Hello I am new here and I am really in need of advise. I thank you for any help that you can give me with this problem.
As the tittle states I have been struggling with inappropriate content addiction for years now and I sometimes cant stand myself, also this is compounded by the fact I have OCD issues with it. As in I hate looking at inappropriate content but feel compelled to do so and hate it while doing it. I pray right after words and ask for forgiveness and help. I often can go about a week or so then I will have a break down and look at inappropriate content and the cycle continues.
The really bad thing is with the OCD side of things, I feel so bad but yet my brain finds ways to almost talk myself into doing it when I try to quit. For instance (please don't make fun) the last time I tried to stop viewing inappropriate content and masturbating I had the horrible thought come into my head that if I stopped right then and there it could be a sign of me trying to be better than God by not needing him and that I could over come sin myself, so therefore to not do that I had to commit the sin of viewing inappropriate content and masturbating to say that yes I am broken and yes I need Jesus.
I know that it sounds crazy but I am at a loss for words now. After this happened I prayed again for forgiveness. Now I am upset with myself that I talked myself into committing the act when I should have ran from it.
I am worried about my salvation and need reassurance and guidance. Please if anyone knows what I am going through please help.
As the tittle states I have been struggling with inappropriate content addiction for years now and I sometimes cant stand myself, also this is compounded by the fact I have OCD issues with it. As in I hate looking at inappropriate content but feel compelled to do so and hate it while doing it. I pray right after words and ask for forgiveness and help. I often can go about a week or so then I will have a break down and look at inappropriate content and the cycle continues.
The really bad thing is with the OCD side of things, I feel so bad but yet my brain finds ways to almost talk myself into doing it when I try to quit. For instance (please don't make fun) the last time I tried to stop viewing inappropriate content and masturbating I had the horrible thought come into my head that if I stopped right then and there it could be a sign of me trying to be better than God by not needing him and that I could over come sin myself, so therefore to not do that I had to commit the sin of viewing inappropriate content and masturbating to say that yes I am broken and yes I need Jesus.
I know that it sounds crazy but I am at a loss for words now. After this happened I prayed again for forgiveness. Now I am upset with myself that I talked myself into committing the act when I should have ran from it.
I am worried about my salvation and need reassurance and guidance. Please if anyone knows what I am going through please help.