Telling God promises

Elzic,
I believe that it's good you have been diagnosed with OCD so you can receive the right help and recover from this disease. How much have you studied on what exactly that means? I have an article that may help you to understand it better. Are you receiving counseling for OCD? I believe that you will find that with counseling you may actually be successful to lessen or become free from it.

Regarding the promises that you make to God, remember that these are based from your OCD. Because you like rules and regulations, and order and control are important to you, you have made these "promises" for you really, not God. God loves you, died for you, forgave you of your sins. When you asked him into your life and asked for forgiveness, your sins are no more. God has promises for you. Study God's word closely. When you feel the urge to make a promise to God share it with your husband and see if it is real or if it's your OCD driving you. When you feel lost, use the Bible as you would a road map. The more you know it, the better you will be at knowing what promises you want to make to the Lord and what is an unnecessary promise. God has so many promises for you. Study and know these as well. Write them down and put them where you can see them every day.

Please look into counseling for your OCD. A good counselor can assist you and if you are unable to take medication at this time, he/she can still help you learn to work through your OCD.

I will be praying for you that God's Word will guide you as you desire to live your life for Him.

Although I struggle with similar concerns, I really think you're in the clear here. You have an illness and made irrational promises. God knows you better than you know yourself. He already knows you don't want to say anything bad about him, and he certainly wouldn't want you to either. For sure he wouldn't want you to end your marriage over this!

Try picturing you are standing before him, this unimaginably awesome God, do you think he'd be angry at you for trying to conquer an illness to better the lives of you and your loved ones? I don't.

When you begin to confront these fears, it will take awhile to get used to the uncertainty of it all. Just remember God is still there with you, no matter how down you feel. Trust in his guidance and love.

Elzic said:

Thank you so much friends. I feel so guilty and evil because I did it again this morning but very seriously to ty to make it ok for me to get something I wanted and then I got something else that might have fallen under that and I feel bad. It's not even always promises but me telling God that I won't do this or that or I'm not calling Him something bad if I do things a certain way and so I worry when I don't follow through. It makes me feel like if I stay with my husband who I cherish more than anything I'm forsaking my faith and calling God something bad. I'm so stressed and I know this isn't good for my baby. I feel like i made a mistake and have been trying to fix it with counter promises but it doesn't feel better.

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I know how it is. I've been there. But you have to remember you aren't seeing things right at the moment. This illness latches onto what's most important to us and clouds our view of it. Making irrational promises has become a compulsion you perform, it is temporary relief of the anxiety that OCD is tricking you into feeling.

It is a fact that God knows us better than we know ourselves, and with that knowledge, it's clear he understands these counter promises you've made were under the influence of an illness. I don't believe God would ever hold someone accountable for that. It might seem impossible to believe right now, but nothing bad will happen as a result of ignoring those counter promises. You will likely feel intense guilt and anxiety after doing so, but that's not from God, it's from OCD. God is all about love and compassion, and these fears are only getting in the way of that. He wants you to live a happy life with your family.

I haven't fully recovered from this yet, but I have improved drastically over the past few months. Medication helped me to see things much clearer. Since you're unable to take it at the moment, maybe ask your doctor for some advice and give this a look. In the meantime, please don't be so hard on yourself. You haven't done anything wrong!

Your pattern is your OCD. That is what OCD is all about. As you get counseling and help from your husband you will begin to learn how to recognize this pattern of behavior. God is very aware of your problem. It's your guilt, fears, and repetitive needs that causes you to make these promises and then to have guilt over what you see you have done. I'm not trained in how to help you but when the urge comes to make a promise, can you stop yourself? God wants your love and obedience. There is a freedom in Christ, not bondage to promises you make. Call on the Holy Spirit to talk for you. Let him know of you love for Him, your desire to live every day for Him. Make no promises at this time. Get help from counseling and ask your husband and others who love you to learn how to remind you that many of the things you do repetitively is the OCD. Learn how to slowly begin to recognize them and how to begin stopping them.

I will continue to pray you get the help you need so you won't feel so badly. OCD will make you have irrational feelings as well. Learn how to love yourself and not what you "think" you need to do to feel something. I recognize this is easy for me to say and difficult for you to do. Please seek counsel.