. It is a journey, not "once said it's done" kind of thing.

Here is what helps me, along with the above scripture, and it holds very true, as I am sure you know -

"Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." - Gautama Buddha
and
"Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured." - Mark Twain

Holding anger harms US, not them. If someone wronged us in this life, even if they do not "pay the price" here on this earth, they will on judgment day. Let go, let God, He is better at it than we are.

BeStill&Know · Feb 12, 2016

LovebirdsFlying said:
What do you do to handle flashbacks? I don't think I can stop them from happening, so I need to know how to manage them when they do happen.

Hello sweetheart, my experience has told me flash backs are not of God. So we know that unless we get amnesia, our minds won't forget because that is how our brains are coded. We also know that this is used by our enemy of our souls, to defeat us at every opportunity. Our Lord says Aramaic Bible Ephesians 6:17
Put on the helmet of salvation and grasp the "SWORD of the SPIRIT", which is the "Word of God".
Replacing the thoughts/images in your mind with an out spoken Word from the Lord, depending on "His strength" through "His Words" which have power, will help you to over come the battle you face.

Hosea 6:5
Therefore I cut you in pieces....., I killed you with the words of my mouth..................

Zechariah 4:6
Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,' says the LORD Almighty.

Ephesians 5:26
Making her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water of the Word

Hebrews 4:12
Word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit.............; judging the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

Hebrews 6:5
Who have tasted the goodness of the Word of God and the powers of the coming age

Catherineanne · Feb 15, 2016

<Staff Edit>

Memory is a natural part of human existence, and flashbacks are a normal experience when dealing with traumatic experiences. It is very wrong indeed to equate flashbacks with being 'not of God'. The trauma which causes them is unlikely to have much to do with holiness or godliness, but experiencing flashbacks is not an unholy experience.

LovebirdsFlying · Feb 15, 2016

Speaking for myself, when I read "not of God," I tend to translate it, "of the devil." The advice can be taken to mean, "You're not holy and spiritual enough, or else you wouldn't be having these issues." I am choosing to believe it wasn't intended that way. However, I have had people come right out and say it like that, including one mental health technician (working in an inpatient facility) who was also a seminary student. After he told me word for word that he didn't think I was saved, or else Jesus would have taken away the depressive illness and I wouldn't have it anymore, he was no longer allowed to be alone with patients. A well-known preacher I'll choose not to name has similarly counseled soldiers to "get rid of that right now," referring to combat PTSD, by sending it away in the name of Jesus. There is more than an implication there that if a believer still has PTSD, then that believer isn't truly believing enough. I don't want to debate that issue, just point out that it happens.

Replacing the thoughts, as BeStill mentions, is actually a DBT skill called "turning the mind." DBT can be helpful, and compatible with Christian belief, although I find a need to replace some of the terminology. For example, during one particular mindfulness exercise, instead of thanking the chair for its kindness in holding me off the ground, I'll thank the Lord for providing me with the means to have a chair. Instead of concentrating on feeling "connected to the universe," I'll concentrate on feeling my relationship with my Heavenly Father who made the universe. If using a "mantra" helps to refocus and pull myself out of a crisis, that repeated phrase will be something like, "Jesus is Lord." In this way, even though much of DBT comes from Eastern philosophy, I can use those tools in a Christian way. (I suppose I needed to be reminded to do that.)

I think my biggest problem is that I am mired in these negative thought patterns before I'm aware of it. Tools to bring me out of that way of thinking once I'm in it would be most helpful, and then if possible, tools to help me stop it before it starts.

BeStill&Know · Feb 15, 2016

LovebirdsFlying said:
Speaking for myself, when I read "not of God," I tend to translate it, "of the devil." The advice can be taken to mean, "You're not holy and spiritual enough, or else you wouldn't be having these issues." I am choosing to believe it wasn't intended that way. However, I have had people come right out and say it like that, including one mental health technician (working in an inpatient facility) who was also a seminary student. After he told me word for word that he didn't think I was saved, or else Jesus would have taken away the depressive illness and I wouldn't have it anymore, he was no longer allowed to be alone with patients. A well-known preacher I'll choose not to name has similarly counseled soldiers to "get rid of that right now," referring to combat PTSD, by sending it away in the name of Jesus. There is more than an implication there that if a believer still has PTSD, then that believer isn't truly believing enough. I don't want to debate that issue, just point out that it happens.

Replacing the thoughts, as BeStill mentions, is actually a DBT skill called "turning the mind." DBT can be helpful, and compatible with Christian belief, although I find a need to replace some of the terminology. For example, during one particular mindfulness exercise, instead of thanking the chair for its kindness in holding me off the ground, I'll thank the Lord for providing me with the means to have a chair. Instead of concentrating on feeling "connected to the universe," I'll concentrate on feeling my relationship with my Heavenly Father who made the universe. If using a "mantra" helps to refocus and pull myself out of a crisis, that repeated phrase will be something like, "Jesus is Lord." In this way, even though much of DBT comes from Eastern philosophy, I can use those tools in a Christian way. (I suppose I needed to be reminded to do that.)

I think my biggest problem is that I am mired in these negative thought patterns before I'm aware of it. Tools to bring me out of that way of thinking once I'm in it would be most helpful, and then if possible, tools to help me stop it before it starts.

No sweet heart, I did not intend that a person who has flash backs is not Godly or holy. the torment from flashbacks in my opinion are not from God is what i meant. Looks like you have been persecuted for being victimized and tormented. It sorry to say but I've heard this else where, from certain denomination groups. It's always best to go to the source Jesus the Christ, and His Word, and focus on Him and not persons who believe have been indoctrinated incorrectly. As Yeshua is loving and merciful to you in your distress, so you be that way to yourself, and be patient.
I do believe in INSTANT miracles, but because we actually do not see Jesus kind, loving face and merciful eyes like those who gazed upon His continence 2000 years ago, it's more difficult for us IMHO.
BTW Over the years I've heard very popular preachers, and evangelist give that "pull yourself up by your boot straps sermon" when it came to mental issues, only to later discover they fell into major depression, one confessed he was institutionalized after a break down.
Have you read the book Who Switched Off My Brain? The author is on Youtube for free. It may be on Kindle.

Extraneous · Feb 16, 2016

I have had flashbacks. It was difficult because it robbed my sleep. I would lay down to get much needed rest and then the flood of memories would come in and destroy. It was very difficult. If you cant sleep then you only get worse because we need sleep.

I dont know what the answer is, but as another person has said, forgiveness is a key i think.

People have no idea how much destruction their words and actions can have on others. They can laugh at you and have a good time doing it, but you end up being tortured by it for a very long time.

The Lord said woe unto them who cause offenses. WE are all guilty i suppose, but some people seem to make a game out of offending people, as if they enjoyed hurting people. We should be very cautious about how we treat each other. Love fulfills the law.

Matthew 18:7 Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to stumble! Such things must come, but woe to the person through whom they come!

Catherineanne · Feb 16, 2016

LovebirdsFlying said:
Speaking for myself, when I read "not of God," I tend to translate it, "of the devil." The advice can be taken to mean, "You're not holy and spiritual enough, or else you wouldn't be having these issues." I am choosing to believe it wasn't intended that way. However, I have had people come right out and say it like that, including one mental health technician (working in an inpatient facility) who was also a seminary student. After he told me word for word that he didn't think I was saved, or else Jesus would have taken away the depressive illness and I wouldn't have it anymore, he was no longer allowed to be alone with patients. A well-known preacher I'll choose not to name has similarly counseled soldiers to "get rid of that right now," referring to combat PTSD, by sending it away in the name of Jesus. There is more than an implication there that if a believer still has PTSD, then that believer isn't truly believing enough. I don't want to debate that issue, just point out that it happens.

Yes, that thinking is sadly very common. And totally and utterly wrong. For some reason mental conditions are regarded as a sign of moral degeneracy or inadequacy. In fact the very opposite is true; we are survivors, not inadequates.

Replacing the thoughts, as BeStill mentions, is actually a DBT skill called "turning the mind." DBT can be helpful, and compatible with Christian belief, although I find a need to replace some of the terminology. For example, during one particular mindfulness exercise, instead of thanking the chair for its kindness in holding me off the ground, I'll thank the Lord for providing me with the means to have a chair. Instead of concentrating on feeling "connected to the universe," I'll concentrate on feeling my relationship with my Heavenly Father who made the universe. If using a "mantra" helps to refocus and pull myself out of a crisis, that repeated phrase will be something like, "Jesus is Lord." In this way, even though much of DBT comes from Eastern philosophy, I can use those tools in a Christian way. (I suppose I needed to be reminded to do that.)

All good. Perhaps, 'Jesus is Lord, and my friend' might be even better.

I think my biggest problem is that I am mired in these negative thought patterns before I'm aware of it. Tools to bring me out of that way of thinking once I'm in it would be most helpful, and then if possible, tools to help me stop it before it starts.

One problem can be that we are wired to accept negative comments as true, while discounting positive ones as due to the other person being kind. It can help to go out of your way to notice positive comments, and to collect them in a book; write them all down.

I did this some years ago, and the comments were really touching. But then I stopped; I am not sure why, really.

LovebirdsFlying · Feb 16, 2016

Good idea, keeping a positive comment journal. Let me say I've learned a lot from you about exposing family members' hidden agendas, such as secretly (so secretly they're not fully aware of it themselves) wanting to keep me helpless and dependent on them, so they feel important by taking care of me, and can tell themselves they're healthy because they're better off than I am. I start getting well and acting functional, that busts up the game, so they have to stop me somehow.

This morning I considered the technique of having an inner dialog with the person whose voice I'm hearing in my mind. If they start getting too critical, I remind them whose head this is, and they need to get out now, because they're barging in where they're not welcome. I suppose it's similar to kicking somebody out of my house. It doesn't matter why, or whether or not I'm being reasonable. It's my house, my head, my say. Then I picture them leaving, because they have no choice. I'm the one in charge, for a change.

Once when the critical voice in my head belonged to my father, I reminded him that he was always big on "my house, my rules," and this is my house. Furthermore, he liked to go on about respecting your elders. Well, I'm older than he lived to be, so I'm the elder now, and he needs to respect me. His voice has been strangely silent ever since.

Maybe I know *what* to do, but I need to be reminded to do it. I'd like for this thread to serve as a general suggestion area for anyone dealing with flashbacks.

Catherineanne · Feb 16, 2016

LovebirdsFlying said:
Good idea, keeping a positive comment journal. Let me say I've learned a lot from you about exposing family members' hidden agendas, such as secretly (so secretly they're not fully aware of it themselves) wanting to keep me helpless and dependent on them, so they feel important by taking care of me, and can tell themselves they're healthy because they're better off than I am. I start getting well and acting functional, that busts up the game, so they have to stop me somehow.

A good friend expressed this very well to me. He said that I am the truth teller, and those who cannot cope with the truth have to either silence me or ignore me. I am tolerated when I am looking after everyone, but not when I speak out.

This morning I considered the technique of having an inner dialog with the person whose voice I'm hearing in my mind. If they start getting too critical, I remind them whose head this is, and they need to get out now, because they're barging in where they're not welcome. I suppose it's similar to kicking somebody out of my house. It doesn't matter why, or whether or not I'm being reasonable. It's my house, my head, my say. Then I picture them leaving, because they have no choice. I'm the one in charge, for a change.

That is superb visualisation. My dad used to have that rule as well; it was always his house, not mine. Well, as you say, this is my house, not his. I get to choose.

Once when the critical voice in my head belonged to my father, I reminded him that he was always big on "my house, my rules," and this is my house. Furthermore, he liked to go on about respecting your elders. Well, I'm older than he lived to be, so I'm the elder now, and he needs to respect me. His voice has been strangely silent ever since.

Well done!! That really is very good!

Maybe I know *what* to do, but I need to be reminded to do it. I'd like for this thread to serve as a general suggestion area for anyone dealing with flashbacks.

Very good idea! I think I will say I recommend the occasional use of a herbal sleep aid; not sleeping tablets because I find anything on prescription to be too strong for me, and certainly not every night, but once in a while if the flashbacks are very strong something very mild from a health food shop, like valerian root. If unsure check with a pharmacist or doctor, because traumatised people can be very sensitive to medication, but it may be worth a try as long as they say it is ok.

Danoh · Mar 3, 2016

LovebirdsFlying said:
Sometimes, before I am aware it's happening, I start playing an old scene in my head of something that happened in the past. It can be a situation that was merely unfair, or an event that was downright life-threatening. Regardless of how severe it was, it's always an issue that never got resolved. For example, if somebody committed a crime, they got away with it, or if a family member was hurtful and mean, they never apologized. Then the old angry feelings come up. Only when I realize I'm boiling with rage again does it occur to me I've been remembering those things. Because whatever I'm remembering happened years ago, and the other people involved in it might have even passed away by now, it obviously never WILL be resolved. I'm never going to hear that apology, or the person who committed the crime never will go to jail for it.

I don't like feeling those angry emotions, but I don't know how to quiet them without it sounding like I'm trying to convince myself it wasn't wrong, and that I'm the one who is wrong for thinking it was.

It can happen at any time, for any reason. Often it keeps me from enjoying the present, because my memory is hijacking my emotions. I've had people speak to me, and I couldn't hear what they were saying, because right then I was having a flashback. Fortunately, I have an understanding family now, and I can say to them, "Sorry, I was having a flashback." This helps pull me back into the present. It's not as simple as not thinking about it, though, because I am not aware I'm thinking about it until I start feeling the emotions.

What do you do to handle flashbacks? I don't think I can stop them from happening, so I need to know how to manage them when they do happen.

I once helped a person with a severe stuttering problem to quit stuttering simply by suggesting that they try to stutter on purpose and then stop on purpose.

I'd advise the same to you. Simply consciously think the thoughts and see the images you normally find you have been engaged in that resulted in your being teed off, or whatever, and then stop.

In other words, practice makes perfect. So practice beginnig to "go there" but add in "no, not today, I havs better things to do..." just as you begin to "boil."

If you can attach this new direction to emotion it, will become automatic: becuase that is one purpose of emotions. Its why they are sometimes such a nuisance, lol

You might even rehearse that you are sitting there talking with someone, this thing starts up, and you catch it.

If you have ever thought to yourself about anything in life "now, what was I thinking when the phone rang, oh yeah, I was going to..." then you already have experience at redirecting your mind when it went south on you.

Anyway, next thing you know, the next time you begin to "go there" it shuts itself down becuase you have built in an automatic shut down.

In fact, you will begin to find you don't even "go there" anymore.

Of course in some cases it is better to address the issues.

All the best...

katerinah1947 · Mar 19, 2016

LovebirdsFlying said:
Sometimes, before I am aware it's happening, I start playing an old scene in my head of something that happened in the past. It can be a situation that was merely unfair, or an event that was downright life-threatening. Regardless of how severe it was, it's always an issue that never got resolved. For example, if somebody committed a crime, they got away with it, or if a family member was hurtful and mean, they never apologized. Then the old angry feelings come up. Only when I realize I'm boiling with rage again does it occur to me I've been remembering those things. Because whatever I'm remembering happened years ago, and the other people involved in it might have even passed away by now, it obviously never WILL be resolved. I'm never going to hear that apology, or the person who committed the crime never will go to jail for it.

I don't like feeling those angry emotions, but I don't know how to quiet them without it sounding like I'm trying to convince myself it wasn't wrong, and that I'm the one who is wrong for thinking it was.

It can happen at any time, for any reason. Often it keeps me from enjoying the present, because my memory is hijacking my emotions. I've had people speak to me, and I couldn't hear what they were saying, because right then I was having a flashback. Fortunately, I have an understanding family now, and I can say to them, "Sorry, I was having a flashback." This helps pull me back into the present. It's not as simple as not thinking about it, though, because I am not aware I'm thinking about it until I start feeling the emotions.

What do you do to handle flashbacks? I don't think I can stop them from happening, so I need to know how to manage them when they do happen.

Hi,

My last trauma, was last week. My first big one that I blew away, was at 11 1/2 years old, At least from age three or so, life has been a trauma.

All that, to say this. I go into full flashbacks and don't even know for days or months sometimes that I am having one, or several at the same time.

I am not talking about triggers, things that start an episode, but just being in them for days.

Time for me, seems to be the only remedy, so deep they can be layered. In the mean time, people seem to either not notice, or they might just make allowances.

Mostly time and sometimes Benadryl to sleep, eventually allows me to get above all the flashbacks and then, I can see what I acted like.

So. Other than sharing, I have no remedy for flash backs.

Sorry.

LOVE,

Danoh · Mar 29, 2016

A friend of mine had an automobile accident where her car ended up, upside down with her and her two toddlers in the car.

The next day, she drove to work to tell me about it.

When I asked her about it, she related how horrified she had been.

When I asked her what had enabled her to get in her car the next day, she related that she had two small children who need their mom to have her wits about her no matter what life throws at her.

"Trauma" solved...

Its a matter of somehow forming much more powerful associations between one thing and another than the problematic one.

Danoh · Apr 3, 2016

Johnnz · Apr 7, 2016

Look at these practical steps from Complex PTSD: From Surving to Thriving by Pete Walker.

13 Steps" page of my website: www.pete-walker.com

John
NZ

Danoh · Apr 8, 2016

Where are the 13 steps?

Johnnz · Apr 8, 2016

There is a link on his website on the right hand side www.pete-walker.com

John
NZ

Danoh · Apr 8, 2016

Johnnz said:
There is a link on his website on the right hand side www.pete-walker.com

John
NZ

Found it; those would be great to run through NLP's The Swish Pattern (which I have applied for one thing or another, with myself and or others, and can attest to its reliability).

http://nlp-now.co.uk/nlp-swish-technique/

God's Child · Apr 12, 2016

This thread has undergone a clean up. If you noticed a post of yours missing, it was removed in the clean up. Please remember there is no debating in the Recovery Forums. The Recovery Forums are for support only. Have a great day and God bless.

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