Absent from my heart?

dms1972 · Feb 8, 2016

I don't know if this is the right description of my mental emotional state or not, but is as if I am not all on the same page or something. There may be more to it, because of in the past going down a lot of 'philosophical' paths and how with me these seem real, whereas others could discuss or think about philosophical notions without being caught in them.

But there must be an imbalance to begin with or a heart / emotional issue below it all. But I can't really process that, as I feel so removed from myself.

Any thoughts?

Jeshu · Feb 8, 2016

Depression is very much like that, many of my good emotions disappeared over the years I was depressed and left a big gaping hole within me. However we can contribute to that black hole by agreeing with its darkness, or we can plant good emotional content into it and slowly grow good life back again, to choice is ours to make.

I say fight depression with all you got and don't let it squander your good life, no matter how detached you feel from yourself, you are still yourself, it just takes awhile before we can accept our depressed state and not long after the good life we have lost.

Please don't give up hope brother because depression can really contribute to your gold and silver of heart even if it doesn't look like that now.

A Way Out Of Depression

How can we have meaning if we don't love?
everything else is but a clinging cymbal,
a sounding gong!
...of no importance in the scheme of things,
a loving faith takes us Home to Him!
He who is love Himself!
Hide in His love!
..and love His children,
and all Creation too!
and find a way out,
of this hell hole we've been in.
His love the way out of depression.

Tempura · Feb 8, 2016

Dissociation? What's the other fancy word, depersonalisation? Quite common with depressions and some other things. "Removed from myself", like you said, is a good way to describe it. Some wander feeling like ghosts, or some can't form that certain...bond with things, including themselves, like they used to. Just a thought, I could be wrong, and I could've even understood your whole post wrong.

dms1972 · Feb 8, 2016

No you've understood fairly well. Yeah , I think dissociation, and depersonalisation are part of depression.

But also, in the modern / technological world we can become out of touch with ourselves, without even being aware of it.

A famous quote from Kierrkegard is about losing oneself without noticing, while every other loss - an arm, a leg, a wife, five pounds is bound to be noticed.

I am going to see a counsellor about it in a couple of days, would value prayers for that.

Extraneous · Feb 8, 2016

Maybe your heart is all that you have left. Do you still know right from wrong? Do you still know that Christ is our only salvation? If so then perhaps what you are missing is not a heart.

Sometimes i feel as if i am sustained only by heart. Maybe this doesn't make sense, i dont know.

dms1972 · Feb 8, 2016

Thankyou Jehsu for the poem.

dms1972 · Feb 8, 2016

Maybe your heart is all that you have left. Do you still know right from wrong? Do you still know that Christ is our only salvation? If so then perhaps what you are missing is not a heart.

Kind of , but its all intellectual - reality for me seems to be in my head - or I live up in my head quite a bit so to speak

Tempura · Feb 8, 2016

dms1972 said:
No you've understood fairly well. Yeah , I think dissociation, and depersonalisation are part of depression.

But also, in the modern / technological world we can become out of touch with ourselves, without even being aware of it.

A famous quote from Kierrkegard is about losing oneself without noticing, while every other loss - an arm, a leg, a wife, five pounds is bound to be noticed.

I am going to see a counsellor about it in a couple of days, would value prayers for that.

Yes, there are plenty of things to distract us. Sometimes it's good to go back to the basics. It doesn't mean we should throw everything we have out of the window or burn it, but search for ourselves, listen to the spirit, just in our minds, pondering, seeking. Sometimes we have to "kill" the world around us to get that peace.

For me, life is a journey. I will never be done seeking. I find it comforting, not the other way around.

Said a prayer for you. I hope God's loving guidance and truth to come your way, brother.

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Absent from my heart?

dms1972

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