I met a new friend a few years back. She was the type of friend that I had been longing for my whole life. She was my "soul mate" in a friend type of way. She grew up in a strict Christian home, with religion a huge part of her life. She slowly started getting away from that a few years before we met and was out living away from home for school (as was I).
I grew up in a family that talked about God, but Christianity was never a huge part of my life. I had began searching for God on my own once I was out of the house and feeling a void that I knew only God could fill.
This friend and I, lets call her Sarah, happened to cross paths when she was moving away from her Christian faith and I was moving towards mine. I started bringing Sarah to church with me and it seemed like she fast-tracked back to being extremely religious, perhaps because it was always a big part of her life, while I am still working on it every day, 2 years later.
We were inseparable for the entire year that we spent together away at school, and I had never been happier. She ended up dropping out of school to move back with her family after her first year, and I moved to another country to be with a man I fell in love with, who is now my fiance.
My problem: she did not agree with my decision to move in with a man before we were married. I was never brought up that way and although I didn't understand it at the time, I understand why it is wrong now. She would lecture me every time we spoke, and I knew how much it hurt her that I was going against God's wishes by living with a man before marriage. She didn't like the decisions I had made and I felt ashamed, not only for what I did to God but for what I did to her. The last time we spoke I told her that I knew how much the decisions I had made in life hurt her, and I felt like a wasn't good enough to be in her life because she was doing so well in her faith, and I didn't want to drag her down while I was working on building my faith up.
Sarah said she really appreciated the selflessness I showed her and agreed that she didn't agree with my decisions enough to still be my friend. I told her that I would text her once I was at a point in my life where I felt comfortable being back in her life.
I wonder what other Christians think about this situation. I just got engaged a few months ago, and I really want to talk to my best friend. I have been debating calling her for some time now. Do you think that I am best to just let her go and try to move on? It is a heart-breaking feeling, but I need to either be friends with her, or forget about her completely. Sometimes I think that I am doing what is best for her by not speaking to her, because I don't want to drag her down. Other times, I think maybe she is not someone I should want to be friends with anyways, because even if I was doing things she didn't agree with, or I was "dragging her down", isn't that what friends are for? Isn't that what Christians are supposed to do? To help people through their troubles, to help friends build their relationship with God, no matter how frustrating or how long it takes?
Maybe when I told her I wouldn't talk to her anymore because I didn't want to drag her down, she should have been just as good of a friend and said she would stick by me no matter how hard it got.
Should I love her or let her go?
I grew up in a family that talked about God, but Christianity was never a huge part of my life. I had began searching for God on my own once I was out of the house and feeling a void that I knew only God could fill.
This friend and I, lets call her Sarah, happened to cross paths when she was moving away from her Christian faith and I was moving towards mine. I started bringing Sarah to church with me and it seemed like she fast-tracked back to being extremely religious, perhaps because it was always a big part of her life, while I am still working on it every day, 2 years later.
We were inseparable for the entire year that we spent together away at school, and I had never been happier. She ended up dropping out of school to move back with her family after her first year, and I moved to another country to be with a man I fell in love with, who is now my fiance.
My problem: she did not agree with my decision to move in with a man before we were married. I was never brought up that way and although I didn't understand it at the time, I understand why it is wrong now. She would lecture me every time we spoke, and I knew how much it hurt her that I was going against God's wishes by living with a man before marriage. She didn't like the decisions I had made and I felt ashamed, not only for what I did to God but for what I did to her. The last time we spoke I told her that I knew how much the decisions I had made in life hurt her, and I felt like a wasn't good enough to be in her life because she was doing so well in her faith, and I didn't want to drag her down while I was working on building my faith up.
Sarah said she really appreciated the selflessness I showed her and agreed that she didn't agree with my decisions enough to still be my friend. I told her that I would text her once I was at a point in my life where I felt comfortable being back in her life.
I wonder what other Christians think about this situation. I just got engaged a few months ago, and I really want to talk to my best friend. I have been debating calling her for some time now. Do you think that I am best to just let her go and try to move on? It is a heart-breaking feeling, but I need to either be friends with her, or forget about her completely. Sometimes I think that I am doing what is best for her by not speaking to her, because I don't want to drag her down. Other times, I think maybe she is not someone I should want to be friends with anyways, because even if I was doing things she didn't agree with, or I was "dragging her down", isn't that what friends are for? Isn't that what Christians are supposed to do? To help people through their troubles, to help friends build their relationship with God, no matter how frustrating or how long it takes?
Maybe when I told her I wouldn't talk to her anymore because I didn't want to drag her down, she should have been just as good of a friend and said she would stick by me no matter how hard it got.
Should I love her or let her go?