Yes dear. Happy wife, happy life and other terms...

mkgal1

His perfect way sets me free. 2 Samuel 22:33
Supporter
Jun 22, 2007
27,339
7,349
California
✟551,233.00
Faith
Anglican
Marital Status
Married
Nagging is the wife sin. Again we are adults and are responsible for our actions. A husband does not cause his wife to nag, she makes that choice.
"Nagging" means to repeatedly ask another to do something.....correct? I really only recall even hearing this term coming from those that believe in a marriage structure as you've claimed you're in support of.

Where does that leave a wife that has a husband that continually takes $$ out of the bank account --that was meant for the mortgage--and uses it for gambling or personal hobbies and leaves the mortgage left unpaid for months (and no means for the wife to pay as he doesn't "allow" her to work)? What about a wife that has a home or car in need of repairs for the safety of her and her children----a leaky roof, for instance....or faulty brakes and bare tires (again....no $$ available for her to hire someone ).

That whole system will cause "nagging" ---and to put the burden on the wife, I believe, is totally unfair and condemning (it's a darned if she does/darned if she doesn't kind of situation).
 
Upvote 0

mkgal1

His perfect way sets me free. 2 Samuel 22:33
Supporter
Jun 22, 2007
27,339
7,349
California
✟551,233.00
Faith
Anglican
Marital Status
Married
Just like no husband would have to nag if his wife did what is necessary in their marriage. Wives are not the only ones who nag.
True---but it seems that most people use a different term for men doing the same (like "leadership"---and again, when that's used, it's often still on the wife if she doesn't respond immediately).
 
Upvote 0

blessedwife318

Active Member
Sep 30, 2015
73
12
✟15,263.00
Faith
Baptist
Marital Status
Married
"Nagging" means to repeatedly ask another to do something.....correct? I really only recall even hearing this term coming from those that believe in a marriage structure as you've claimed you're in support of.

Where does that leave a wife that has a husband that continually takes $$ out of the bank account --that was meant for the mortgage--and uses it for gambling or personal hobbies and leaves the mortgage left unpaid for months (and no means for the wife to pay as he doesn't "allow" her to work)? What about a wife that has a home or car in need of repairs for the safety of her and her children----a leaky roof, for instance....or faulty brakes and bare tires (again....no $$ available for her to hire someone ).

That whole system will cause "nagging" ---and to put the burden on the wife, I believe, is totally unfair and condemning (it's a darned if she does/darned if she doesn't kind of situation).

Thank you for once again showing that it's always the husband's fault. The poor wife has no choice because the man she married just is not doing what she says. Anyone can come up with any hypothetical situation they want but the Bible and its commands are the same no matter what. Peter has some advice for women with ungodly husband's and no where in there is nagging.

Again you can argue with Proverbs if you want about nagging. You can even argue with Paul and Peter if you want. It's not going to change the fact that nagging is a sinful response in the part of the women, who is responsible for her own actions. I thought your view point wanted women to be viewed as adults capable of making decisions. Apparently my non feminist view point actually thinks more of both men and women then what you have been putting forth based on even just the above post.
 
Upvote 0

mkgal1

His perfect way sets me free. 2 Samuel 22:33
Supporter
Jun 22, 2007
27,339
7,349
California
✟551,233.00
Faith
Anglican
Marital Status
Married
Thank you for once again showing that it's always the husband's fault.

I don't believe it's "always the husband's fault", but I was merely responding to your statement that "nagging" is the wife's "sin" (it's you that's not leaving any room for exceptions or understanding---or.....um......grace). I've even clarified an earlier statement by asserting that it shouldn't be expected that either spouse is going to blindly "jump" at any and all requests.

I'm not "arguing with Proverbs"----I'm in disagreement with your interpretation of Proverbs.

BTW....my examples weren't hypothetical. I personally know women that have experienced those situations (and tried their darnedest to follow the teaching of "leaving it up to God"...."don't usurp the husband's role"). The one woman that didn't get her mortgage paid ended up homeless with 6 children and eventually living in a donated mobile home with no heat in North Dakota (in the winter). She had hay bails surrounding the structure to try to make it livable. That's how a lot of women lose their faith in God (fortunately this woman didn't---she just lost faith in that teaching).
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0

blessedwife318

Active Member
Sep 30, 2015
73
12
✟15,263.00
Faith
Baptist
Marital Status
Married
Not sure how you can interpret that it's better to dwell in the desert then with a nagging wife but ok you can go with a different interpretation if you want. So far all you have done though is reinforce everything I think about how (most) feminist operate and it just makes me more of a non feminist. I'm going to continue to say that women are adults responsible for their own actions regardless of what the men around them do :)
 
Upvote 0

mkgal1

His perfect way sets me free. 2 Samuel 22:33
Supporter
Jun 22, 2007
27,339
7,349
California
✟551,233.00
Faith
Anglican
Marital Status
Married
I thought your view point wanted women to be viewed as adults capable of making decisions. Apparently my non feminist view point actually thinks more of both men and women then what you have been putting forth based on even just the above post.

I do wish for women to be viewed as adults capable of making decisions ---but that process needs to allow for the wife to be included in those decisions in order for her to be accountable. The examples I gave weren't hypothetical and didn't occur in marriages where the wife even had the choices (the finances were being controlled by the husbands---giving little to no care about the wife's requests for bills to be handled responsibly). You can't have it both ways. You're trying to compare apples and oranges, because you're using two different marital frameworks.
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0

mkgal1

His perfect way sets me free. 2 Samuel 22:33
Supporter
Jun 22, 2007
27,339
7,349
California
✟551,233.00
Faith
Anglican
Marital Status
Married
I'm going to continue to say that women are adults responsible for their own actions regardless of what the men around them do

I can easily ignore what the general "men around me" do---but it's quite different to suggest that it doesn't matter what our husbands do (that it's all easily ignored and doesn't affect us).
 
Upvote 0

blessedwife318

Active Member
Sep 30, 2015
73
12
✟15,263.00
Faith
Baptist
Marital Status
Married
I do wish for women to be viewed as adults capable of making decisions ---but those decisions need to allow for the wife to be included in those decisions in order for her to be accountable. The examples I gave weren't in marriages where the wife even had the choices (the finances were being controlled by the husbands---giving little to no care about the wife's requests for bills to be handled responsibly). You can't have it both ways. You're trying to compare apples and oranges, because you're using two different frameworks.

Not really I just think it's not always the man's fault and that women are not some helpless victim. Those are some more reasons that I'm not a feminist. Not the main reasons, but a couple of them.

What I find Ironic is that you think I'm for patriarchy when I'm not. I'm a complementarian if you must know. Although a bit a feminism (much to my chagrin) has found its way into that view point as well but I think it's the best of the major view points out there.
As I said before my job as wife is to submit to my husband's leadership. He has the much harder job of having to live me as Christ loved the church.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Hopeforday
Upvote 0

mkgal1

His perfect way sets me free. 2 Samuel 22:33
Supporter
Jun 22, 2007
27,339
7,349
California
✟551,233.00
Faith
Anglican
Marital Status
Married
Not sure how you can interpret that it's better to dwell in the desert then with a nagging wife but ok you can go with a different interpretation if you want. So far all you have done though is reinforce everything I think about how (most) feminist operate and it just makes me more of a non feminist. I'm going to continue to say that women are adults responsible for their own actions regardless of what the men around them do :)

You are using that verse in Proverbs to support your stance that a wife's "nagging" is her sin.....correct? Where does that verse say anything about sin.....or even that it's directed towards her doing anything "wrong"? It could also be taken as a simple encouragement for a husband to avoid discontentment and disunity in a marriage (as much as is dependent on him).
 
Upvote 0

mkgal1

His perfect way sets me free. 2 Samuel 22:33
Supporter
Jun 22, 2007
27,339
7,349
California
✟551,233.00
Faith
Anglican
Marital Status
Married
Not really I just think it's not always the man's fault and that women are not some helpless victim. Those are some more reasons that I'm not a feminist. Not the main reasons, but a couple of them. That's what feminists (as defined in that other thread) believe--that power/fear/threats/selfish ambtion have no place in marriages.

What I find Ironic is that you think I'm for patriarchy when I'm not. I'm a complementarian if you must know. Although a bit a feminism (much to my chagrin) has found its way into that view point as well but I think it's the best of the major view points out there.
As I said before my job as wife is to submit to my husband's leadership. He has the much harder job of having to live me as Christ loved the church.

Nor do I think it's always the man's fault or that women are always helpless victims (I know just as many men and children that have been harmed in imbalanced marriages).

But.....I did give you some examples of how women can financially have their hands tied (and men can be in the same situations---where they're being unjustly controlled and taken advantage of....it's just that I don't know of any group of people that believe that's a good structure for a marriage, where the wife is controlling legally-shared resources).

I never claimed I thought you were for "patriarchy". I think it's just a slight-of-hand to use the label of "complementairan" anyway (it's still the same structure as far as I've experienced)---especially when there's such resistance to the idea of equality.
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

blessedwife318

Active Member
Sep 30, 2015
73
12
✟15,263.00
Faith
Baptist
Marital Status
Married
You are using that verse in Proverbs to support your stance that a wife's "nagging" is her sin.....correct? Where does that verse say anything about sin.....or even that it's directed towards her doing anything "wrong"? It could also be taken as a simple encouragement for a husband to avoid discontentment and disunity in a marriage (as much as is dependent on him).
Thank you for continuing to prove my point. That's very kind of you :)
Of course this proverb is directed at men and there is nothing us helpless women can learn from it because if the man would just do what we said the first time there would be no need to nag him.

Now me I think there is a lesson here for both genders. For women its don't be a nag, no one likes it and your husband would rather be in the desert then listen to his wife nag.
For men if don't marry a women who is never content and always has something to complain about, or you'll wish you lived in the desert.
But of course I think that all adults are responsible for their own actions which makes me weird and I'm OK with that :)
 
Upvote 0

blessedwife318

Active Member
Sep 30, 2015
73
12
✟15,263.00
Faith
Baptist
Marital Status
Married
Nor do I think it's always the man's fault or that women are always helpless victims (I know just as many men and children that have been harmed in imbalanced marriages).

But.....I did give you some examples of how women can financially have their hands tied (and men can be in the same situations---where they're being unjustly controlled and taken advantage of....it's just that I don't know of any group of people that believe that's a good structure for a marriage, where the wife is controlling legally-shared resources).

I never claimed I thought you were for "patriarchy". I think it's just a slight-of-hand to use the label of "complementairan" anyway (it's still the same structure as far as I've experienced)---especially when there's such resistance to the idea of equality.

True its not equal, the man has a much harder calling then women do. One of the reasons I have so much respect for my husband because he takes his hard calling so seriously.

But then again men and women are not equal. Just look at the army standards for men vs women. Or even Olympic records for men vs women. And of course men will never have children. So I'll never understand this idea of we are all equal when we clearly are not. I can do things my husband can't and he can do things I can't. Doesn't mean I am less or more then my husband just that we are different and have different roles and callings. And again his harder then mine so I don't see why I should complain about that.
 
Upvote 0

jimmyjimmy

Pardoned Rebel
Supporter
Jan 2, 2015
11,556
5,728
USA
✟234,973.00
Country
United States
Faith
Presbyterian
Marital Status
Married
Nagging is the wife sin. Again we are adults and are responsible for our actions. A husband does not cause his wife to nag, she makes that choice.

I hate this narrative that is so prevalent in today's society that if the wife is unhappy its always the husband's fault. The he did not do everything she asked, didn't make her feel happy, didn't make her feel listened too, etc. Women are adults and responsible for their own feelings. They can be just as much the problem in a marriage as the husband.

I agree. This assumes that wives are not sinful. Some women, as we've even seen on threads on CF, are quite nasty, self-centered, insecure, etc. so to ignore that and always blame the man for any trouble in a marriage is nuts. On top of that it gives the aggressive and power-hungry wife who wants to rule her husband with an iron fist, encouragement to dive deeper into her sin.
 
Upvote 0

RedPonyDriver

Professional Pot Stirrer
Oct 18, 2014
3,524
2,427
USA
✟76,166.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Widowed
Politics
US-Democrat
I have yet to see anything saying the woman is always right here. As I said in a previous post, in marriage, check your ego at the door (both spouses).

Example:
One spouse is sort of messy. The other spouse can nag, fuss and play the martyr OR they can find a constructive way to deal with it. The messy spouse will understand that the neat spouse feels disrespected, and try to change.

Again, ego has no place in marriage...
 
  • Like
Reactions: mkgal1
Upvote 0

mkgal1

His perfect way sets me free. 2 Samuel 22:33
Supporter
Jun 22, 2007
27,339
7,349
California
✟551,233.00
Faith
Anglican
Marital Status
Married
But then again men and women are not equal. Just look at the army standards for men vs women. Or even Olympic records for men vs women. And of course men will never have children. So I'll never understand this idea of we are all equal when we clearly are not.

Equal doesn't mean the same. In fact.....that's exactly what I *don't* believe (I don't believe all men are the same as each other....nor are all women the same). We all have unique giftings......personalities......strengths/weaknesses----but we all should have equal dignity (and, in a marriage, equal voice and agency).
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

lisah

Humanist with Christian Heritage
Oct 3, 2003
1,047
90
✟15,168.00
Faith
Humanist
Marital Status
Married
Nagging is the wife sin. Again we are adults and are responsible for our actions. A husband does not cause his wife to nag, she makes that choice.

I hate this narrative that is so prevalent in today's society that if the wife is unhappy its always the husband's fault. The he did not do everything she asked, didn't make her feel happy, didn't make her feel listened too, etc. Women are adults and responsible for their own feelings. They can be just as much the problem in a marriage as the husband.

My husband nags.
 
  • Like
Reactions: RedPonyDriver
Upvote 0

ValleyGal

Well-Known Member
Dec 19, 2012
5,775
1,829
✟114,245.00
Country
Canada
Faith
Anabaptist
Marital Status
Divorced
As I said before my job as wife is to submit to my husband's leadership.
And what if he doesn't lead OR love you like Christ loves the church? What if a woman marries someone and he changes to a lazy person who will not help at home, won't get a job, spends no time with the children and wastes money on video games when that money was earmarked for the bills? Is she supposed to just "submit" to that kind of "leadership?" Or what if he becomes demanding and tells her that he is going to (insert whatever) and she can suck it up if she doesn't like it? Or what if he starts ordering around because that's his "right" as the HOH?

That whole nagging proverb, imo, says more about the husband than it does the wife... that she can nag all she wants but he does not have to listen to it. That doesn't mean she has no reason to not nag. He might be doing everything wrong with the relationship, giving her every right to nag. He can either withdraw and not listen to it, he can work on contributing more to the home or he can listen to it. Yes, it's better not not listen to it, but it is even better to examine himself to see if she has a justified reason to be nagging in the first place.

And here I will say a little about leadership. If a man wants the leadership role over his wife, then he better be prepared. After all, the buck never stops with the subordinate; it always stops with the leader. A leader is responsible for everything that goes on with those under his leadership. So if he married a nagging wife, that is HIS responsibility because the buck stops with him. That means that she can take every advantage and do any stupid thing she wants because HE is now responsible for his wife. After all, that is what a leader is. If he wants the leadership role, then he needs to be prepared to also take those leadership responsibilities that go with it - everything his wife does is his to be answerable and accountable for.
 
  • Like
Reactions: mkgal1
Upvote 0

mkgal1

His perfect way sets me free. 2 Samuel 22:33
Supporter
Jun 22, 2007
27,339
7,349
California
✟551,233.00
Faith
Anglican
Marital Status
Married
And here I will say a little about leadership. If a man wants the leadership role over his wife, then he better be prepared. After all, the buck never stops with the subordinate; it always stops with the leader. A leader is responsible for everything that goes on with those under his leadership. So if he married a nagging wife, that is HIS responsibility because the buck stops with him. That means that she can take every advantage and do any stupid thing she wants because HE is now responsible for his wife. After all, that is what a leader is.

Good point! So, in that case.....it *would* be the man is always to blame/responsible (which is what we are arguing against---but Blessed Wife also seems to be against by blaming me for placing the possibility of blame on *some* men). Again....you can't have it both ways. You can't claim the husband is the "leader" and you are the follower (with the subtle implication that your hands are neatly folded in your lap and your voice quiet), and then get upset that the man is then considered responsible for things going into a ditch.

I've heard teaching that actually instructs the wives to "let your husband make mistakes". You may get lost a lot more.....you may spend more money on things than if you "nagged him".....but it's his responsibility to lead and make those decisions". Some things aren't as easily recovered from (like children dying from not getting medical care, for instance).
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: RedPonyDriver
Upvote 0

RedPonyDriver

Professional Pot Stirrer
Oct 18, 2014
3,524
2,427
USA
✟76,166.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Widowed
Politics
US-Democrat
There are men who are just not leaders and there are women who are. Trying to force someone to be what they are not will usually end in disaster. Some men are nurturers, some women are not. Some men are emotional, some women are not. Why make generalities and trash men and women who do not fit the mold? Who really wants to live a Stepford Wife existence?
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

blessedwife318

Active Member
Sep 30, 2015
73
12
✟15,263.00
Faith
Baptist
Marital Status
Married
And what if he doesn't lead OR love you like Christ loves the church? What if a woman marries someone and he changes to a lazy person who will not help at home, won't get a job, spends no time with the children and wastes money on video games when that money was earmarked for the bills? Is she supposed to just "submit" to that kind of "leadership?" Or what if he becomes demanding and tells her that he is going to (insert whatever) and she can suck it up if she doesn't like it? Or what if he starts ordering around because that's his "right" as the HOH?
Then he will answers for his failures as the husband. The wife is still called to submit. That is her job. He is responsible for his, she is responsible for hers. Its very simple really, if you view each person as being responsible for their own role.


That whole nagging proverb, imo, says more about the husband than it does the wife... that she can nag all she wants but he does not have to listen to it. That doesn't mean she has no reason to not nag. He might be doing everything wrong with the relationship, giving her every right to nag. He can either withdraw and not listen to it, he can work on contributing more to the home or he can listen to it. Yes, it's better not not listen to it, but it is even better to examine himself to see if she has a justified reason to be nagging in the first place.

As I said earlier there is something in that Proverbs for both genders. Although I will say it speaks volumes to me about how feminism really shapes your view by what you said about this Proverb.


And here I will say a little about leadership. If a man wants the leadership role over his wife, then he better be prepared. After all, the buck never stops with the subordinate; it always stops with the leader. A leader is responsible for everything that goes on with those under his leadership. So if he married a nagging wife, that is HIS responsibility because the buck stops with him. That means that she can take every advantage and do any stupid thing she wants because HE is now responsible for his wife. After all, that is what a leader is. If he wants the leadership role, then he needs to be prepared to also take those leadership responsibilities that go with it - everything his wife does is his to be answerable and accountable for.

Something we can agree on. I have been a boss, I was a store manager before getting married. So I understand how much responsibility those in leadership have, and how they take the fall for what their subordinates do. And because I understand that my husband should answer to God for not only how he acts but how I act as well, that makes me want to submit to him even more. I love and respect him too much to want him to have to answer for my failures.
But on the flip side I cannot blame my husband for my failures. If I choose to nag at him that is on me. He may have to answer for X, but that in no way excuses me for responding with Y, or nagging.
Again your response about nagging speaks volumes to me about the influence of feminism.
 
Upvote 0