Roommate insults my faith

Jack Scott

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Hi everyone, so I've got a bit of a problem. My roommate is a bit of an atheist. This normally wouldn't be a problem for me, because I consider myself a fairly decent and respectable person. He's a nice guy, but he blatantly insults my beliefs even when I'm right in front of him. I try my best to shift the topic away from religion, but it doesn't seem to be working. ~STAFF EDIT~ It's worth noting that he was separated from his apparently uncaring mom at a young age, and has a father who I've confirmed (through a snapchat he sent me), does pot. When the topic isn't religion, he's really a decent guy to talk to. I'm not on this forum because I'm hoping to convert him or anything (not at the moment at least), I just don't think it's a fairly unreasonable request to respect the beliefs of someone. I have every respect to be courteous of what he believes, he just doesn't seem to want to return that.
 
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lupusFati

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I think you should stop trying to be 'right', and ask him his views on the 2nd Amendment (if you are American, at least).

At the very least, you could point out that because he has a bias, he has no right to make such a judgment.

Best case scenario, refuse to discuss religion with him, ever. If your beliefs allow that, anyway.
 
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grandvizier1006

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Try and convince hi. That you're a decent person. It might take time, and chances are he might dislike Christians because his parents claimed to be ones once but then were cruel to him, or because he has some deep-seated jealousy. As a person that is lstruggling with the sin of holding hateful thoughts and outright bigotry, I can attest that about 75% of the groups and types of people I hate are ones I've never met. why do I hate them? Because I'm jealous of them and think that everyone who is the opposite of me in terms of beliefs has a happy life. But it's clear from your roommate that that isn't true. Try and let hi know you're willing to be his friend, I think he would appreciate that. :)
 
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TravelerFarAwayFromHome

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Hi everyone, so I've got a bit of a problem. My roommate is a bit of an atheist. This normally wouldn't be a problem for me, because I consider myself a fairly decent and respectable person. He's a nice guy, but he blatantly insults my beliefs even when I'm right in front of him. I try my best to shift the topic away from religion, but it doesn't seem to be working. Just tonight, he said "I'm OK with Jews, but any Christian who is that f**king brainwashed should definitely be killed." It's worth noting that he was separated from his apparently uncaring mom at a young age, and has a father who I've confirmed (through a snapchat he sent me), does pot. When the topic isn't religion, he's really a decent guy to talk to. I'm not on this forum because I'm hoping to convert him or anything (not at the moment at least), I just don't think it's a fairly unreasonable request to respect the beliefs of someone. I have every respect to be courteous of what he believes, he just doesn't seem to want to return that.

well, first, pray for him

secondly, there has to be a reason that he feel that way about Christianity. you being his roommate means you are actually in a good position to witness to him through the way you live out Christ everyday.

it is not about converting him, rather it is about being salt of the earth, which we all should be doing right?

and I am not sure God did not place you two together by accident?

thirdly, on a practical level, you guys are roommate, getting into conflict could potentially get out of hand, so you might want to pray about it to see what is the best to handle the situation.
 
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heatedmonk

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Hi everyone, so I've got a bit of a problem. My roommate is a bit of an atheist. This normally wouldn't be a problem for me, because I consider myself a fairly decent and respectable person. He's a nice guy, but he blatantly insults my beliefs even when I'm right in front of him. I try my best to shift the topic away from religion, but it doesn't seem to be working. Just tonight, he said "I'm OK with Jews, but any Christian who is that f**king brainwashed should definitely be killed." It's worth noting that he was separated from his apparently uncaring mom at a young age, and has a father who I've confirmed (through a snapchat he sent me), does pot. When the topic isn't religion, he's really a decent guy to talk to. I'm not on this forum because I'm hoping to convert him or anything (not at the moment at least), I just don't think it's a fairly unreasonable request to respect the beliefs of someone. I have every respect to be courteous of what he believes, he just doesn't seem to want to return that.

Nice guys don't say you should be killed! Since you're a Christian and he's made such remarks, consider that your being courteous is what spurs him on to verbally assault you.
Are you primary on the lease in the property you share? Is he on the lease? Or rental agreement?
 
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Steven Y

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It isn't easy living around people who disapprove of who you are. Being a Christian isn't always easy as we know. But that certainly does not mean it is not worth it. In facing times like this there are always several decisions we can make. We can try being kind and honest letting people know how we feel by sharing how what they say hurts. But honesty like that can be very difficult because when putting ourselves past our comfort zone it is easy to be hurt. Another is calling them out on what they are doing and being forceful. This is turning what they are doing into an attack and when we respond in this way we are flipping it back on them. No matter the choice it does not change who they are only who we are.

The scriptures are full of times when we are told to turn the other cheek. While this is not easy it can become easier as we let Christ take the pain, hurt, and affliction from us. In the Book of Isaiah Chapter 53 verses 3-5 it talks about how our Savior and Redeemer suffered for us. He did not just take the sins that we repent of but also the pain and anguish of everyday life. This atoning sacrifice covered so much, every little bit of hurt or pain, emotional, spiritual, physical, and mental. The charity and love that he has for us is never ending. This sacrifice or Atonement is there so that we might overcome and grow. There is a verse of Scripture in the Book of Mormon that explains that we each have weaknesses. That these weaknesses are to help us turn to God, in other words repent or change. Then we are given the promise that when we turn to God he will help us make our weaknesses our strengths. That is why it is so important to occasionally put up with and listen to the harsh things we hear in the world around us.

Christ shares how important it is to care about others when he said, "Bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you." As we do this our love will increase toward those who irk us the most in life. The more we serve others the more we grow to understand why God loves them and we can see that we each have magnificent potential.
 
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seashale76

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Just tonight, he said "I'm OK with Jews, but any Christian who is that f**king brainwashed should definitely be killed."
Calmly hand him a knife and tell him to have at it. Then, I would refuse to talk about religion with this guy after this. Pray for him (and don't let him know you're doing it). Prayer should be the first resort and the last resort. It's difficult to be in that position.
 
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TravelerFarAwayFromHome

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Calmly hand him a knife and tell him to have at it. Then, I would refuse to talk about religion with this guy after this. Pray for him (and don't let him know you're doing it). Prayer should be the first resort and the last resort. It's difficult to be in that position.

nice.
 
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heatedmonk

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Calmly hand him a knife and tell him to have at it. Then, I would refuse to talk about religion with this guy after this. Pray for him (and don't let him know you're doing it). Prayer should be the first resort and the last resort. It's difficult to be in that position.
I would add, if Jack does decide to follow your advice, that he do so when his roommate is not under the influence of anything.
Alcohol retards inhibitions, and it could be perilous for Jack. Someone who lives with a Christian and goes into speeching as to how much they hate Christians, while speaking of killing them, is not someone who is fully stable. When under the influence that condition is exacerbated.

Personally, I wouldn't continue to live with someone who in as much implied they'd like to see me dead because I'm Christian.
In fact, and the reason for my initial inquiry, if I was primary signer on the lease I'd have a sit down with the house manager or apartment manager and explain my situation. And ask them how I can get my roommate not only out of the property but change the locks for security reasons and my personal safety as well.

Someone who believes I should be dead because of the faith I hold, when they avow there is no such thing as God for me to believe in, is dangerous. First and foremost. Forewarned and all that. I would pray for my protection. I would pray I survive till they're out of my life. But I honestly can say, I wouldn't pray for them.

God knows his own. If that man is meant to feel God's presence God has that power to reach him. HE doesn't require my bringing an atheist to his attention. But I would feel I require God's protection while living in the presence of an atheist with murderous intent toward Christians.

Just my thoughts. *I'd also have a inner dead bolt installed on my bedroom door that was not accessible from the outside. With the managers awareness due to my circumstances also. And in fact, I'd go to the police after I got this guy out of my residence and have an order or protection filed against him. This way if one day he ties one on and decides to come for payback I can put him in a place that has chaplains who may counsel him as to the error of his ways. While he serves time in a cage and my body doesn't spend eternity in a coffin because an atheist thought that the best place for all Christians to be.

I once knew a man who was a violent schizophrenic individual. And a former Navy seal. It seemed as if it ran in the family because his sister was afflicted as well. I was there when his explosive rage , as a man who was 6'4" and as I said a former Navy seal, threatened to assault a woman who was under 5'5". I don't ever dismiss the potential of someone who makes the remark they believe anyone, Christian or other, should be killed.
That's the kind of thing that even when it erupts out of someone's mouth when they're under the influence is there under the surface already. And the chemical alteration afforded by alcohol or drugs just lets it come out.
Those type people are the one's who make headlines later on. And those who survive and have to deal with the aftermath are heard saying; I never knew.He/She had made threats before but I just thought it was the alcohol, drugs, anger, whatever the case, talking.

No, people who want you dead at any time are not nice guys.
Get him out! Or get out yourself. While you're still alive and in one piece to pack.

An atheist that hates Christians. Think about that for a minute. I hate you because you first believe in something that doesn't exist.
 
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JCFantasy23

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Some atheists are like that - I have some friends who can't resist jabbing beliefs or getting almost angry seeming sometimes, at least with my experience in conversation with friends who are non-believers. I just ignore it best as I can - if they keep at it, I have to tell them they're being rude and to knock it off.
 
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Jesus' Follower

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We live in a world of religious freedom and we should not be patronized because of our faith.
Your roommate clearly has an issue and I would advise you to pray for him; yes I said pray...pray that God shows him the light and what he could attain from faith in God; do not try to convince him too much; people like that will generally get very angry and argumentative.
I will pray for your roommate and for you.
 
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Steven Wood

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Hi everyone, so I've got a bit of a problem. My roommate is a bit of an atheist. This normally wouldn't be a problem for me, because I consider myself a fairly decent and respectable person. He's a nice guy, but he blatantly insults my beliefs even when I'm right in front of him. I try my best to shift the topic away from religion, but it doesn't seem to be working. ~STAFF EDIT~ It's worth noting that he was separated from his apparently uncaring mom at a young age, and has a father who I've confirmed (through a snapchat he sent me), does pot. When the topic isn't religion, he's really a decent guy to talk to. I'm not on this forum because I'm hoping to convert him or anything (not at the moment at least), I just don't think it's a fairly unreasonable request to respect the beliefs of someone. I have every respect to be courteous of what he believes, he just doesn't seem to want to return that.
If you have peace and joy in something and others do not they're going to try their best to take it away from you. JESUS tells us (in my words not his) to put on our happy face and put our best foot forward. If you get angry or blow up at your roommate what is that going to show them about your faith and that of Christianity as a whole and even more what will it do to possibly, eventually bring them to Christ? Even More So, I'm not one to bring up my faith let alone beat someone over the head with it but we don't hide our light. I know it's hard, trust me but we were told that the world will hate us. Just make sure you love and have compassion for them, it sounds like they didn't have the best of times.
 
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Steven Wood

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I would add, if Jack does decide to follow your advice, that he do so when his roommate is not under the influence of anything.
Alcohol retards inhibitions, and it could be perilous for Jack. Someone who lives with a Christian and goes into speeching as to how much they hate Christians, while speaking of killing them, is not someone who is fully stable. When under the influence that condition is exacerbated.

Personally, I wouldn't continue to live with someone who in as much implied they'd like to see me dead because I'm Christian.
In fact, and the reason for my initial inquiry, if I was primary signer on the lease I'd have a sit down with the house manager or apartment manager and explain my situation. And ask them how I can get my roommate not only out of the property but change the locks for security reasons and my personal safety as well.

Someone who believes I should be dead because of the faith I hold, when they avow there is no such thing as God for me to believe in, is dangerous. First and foremost. Forewarned and all that. I would pray for my protection. I would pray I survive till they're out of my life. But I honestly can say, I wouldn't pray for them.

God knows his own. If that man is meant to feel God's presence God has that power to reach him. HE doesn't require my bringing an atheist to his attention. But I would feel I require God's protection while living in the presence of an atheist with murderous intent toward Christians.

Just my thoughts. *I'd also have a inner dead bolt installed on my bedroom door that was not accessible from the outside. With the managers awareness due to my circumstances also. And in fact, I'd go to the police after I got this guy out of my residence and have an order or protection filed against him. This way if one day he ties one on and decides to come for payback I can put him in a place that has chaplains who may counsel him as to the error of his ways. While he serves time in a cage and my body doesn't spend eternity in a coffin because an atheist thought that the best place for all Christians to be.

I once knew a man who was a violent schizophrenic individual. And a former Navy seal. It seemed as if it ran in the family because his sister was afflicted as well. I was there when his explosive rage , as a man who was 6'4" and as I said a former Navy seal, threatened to assault a woman who was under 5'5". I don't ever dismiss the potential of someone who makes the remark they believe anyone, Christian or other, should be killed.
That's the kind of thing that even when it erupts out of someone's mouth when they're under the influence is there under the surface already. And the chemical alteration afforded by alcohol or drugs just lets it come out.
Those type people are the one's who make headlines later on. And those who survive and have to deal with the aftermath are heard saying; I never knew.He/She had made threats before but I just thought it was the alcohol, drugs, anger, whatever the case, talking.

No, people who want you dead at any time are not nice guys.
Get him out! Or get out yourself. While you're still alive and in one piece to pack.

An atheist that hates Christians. Think about that for a minute. I hate you because you first believe in something that doesn't exist.
I wish I could say that I were free of pride but I still have a get a healthy dose of righteous anger when people speak of killing Christians. I know I'd be asking forgiveness but I know myself. I'd be telling them that my God is bigger than teir nothing so if they ever felt froggy they could jump
 
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Kate94

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It's my experience that atheists are usually anti-Christian or against whatever religion they might have been brought up as, like say Islam. It is itself a belief system, but most refuse to acknowledge that. Agnosticism is a faithless state, not atheism. I think people like your roommate need therapy to work through the issues they have that make them so intolerant of Christianity, especially when, as he said, he has no problem with other theistic religions, like Judaism.
 
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sunsurfkdt

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Hmmmm I think you shoulda picked a diff roomie...especially if you're hardcore . because, it could get ugly. I mean, what if he brings women to spend the night, etc? Do you want that in your home? You're paying half the rent...that should mean you should get peace. I don't know..it def wouldn't work for me!
 
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sunsurfkdt

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Also, if he cusses a lot...what if you inadvertantly pick some of it up?!?? It's not a wise thing to be around one so much ...I mean it is and it isn't. I mean there's def a conversion that we would hope would happen, or that maybe some of your good would rub off on Him which it will....but...like, the women thing...unless that doesn't bother you. It would bother me. I don't mind non believers coming over, living with one is a battle I'd rather not face day in and day out...and I'm not a wuss, I just like to not be exposed to bad things. You love him, but...I dunno...I would find it very exhausting. But! You did say he was nice otherwise and so I guess he otherwise respects you...so then it could work. Perhaps, no, I'm sure God put you two together for a reason!! I have a feeling He has something in store for that young man, and you may be opening some doors . so just pray. It may seem like a mistake...but....I just remembered....He doesn't make mistakes. Only we do . :)
 
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sunsurfkdt

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I would add, if Jack does decide to follow your advice, that he do so when his roommate is not under the influence of anything.
Alcohol retards inhibitions, and it could be perilous for Jack. Someone who lives with a Christian and goes into speeching as to how much they hate Christians, while speaking of killing them, is not someone who is fully stable. When under the influence that condition is exacerbated.

Personally, I wouldn't continue to live with someone who in as much implied they'd like to see me dead because I'm Christian.
In fact, and the reason for my initial inquiry, if I was primary signer on the lease I'd have a sit down with the house manager or apartment manager and explain my situation. And ask them how I can get my roommate not only out of the property but change the locks for security reasons and my personal safety as well.

Someone who believes I should be dead because of the faith I hold, when they avow there is no such thing as God for me to believe in, is dangerous. First and foremost. Forewarned and all that. I would pray for my protection. I would pray I survive till they're out of my life. But I honestly can say, I wouldn't pray for them.

God knows his own. If that man is meant to feel God's presence God has that power to reach him. HE doesn't require my bringing an atheist to his attention. But I would feel I require God's protection while living in the presence of an atheist with murderous intent toward Christians.

Just my thoughts. *I'd also have a inner dead bolt installed on my bedroom door that was not accessible from the outside. With the managers awareness due to my circumstances also. And in fact, I'd go to the police after I got this guy out of my residence and have an order or protection filed against him. This way if one day he ties one on and decides to come for payback I can put him in a place that has chaplains who may counsel him as to the error of his ways. While he serves time in a cage and my body doesn't spend eternity in a coffin because an atheist thought that the best place for all Christians to be.

I once knew a man who was a violent schizophrenic individual. And a former Navy seal. It seemed as if it ran in the family because his sister was afflicted as well. I was there when his explosive rage , as a man who was 6'4" and as I said a former Navy seal, threatened to assault a woman who was under 5'5". I don't ever dismiss the potential of someone who makes the remark they believe anyone, Christian or other, should be killed.
That's the kind of thing that even when it erupts out of someone's mouth when they're under the influence is there under the surface already. And the chemical alteration afforded by alcohol or drugs just lets it come out.
Those type people are the one's who make headlines later on. And those who survive and have to deal with the aftermath are heard saying; I never knew.He/She had made threats before but I just thought it was the alcohol, drugs, anger, whatever the case, talking.

No, people who want you dead at any time are not nice guys.
Get him out! Or get out yourself. While you're still alive and in one piece to pack.

An atheist that hates Christians. Think about that for a minute. I hate you because you first believe in something that doesn't exist.
Ahh I doubt he was serious...I've had big time anti Christians who were friends say the same thing to me. I didn't think they would actually kill me. Um but, this guy wasn't a very good guy to talk to for a long period of time, bc he was very sexual. And had some pretty bad ..views..he was not evil. I think deep down...no he was good. He just...misguided but I don't think he's really horrible or anything.I mean he said horrible things...but...talking to him...he's not so bad. Just you have to be careful how much u speak with him. He can bring ur mind to the gutter amongst other things...but we agreed that if I kept religiont to a minimum he would respect me and not insult G-d .but I did bring it up a bit, and hed listen and we would discuss...but it never ended in a conversion. Finally he blocked me coz I guess I crossed the line.
 
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AnonymousRain

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He's a nice guy, but he blatantly insults my beliefs even when I'm right in front of him.
You've got a very low bar set for what constitutes a nice guy.
I don't know if you're coming back to read all these replies to your question and request for advice however, I wouldn't care what his background was growing up. By the way, the father does not do pot. One does not do pot, they smoke pot.
He's responsible for who he is and how he acts as a grown man now. And disrespecting you and your faith to your face is a character flaw all his own. It is not the fault of the parenting he experienced.

He'd be my former roommate as soon as possible if I were you. You don't teach someone to be a better person by tolerating their disrespect of you patiently. They get a great deal of satisfaction disrespecting you to your face, which shows they do not respect you at all. And, when you take it, that's even more satisfaction because then you're showing them that they must be on to something if you, out of your own sense of self respect, take it and do not do anything to extricate yourself from a verbally and emotionally abusive relationship.

I bet he doesn't have a woman in his life. Or if he does, he has a history of relationships with women that don't last.
Reason I say this is because a man who is like this to his roommate is like this always. It just depends on his personal prejudice as to what he chooses to accost when something is held dear by someone else in his life.
I also would bet you that he has a sketchy work history. Unable to find and keep a job over long. Because that kind of personality does not work well with others. And especially has no respect for authority.

Get away! That's my advice. You're not going to change him. He's grown. But he can change how you feel about yourself when he whittles your self esteem down word by word.
 
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If he doesn't respect your faith, will he respect other things that you consider important? I would make whatever arrangements are necessary for you to get out of the situation. None of us know what the true inner thoughts of others are, not worth the risk IMO. Will pray for both you and your roommate.
Good luck and blessings. Star Dancer
 
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