Basically, this is just another teen problem. Since the primary school, I have that friend, A, who became during the college (middle school) a kind of a best friend. She likes me a lot and I honestly liked her a lot. The problem is that I like her less and less. i don't recognize myself anymore in her. She has a very difficult family situation as her mother has a serious depression and actually hates and despises her husband. The poor man is still deeply in love with her, but she almost abuses him and always makes fun of him. She also is very disappointed of her daughter. Actually, she would have wanted her to be very beautiful, a brilliant student, and a very intelligent girl: the perfect daughter, someone who would be admired by everyone and would break many hearts. And she is not really that type of girl. The problem is that the mother looks at me as I was the daughter of her dreams. I hate when I am invited to her home for lunch: the mother always has theses unpleasant comments about me "A, look how your friend is thin! You should be like her" "A, look how your friend is a brilliant student loved by her teachers! You should be like her" "A, look how your friend won some contests! You should be like her" "A, look how your friend hangs out with very good company! You should be like her" etc etc. This is unbearable. She even said I would prefer me as her daughter rather than her real one. You can easily imagine my friend's reaction. She tries to influence myself in order to show to her mother than she is as good as me: she tries to turn me into a typical teenager, to force me to be drunk at every party, to sleep with some boys she chose for me and to take drugs. She tries to change my own nature and as I refuse it, she tells me that I am such a stuck person, that I have to live my youth. She always is in the excess. That is not me. The only discussions I can now have with her always concern sex and parties. I mean, talking about sex never bothered me, but it depends on how you consider it. I don't care about her one-night stand stories and I have enough of it. When after the New Year she called me to say she had made a mistake, that she had slept with an unknown before her ex-boyfriend's eyes, and that she was annoyed her ex had seen it, I really asked myself what I was doing with a friend like this. I can't let her down now, but I can't stand it anymore. I also can't stand her current "rebels" friends (who are what I ironically call "rebels of the forest").
Last year I liked a lot, really a lot, a very kind and awesome boy (I still like him a lot, even if he is now gone for his studies). When all my friends tried to help me, A laughed at me when I introduced him to her. A said I deserved so much better, that he was bad-looking and not sexy at all and that I shouldn't be so desperate for a boyfriend. I was actually very surprised by her reaction, as she never spoke to him or anything. She tried something I had some difficulties to forgive: as she had decided he was not good enough for me, she tried to divert him from me with an another girl. As a result, I never dated him as I believed he was interested in this girl (while he wasn't. I cried a lot because of this story)
My own friends don't understand why I don't let down my ex-best friend, but I actually can't. I have pity for her and I am one of her last links with the reason. And she still likes me a lot, she needs me, but I am definitely not sure about our friendship. With my current friends, I can do everything: shopping, parties, lunches, outings at the opera, theater, every type of musical concerts or at literary salons, movie nights, dance contests, while with her all I can do seems to be crying into her sentimental life. How can I help her to find herself again? I feel like this is my duty to help her, while all my friends say I shouldn't try to give her again her true identity. I wish she didn't have let down the religion. I wish she didn't want me to become a copy of herself. Could you please pray for her, or at least have a thought for her? And I honestly don't know what to do for her mother.
Last year I liked a lot, really a lot, a very kind and awesome boy (I still like him a lot, even if he is now gone for his studies). When all my friends tried to help me, A laughed at me when I introduced him to her. A said I deserved so much better, that he was bad-looking and not sexy at all and that I shouldn't be so desperate for a boyfriend. I was actually very surprised by her reaction, as she never spoke to him or anything. She tried something I had some difficulties to forgive: as she had decided he was not good enough for me, she tried to divert him from me with an another girl. As a result, I never dated him as I believed he was interested in this girl (while he wasn't. I cried a lot because of this story)
My own friends don't understand why I don't let down my ex-best friend, but I actually can't. I have pity for her and I am one of her last links with the reason. And she still likes me a lot, she needs me, but I am definitely not sure about our friendship. With my current friends, I can do everything: shopping, parties, lunches, outings at the opera, theater, every type of musical concerts or at literary salons, movie nights, dance contests, while with her all I can do seems to be crying into her sentimental life. How can I help her to find herself again? I feel like this is my duty to help her, while all my friends say I shouldn't try to give her again her true identity. I wish she didn't have let down the religion. I wish she didn't want me to become a copy of herself. Could you please pray for her, or at least have a thought for her? And I honestly don't know what to do for her mother.
