Hello, I've been mulling over my current situation in my head for a while now, and I'm entirely out of options. While I realize, given my relationship to religion (it practically being not thought of to begin with) may put me at a bit of a minor point when it comes to prayer, I do require...something.
I'm 22 and have recently been forced to leave behind a town I needed to keep my head on straight, my life, due to an argument within my family and my lack of income (which led to homelessness twice) has been teetering lately. This city, no reason I shouldn't mention it, because its the thing I, personally, believe(d?) in most is Kitchener, Ontario, Canada. I was forced to leave, and am now living at my mother's house, which is something I'm not able to adjust to.
Suffice it to say, that my mind, still in Kitchener, has been chaotic at best since last I was there, a woman I really do think I love is there, just as our relationship was beginning to sprout wings. Also my family, my real family, the people I CHOSE to surround myself with are all there. And now i'm forced to this deafening tranquillity. I don't know how to handle my blood relatives, my grandfather is here, sure, but he's gotten on in years and is far from the mentor I remembered growing up around. My mother keeps trying to maintain sanity, while my stepfather handles what is practical and necessary. All in all a functional family unit, but I feel so distant.
I love my blood family sure, but I need a way back, any way back to where I was. I belong there and I am frightened of what my mind is becoming while here.
While not christian myself, I would thank you for any effort, my mind and soul are in a rut and I have no idea how to get them out of it.
-Berija (A pseudonym, of course)
