Painfully obsessed and lonely

“We are not limited by our old ages; we are liberate by it” - Stu Mittleman

Neither let the son of the stranger, that hath joined himself to the Lord, speak, saying, The Lord hath utterly separated me from his people: neither let the eunuch say, Behold, I am a dry tree. - Isaiah 56:3

The bible says 'let not the eunuch say behold I am a dry tree.' That means there is hope for such a man that could not have a family. So there is hope! Maybe God is going to bring the less fortunate back in the millinial (the last thousand years after Christ's return).

"My hopes are not always realized, but I always hope. " - Ovid

I am 53 and have never been married. I have seen my grandparents and mother through the great river of death and the pain of all of this would have been a great stress had I been married. But now I have actual wealth... But now I am so close to heaven... Marriage is just not appealing. My hopes are for the millennial, the afterlife... I figure that if God created pleasure on this earth surely he is not going to have it diminished in the next. I have a friend who got married at 60 and the woman sued him for half his wealth, leaving him with large debts in his old age. Better be careful with such desires.

Father I pray blessings on this request and that you would open this gentleman's eyes to the greater things in Jesus name I pray. Also taking these needs before God in prayer on the 1:15PM bbnradio.org Family Altar program.

Praying!!!

God bless you

I am so so sorry to hear of your struggles. I have never been on a date myself, do not even my driver's license, still live at home, and struggle with suicidal thoughts and depression, so I can, perhaps if only in a small way, relate. Praying for you.

Am so sorry you are feeling so low
praying for you

hello

I am really sorry to hear your struggles

I pray God will be with you and bless you

In Jesus's name Amen

Praying ~ God bless you

praying for you

Dawood Sepahi said:

Help. I need prayer. I am 38 years old and I have never even been on a date, much less had a girlfriend. This is something that torments me to the utmost and I obsess over it. Everything I do (though I think everyone is like this....although I could be wrong) revolves around winning love from a woman. What woman, I don't know. I mean everything. From what books I read to my daily activities to my very thinking process. I feel that I am worthless, ugly, and that no woman will ever love me. I am most definitely not gay, though most people think I am because I never hang out with women (you know....because of the whole fear of rejection thing). I am insanely jealous of seeing any couple in public. I cannot overstress how obsessive and neurotic I am about this whole thing. What makes it even worse is that I think God doesn't understand. After all, the Pauline Epistles clearly imply that marriage is merely tolerated rather than positively recommended (did not St. Paul say, "...but I'd rather you be such as I am {that is, celibate}?"). And therefore God doesn't really care about this issue of mine. Not only am I extremely lonely and unfulfilled but I think I am the most worthless person on the planet because no woman loves me or values me. Furthermore, I think I am the only person on the planet that suffers from this problem. I think about suicide on a daily basis but the only thing that stops me is fear of eternal hellfire. Please pray.

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God cares but you have to decide if you want to get married or not. God will not make that decision for you. If you can not find a women in this country there are other counties available. Jesus said that a prophet is without honor in his own country. But in other countries you may have more honor with the women. It is good that you saved yourself for your wife if you should decide to get married. That is the way it is suppose to be. Hopefully you can find a girl that has saved herself for her future husband.

You sound very confused:

First you said:

Dawood Sepahi said:

Everything I do (though I think everyone is like this....although I could be wrong) revolves around winning love from a woman.

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Then:

Dawood Sepahi said:

Furthermore, I think I am the only person on the planet that suffers from this problem.

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The Bible says:

"He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD." Proverbs: 18:22

Apostle Paul did say it was better not to be married but read the second part of that passage:

7 "For I wish that all men were even as I myself. >But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that" 1 Corinthians 7:7

The most important thing is: your salvation; as:

Jesus said: "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." Matthew 6:33

God bless in Jesus name.

31 And the Lord said, Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat:
32 But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren. - Luke 22

Lord, I pray that you will open the eyes of this man's heart that he will see and understand how much you love him, and find his worth and value in you. Please Lord, bring his focus to you, his loving Father, and deliver him from suicidal thoughts, loneliness, and the pain that this situation has been causing him. In Jesus name, Amen.

Dawood Sepahi said:

Help. I need prayer. I am 38 years old and I have never even been on a date, much less had a girlfriend. This is something that torments me to the utmost and I obsess over it. Everything I do (though I think everyone is like this....although I could be wrong) revolves around winning love from a woman. What woman, I don't know. I mean everything. From what books I read to my daily activities to my very thinking process. I feel that I am worthless, ugly, and that no woman will ever love me. I am most definitely not gay, though most people think I am because I never hang out with women (you know....because of the whole fear of rejection thing). I am insanely jealous of seeing any couple in public. I cannot overstress how obsessive and neurotic I am about this whole thing. What makes it even worse is that I think God doesn't understand. After all, the Pauline Epistles clearly imply that marriage is merely tolerated rather than positively recommended (did not St. Paul say, "...but I'd rather you be such as I am {that is, celibate}?"). And therefore God doesn't really care about this issue of mine. Not only am I extremely lonely and unfulfilled but I think I am the most worthless person on the planet because no woman loves me or values me. Furthermore, I think I am the only person on the planet that suffers from this problem. I think about suicide on a daily basis but the only thing that stops me is fear of eternal hellfire. Please pray.

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Hello brother,

I will lift you up in prayer but I also wanted to comment on a couple of things you said. It is not true that God doesn't understand or care about your problem. God created marriage and blessed it in Genesis 1:26-28. Marriage is Gods idea and the scripture testifies that He hates divorce. Look at what the proverbs say:

Proverbs 18:22

He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD

The enemy has been lying to you and twisting Gods word so that you are cut off from the help that you need from the Lord. Paul wished we could have his gift of singleness so we could have more time to be devoted to the Lord, but it doesn't mean God is "tolerating" marriage. God created the institution of marriage and everything He creates is good.

God knows you better than you know yourself, so why do you think God doesn't understand? You are frankly believing many things about yourself and God which do not line up with His word, which means your main problem isn't lust but unbelief. You need to stand on Gods word because that is the foundation for your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual well being. The just shall live by faith. If you believed the scripture which tells us that we have value to God, since we are His children, and that He cares about and understands your problems, you wouldn't feel so burdened. You have to entrust this issue to the Lord and believe that He will line you up with the right person at the right time, if it is His will for you to get married.

You are letting lust run your life which is why you are miserable; sin is a harsh taskmaster. If it is driving you even to the point of wanting to kill yourself, you know that you need to make a 180 and get this under control. It's a stronghold and the strongman needs to be evicted. Do you go to a church? I would talk to the Pastor and ask for some counseling on this. You are under attack by the devil and you need to learn how to stand up to him in Christ. I'll be praying, God bless

Dawood Sepahi said:

Well, I'm not a very good Christian. In fact, it could be very cogently argued that I'm not a Christian at all. Quite frankly, these are things that are far more important to me than my salvation. And why is is that men who go around fornication are far happier than I. Presumably, the Christian system of ethics is based on the premise that following it is more conducive to human happiness. But considering what I just said about the whole fornication business, I have my doubts about the veracity of Christian accounts of ontology or ethics.

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First of all brother, I'm sorry that you are struggling.

Second of all, I can assure that going around and fornicating will not solve your feeling of loneliness but rather strengthen it. Before my Jesus blessed me with my Christian wife, I had various girlfriends and I lived a not so very Christlike life but despite the fact I was with somebody that wasn't right for me or shared my belief in God gave me a true sense of being alone.

At a turning point in my life, I decided that I would never date someone and that I would put my entire trust in God to find me that special Christian woman and unless that wasn't in His plan for me, then I prayed that He would remove my longing for a soulmate.

To make a long story short, it didn't take very long before God introduced my queen into my life.

So my humble suggestion to you is to leave it all in His hands because He is the Best Knower and Planner. If it isn't in His plan for you to get married, than ask Him to remove that desire and give you the strength you need. But I'm pretty sure that He has someone in store for you.

God bless!

Dawood Sepahi said:

Well, I'm not a very good Christian. In fact, it could be very cogently argued that I'm not a Christian at all. Quite frankly, these are things that are far more important to me than my salvation. And why is is that men who go around fornication are far happier than I. Presumably, the Christian system of ethics is based on the premise that following it is more conducive to human happiness. But considering what I just said about the whole fornication business, I have my doubts about the veracity of Christian accounts of ontology or ethics.

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If there is anything in your life more important than your salvation, I would doubt whether you are converted or not. The Christian system of ethics is not geared towards mens happiness, it is geared towards bringing God glory. Self becomes subordinate to the Lordship of Jesus Christ, and that is where true happiness and peace reside. Self is still ruling on the throne of your heart and it hasn't been humbled, and you seem to have no awareness of the gravity of your sin. The purpose of our lives is not to please ourselves, but to please God. The Christian life is permeated with self-denial, and going against the grain of what our flesh wants so that we can mature spiritually and be closer to God and Christ. This is the gospel of Jesus Christ:

You, like all men, have sinned against a holy God. Romans 3:23
Because of your sin, you have an eternal death sentence hanging over your head. Romans 6:23 A
However, God loves you and doesn't you to die in your sin, so He sent a Savior. John 3:16
Jesus Christ paid the penalty for your sins. 1 Corinthians 15:3
Now, God wants you to repent of your sins and believe the gospel. Mark 1:15
When you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. Romans 10:9-11

When you say Jesus is Lord, aren't you just paying Him lip service? You are afraid to go to hell but if you don't submit your life to Him you will go to hell. How is that not the most important thing to you? Esau sold his birthright for a bowl of soup, and you are willing to sell yours for a night of passion. You have to get your priorities straight and when you do, God will help you with your lust. He can't help you when you are living in open rebellion against Him.