It's finished

Hidden101

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So I had liked this girl for around two years. I completely stuffed up with her and yesterday was the first time in eight months that she had approached me. I apologised to her and she accepted. I offered to walk with her to her class and she declined.
She is leaving in roughly eight weeks time to a new city 12 hours away. I will never see her again.
The thing is I still like her. I was mean to her previous. Can you pray that God performs a miracle for me? She is much better than me though, a true follower of Christ who is 10 times smarter.
I have mixed feelings, I am divided into four.
One part of the four likes her but it acknowledges that I have idolised her. This part also wants to know more about her.
Another part of the four wants to be a friend to her and get to know her more.
The other part of the four is indifferent to her.
The latter part of the four is afraid of her because I want to leave on good terms with her.
We have no trust between us. Through my insecurity I have screwed up the trust in-between us.
How can I repair the trusts in less than three hours? How can I fix this up in a matter of hours?
Then I am worried because my tooth is playing up. Every single second of time with her will be precious because if I do not fix things up now, then it will be blasted forever.

Please pray! I have been praying for months and God only answered my prayer at the last second. A bittersweet answer and I feel bitter about it.
 
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suzeequeue

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you do not know that is the last time you will see her, dear. could you seek her out before she leaves and ask for her e-mail address so you two can stay in touch. you could confess your desire for a friendship with her and explain that your heart has changed and how you regret what has happened in the past, but you were hoping to still stay in touch and be friends with her. it could grow into something more in the future... show her that you've changed, pray about it, of course. God bless you.

praying for you and her :prayer:
 
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Hidden101

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you do not know that is the last time you will see her, dear. could you seek her out before she leaves and ask for her e-mail address so you two can stay in touch. you could confess your desire for a friendship with her and explain that your heart has changed and how you regret what has happened in the past, but you were hoping to still stay in touch and be friends with her. it could grow into something more in the future... show her that you've changed, pray about it, of course. God bless you.

praying for you and her :prayer:

I tried today.
I said "hi". She said "hi". Then I said "how are you". She then said "bye". Then I backed off and while backing off said to her friend that she "was grumpy and that I am only trying to be friendly". She then yelled out "go away".
I do not really want a relationship: I just want to leave on good terms, and mainly to get to know her more.
I just do not understand, why does God never really answer any of my prayers?
I just can't stand leaving this whole mess on bad terms. Even if I never see her again I would be happy if I got to leave on good terms with her.
 
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Fortran

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I am sorry to hear of the update. I obviously could be vastly mistaken as I am but a distant bystander, but it sounds to me as if the girl is simply "wrong"; that is, she is not acting in the love of Christ. It does not seem as if God, typically, if at all, will change a man (or woman's will) to prevent misdeeds. People hurt one another. Lies are told. People chose not forgive, act selfishly, or simply lack empathy, compassion, or love. Some are bullies who actively seek to hurt others. Such things happen everyday. Everyday, "good" people are hurt by bad or careless deeds or words, sometimes from other believers. God does not prevent this. Why? I do not know.

Take consolation in this. If you have truly tried to make amends, you have done the right thing. Sure, this may seem meaningless now, as it does not to ease the hurt of the present, but God knows. If she chooses not forgive or mend what is broken, please do not let this hurt you. Let her bear this burden until she chooses to release it. Unforgiveness or living in the past will do no good.

You are still in my prayers.
 
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Hidden101

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I am sorry to hear of the update. I obviously could be vastly mistaken as I am but a distant bystander, but it sounds to me as if the girl is simply "wrong"; that is, she is not acting in the love of Christ. It does not seem as if God, typically, if at all, will change a man (or woman's will) to prevent misdeeds. People hurt one another. Lies are told. People chose not forgive, act selfishly, or simply lack empathy, compassion, or love. Some are bullies who actively seek to hurt others. Such things happen everyday. Everyday, "good" people are hurt by bad or careless deeds or words, sometimes from other believers. God does not prevent this. Why? I do not know.

Take consolation in this. If you have truly tried to make amends, you have done the right thing. Sure, this may seem meaningless now, as it does not to ease the hurt of the present, but God knows. If she chooses not forgive or mend what is broken, please do not let this hurt you. Let her bear this burden until she chooses to release it. Unforgiveness or living in the past will do no good.

You are still in my prayers.

I have tried. I guess it hurts double because she is what one would consider to be a good Christian. Leading a bible study, volunteering at numerous churches, you hopefully get the drift. Hopefully she chooses to repair the hurt between us. She wants to move on but she does not want to repair all this fighting; whereas I want to move on in good terms.

The thing about prayer is it is never seemingly answered. One grows tired.
 
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Hidden101

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I cracked my temper at her, sent her a message that said I had did everything that you asked but you only treated me with scorn.
In regards to the whole thing that happened previous, with the get away, I got someone to send her a message asking about it. They replied today:

I have heard back from *. My apologies that it has taken some time to get back to you.

She would still like to have no contact with you, as she continues to interaction with you distressing, and is still concerned that you have an unhealthy emotional obsession with her. She is concerned that you still have a sense of entitlement to her affections and that you remain angry that this sense of entitlement is denied. She therefore feels that any social contact can easily turn into harrassment.

It is regretful that she communicated this to you in a way that was not helpful last week when she told you to "go away".
However, the situation has now been clarified, and it is important that you respect her wish not to have any social interaction with you. You are not entitled to a friendship with her - as I am sure you understand.

I am aware that this is not the message that you wanted to hear, and I regret that it will cause you grief. However, I am sure that having clarity about the situation will in the long run help you get over * and move on.

I would be very happy to meet up and discuss the matter further if you wish.
 
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Fortran

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I am sorry for the update as it does not sound like a favorable one.

I am not trying to judge or condemn, and I certainly do not understand the situation nor your feelings, but please, please try and let this lady go. Whether or not she is a good person, or right or wrong in this particular situation is not all that relevant. If she is wrong - please forgive her and move on. Even if she is right, I think it would be best to let her deal with the consequences of any unforgiveness or bitterness she may harbor, because, to me, one thing is clear, you do not mean her any harm. I am truly sorry that it sounds like the relationship is not ending on a good note, but try and let it rest in the past and press toward the future instead.

Either way, I cannot offer much advice (and such is not the point of this particular forum), but you are still in my prayers.
 
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alexis82

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I'm sure this is difficult for you. Last year I moved away from my boyfriend of sometime and after that things went downhill. I prayed for God to do his will and bring me peace but I was secretly hoping for us to get back together, yet i had little faith. Please understand that whatever happens is all part of a plan and you WILL get through it because you have the creator of everything on your side! I pray that God's will brings you peace and He gives you the courage to approach this girl with all of the right things to say! A few months back I was in the hospital and I had a pastor come see me everyday and he always made sure he told me I'm precious. I don't think people hear that enough, but YOU are precious to God and you will be blessed. Keep your faith and keep praying for guidance. God will never fail you! God bless!
 
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Hidden101

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No I will not :) Nothing ever works out my way. I have been crying out for around two years or more for God to help me, give me love, health and happiness. I have had a hard life. She will be leaving permanently in a couple of weeks. When she leaves church to find a new church, I am going to be leaving all church.

I am not allowed to talk to her - she wants no interaction at all. I am unwell, poor dental health. It is finished.
 
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