Rules after highschool

well 16 in the states is still a minor, have her try to understand that.
I'm 29 and I still prefer to travel with friends or in a trusted group.

Why can she not help? That should not be an option. Explain gently but firmly what is expected of her. Think of some possible and enforceable consequences should she object and protest,

John
NZ

Regardless of her age, if she is staying with you in your home, she does need to abide by your rules.

16 is pretty young for college, but is she emancipated or is she still your minor child with all the standard stuff that goes with it?

Maybe giving her a territory would help -- like saying she is in charge of all breakfasts, "Now that she is adult." Let her take total charge of something, showing you trust her with it. (Even if that's a mess.)

The people living in dorms still need to do their own laundry, so she can take that on.

As a 16 year old who still is in high school, I'd say that as long as she lives in your house SOME rules and consequences should still be in play. The older a child is, and the more advanced in life (and entering college certainly counts), the more lax and reasonable the rules should be. But basic things like respect, picking up after themselves, helping out around the house, not doing DANGEROUS things.....those should still be in play. If she doesn't like that then she can move out.

I would add, make sure you are not rude to her back. A kind word turns away wrath...
Gentleness, good manners, and a written list of expectations may go far in this situation.......

P. Gilles said:

I would add, make sure you are not rude to her back. A kind word turns away wrath...
Gentleness, good manners, and a written list of expectations may go far in this situation.......

Click to expand...

I think this is a great post. I agree.