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My mother is a hoarder/compulsive shopper and I don't know how to help

Bonnie77

Newbie
Feb 3, 2013
37
3
California
✟8,266.00
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Methodist
Marital Status
Single
My mother cannot seem to get rid of anything. My parent's large four-bedroom house is full of clutter. The main floor is cluttered but functional. But the upstairs, finished basement, guest room and one of the three garage stalls is filled with clutter. When I come home to visit I have to sleep on the couch because the beds are cover in my old room, my brother's old room and the guest room.

I visited my parents this weekend and I'm stressed out from it. There was boxes and piles of junk everywhere. My apartment is neat and tidy because I know the pain associated with growing up in a hoarded home. I don't like being around excessive clutter so this was kind of a rough weekend.

I want to help but I don't know how. My mom won't part with things and gets mad at me if I throw things away without her consent. Which in turn frustrates me. To be honest I think my mom would benefit from professional help. But I'm afraid either her or my dad would get offended if I make such a suggestion.

I feel shame when I think about growing up in that house. I never had a room to myself: it was always used for storage. I had a pathway to my bed. I rarely had friends over because my mom was embarrassed about the house. Yet she never tried to clean it up and kept shopping and bringing more stuff in.

Even as a young adult living away from home it still upsets me. For one it's a fire hazard and my parents might not make it out alive if the house were ever to catch on fire. Plus its not normal to live like that. I dread going to visit because I know what the house will be like. My spot will be on the living room couch as usual. Eventually I hope to be in a serious relationship leading to marriage. I would be mortified to have to bring a potential husband into that type of environment.

I don't know what to do. Things aren't getting any better and the house is packed more each time I see it. I try not to be negative, but the thing I resent most about my personal live is that cluttered house and growing up in that type of environment.

Thanks for your help and advice.