Jealous of everyone

grandvizier1006 · Nov 16, 2015

in middle and high school, I used to think of everyone as being beneath me. Now It seems like they're all above me. They all seem to have better lives, more friends, an easier time making friends, a brighter future, more successful career options, etc. I just feel like a kid among all of these college students that they just tolerate. How do I let go of all of this jealousy?

Gordon Wright · Nov 17, 2015

Figure out why you're not successful and fix that. The envy will then evaporate. The pride will also be helped when your self esteem is put on a more empirical footing.

The trouble with comparing ourselves to others is we don't all start at the same place. It's not a proper race if there's no starting line. What counts is making progress in the right direction.

grandvizier1006 · Nov 17, 2015

I guess a big problem I have is this mindset that the grass is always greener on the other side.

turkle · Nov 17, 2015

grandvizier1006 said:
in middle and high school, I used to think of everyone as being beneath me. Now It seems like they're all above me. They all seem to have better lives, more friends, an easier time making friends, a brighter future, more successful career options, etc. I just feel like a kid among all of these college students that they just tolerate. How do I let go of all of this jealousy?

By recognizing for what it is -- SIN. The sin of pride causes us to compare ourselves to others and rank ourselves according to our own standards, not God's.

My husband said something last week that was so profound: "It is a every bit as much of a sin when I beat myself up for my failures as when I take all the credit for my successes. My job is to be obedient to God's directives in prayer, and to glorify Him in it all." Very, very wise words from a very wise man.

The feelings and thoughts don't just go away. You have to intentionally take those jealous thoughts captive (2 Cor 10.5) and make it obedient to Christ.

What you are feeling is natural, but Jesus calls us to a higher standard as his bride. So when you start having jealous thoughts, immediately ask for forgiveness and repent (which means to turn the other direction).

Psalm 51.17: My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise.

1watchman · Nov 17, 2015

Yes, the "grass" does often seem greener elsewhere, as the cow said. Don't yield to such tempting by the enemy of our souls, which is his snare to lead one into ruin. As to success in life, two things might be important for you: get some skill training in a sound field for worldly success, and put the Lord Jesus first in your life and honor Him in ALL things you say or do or think. Don't compare yourself to others so much, but be in conformity to God to please Him ---then you will do well.

gerbilwoman · Nov 17, 2015

Try to remember, they may be fighting battles you know nothing about.

Jaxxi · Nov 17, 2015

grandvizier1006 said:
in middle and high school, I used to think of everyone as being beneath me. Now It seems like they're all above me. They all seem to have better lives, more friends, an easier time making friends, a brighter future, more successful career options, etc. I just feel like a kid among all of these college students that they just tolerate. How do I let go of all of this jealousy?

You focus on yourself and what you want to accomplish and forget about what everyone else Is doing. You stop comparing yourself to them. I had a bright future ahead of me and I was raped. I got pregnant from it and went against all the advice I got..and I kept the baby. I traded a career to raise this child and I'm on welfare, struggle hard as I don't have family to help me, and I live in a tiny trailer with no car. Compared to my college friends I'm a failure- a total disgrace. Ask my son what he's got and he will tell you the best Mom in the world. I'm not, but to him I am everything and that means so much to me. I stopped judging myself next to everyone else because their idea of success and mine are different...and I wouldn't change a thing. Sure it's a struggle and I wish I had more but I've got what matters most and though he was born out of wedlock the fact that the year he was born his birthday fell on Easter. That's when I knew I did the right thing.

grandvizier1006 · Nov 18, 2015

Jaxxi said:
You focus on yourself and what you want to accomplish and forget about what everyone else Is doing. You stop comparing yourself to them. I had a bright future ahead of me and I was raped. I got pregnant from it and went against all the advice I got..and I kept the baby. I traded a career to raise this child and I'm on welfare, struggle hard as I don't have family to help me, and I live in a tiny trailer with no car. Compared to my college friends I'm a failure- a total disgrace. Ask my son what he's got and he will tell you the best Mom in the world. I'm not, but to him I am everything and that means so much to me. I stopped judging myself next to everyone else because their idea of success and mine are different...and I wouldn't change a thing. Sure it's a struggle and I wish I had more but I've got what matters most and though he was born out of wedlock the fact that the year he was born his birthday fell on Easter. That's when I knew I did the right thing.

Wow. What I've gone through is nothing compared to that. Thank you for your inspiring testimony.

zippy2 · Nov 18, 2015

Jaxxi said:
You focus on yourself and what you want to accomplish and forget about what everyone else Is doing. You stop comparing yourself to them. I had a bright future ahead of me and I was raped. I got pregnant from it and went against all the advice I got..and I kept the baby. I traded a career to raise this child and I'm on welfare, struggle hard as I don't have family to help me, and I live in a tiny trailer with no car. Compared to my college friends I'm a failure- a total disgrace. Ask my son what he's got and he will tell you the best Mom in the world. I'm not, but to him I am everything and that means so much to me. I stopped judging myself next to everyone else because their idea of success and mine are different...and I wouldn't change a thing. Sure it's a struggle and I wish I had more but I've got what matters most and though he was born out of wedlock the fact that the year he was born his birthday fell on Easter. That's when I knew I did the right thing.

Dear Jaxxi,

Wow what a testimony! Dear you are an inspiration to us all. You did the RIGHT THING and I know your son must be a precious blessing to you. God will bless you more and more. Have faith because He knows your needs and He knows you are one of the good ones! Happy Thanksgiving dear sister and to your son also.

Gordon Wright · Nov 18, 2015

gerbilgirl said:
Try to remember, they may be fighting battles you know nothing about.

...which raises further questions. Why so little trust that they need to hide these struggles? Is it something wrong with the culture? Judgmentalism?

grandvizier1006 · Nov 19, 2015

Gordon Wright said:
...which raises further questions. Why so little trust that they need to hide these struggles? Is it something wrong with the culture? Judgmentalism?

The problem is that people just won't open up about their issues, understandably. But I can't really hide my problems or discontent as well as other people.

Jaxxi · Nov 21, 2015

grandvizier1006 said:
Wow. What I've gone through is nothing compared to that. Thank you for your inspiring testimony.

Oh sure it is! Don't consider your hardships any less challenging as someone else's! What you have endured is just as trying and devastating as what I experienced you know why? Because our experiences made us feel the same. We both felt similar emotions and those are emotions we are not comfortable having so we cope with them the best we can...and guess what? We are survivors . Once we get past being a victim we become a survivor and we can share our story with others and begin to heal. And don't think that there isn't someone out there wanting to end their life that wouldn't benefit from hearing your story because there is. Don't be so hard on yourself. God only created one of you and you are perfect in His eyes. Beautiful.

grandvizier1006 · Nov 26, 2015

Thank you all. Did you ever have those thoughts where you felt like life would be better for you if you were born somewhere else? Most people, I'm sure, think of it in the sense that they'd be safer, live longer, etc., but I think of it differently.

I feel like if I had been born in some place like Europe--namely Sweden or France or Germany, or some country with a lot of atheists--I'd be happy. My way of thinking is that in he time I would have discovered the Internet I never would have had to worry about seeing and dealing with non-Christian points of view because I would have been raised to agree with them. I think the idea of being "born atheist" is ridiculous, but what I'm saying is that I feel like a lot of the resentment I have towards non-Christians for supposedly having better lives wouldn't be there if I wasn't raised in a heavily Christian culture. Of course, I could just end up being jealous of people for other reasons.

Jaxxi · Nov 26, 2015

grandvizier1006 said:
Thank you all. Did you ever have those thoughts where you felt like life would be better for you if you were born somewhere else? Most people, I'm sure, think of it in the sense that they'd be safer, live longer, etc., but I think of it differently.

I feel like if I had been born in some place like Europe--namely Sweden or France or Germany, or some country with a lot of atheists--I'd be happy. My way of thinking is that in he time I would have discovered the Internet I never would have had to worry about seeing and dealing with non-Christian points of view because I would have been raised to agree with them. I think the idea of being "born atheist" is ridiculous, but what I'm saying is that I feel like a lot of the resentment I have towards non-Christians for supposedly having better lives wouldn't be there if I wasn't raised in a heavily Christian culture. Of course, I could just end up being jealous of people for other reasons.

The grass is greener on the other side and always will be honey....you know why? ITS A MIRAGE!! Why would you be jealous of any non Christian for their material goods which are part of the facade? What matters in life is the things you CAN take with you in the end...your memories, your feelings, your intelligence, your intuition, and your SOUL. You don't think atheists will be judged for knowing better but turning away? They don't know better? Take ANY atheist and put him on a street corner. 2 cars collide right in front of him. People are bleeding and screaming....what are the first words out of his mouth? Tell him his child has been in a bad accident.....what does he say?

"Oh my God" .....He speaks to the Lord. It's not from habit or culture or anything other than instinct. This life is so short and temporary...eternity is forever. Turn your jealousy into admiration and inspiration to achieve for yourself. Don't ever regret being a Christian....it makes me wonder if for material wealth you would deny the Lord...would you?

grandvizier1006 · Nov 26, 2015

Jaxxi said:
The grass is greener on the other side and always will be honey....you know why? ITS A MIRAGE!! Why would you be jealous of any non Christian for their material goods which are part of the facade? What matters in life is the things you CAN take with you in the end...your memories, your feelings, your intelligence, your intuition, and your SOUL. You don't think atheists will be judged for knowing better but turning away? They don't know better? Take ANY atheist and put him on a street corner. 2 cars collide right in front of him. People are bleeding and screaming....what are the first words out of his mouth? Tell him his child has been in a bad accident.....what does he say?

"Oh my God" .....He speaks to the Lord. It's not from habit or culture or anything other than instinct. This life is so short and temporary...eternity is forever. Turn your jealousy into admiration and inspiration to achieve for yourself. Don't ever regret being a Christian....it makes me wonder if for material wealth you would deny the Lord...would you?

Thank you.

It's not so much about material wealth as it is just mental stability. The idea being that if I was an atheist I would never have to confront beleifs that challenge me, or if I did I'd be better suited because I was on the side of the culture and therefore had nothing to worry about.

Jaxxi · Nov 26, 2015

grandvizier1006 said:
Thank you.

It's not so much about material wealth as it is just mental stability. The idea being that if I was an atheist I would never have to confront beleifs that challenge me, or if I did I'd be better suited because I was on the side of the culture and therefore had nothing to worry about.

How is that possible when Thes.2 1:9 says "He will punish those who do not know God and do not obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ.They will be punished with everlasting destruction and shut out from the presence of the Lord and majesty of His power..." What is there to be jealous of? Be thankful that you know the truth. What have you to fear?

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