Ok so a little background on me, I am 18 will soon be 19 and I thought that I was saved at the age of 6 I remember getting on my knees and begging God to protect me from satan and hell. Well about a month after turning 18 I began to have incredibly serious doubts and depression that followed those doubts. Its like all of a sudden it was impossible for me to believe. Now I am in the situation where every now in then I get a little boost of trust in Jesus. I tell myself just trust that He really did die for you and really did rise again on the third day. Even as I type this I feel like deep down inside I know that is true but it's like something in my head is just not agreeing. I pray everyday since this all started that God would just open my heart and allow me to just have true Biblical saving faith in Him. I started multiple Bible reading plans and have been trying everything I know to do. It's like when I'm trying to do stuff I just keep getting like this feeling of what if my belief is not truly genuine then I go into the I can't believe then a few minutes later I'm like I think I trust but I really don't know. Please help I want to go to Heaven I really do. I want to serve God but I'm having trouble. My Boyfriend(He's 16) has told me he is also having these troubles. I'm not sure if it affects it or not but I have OCD and I have depersonalization disorder. Please help me. God Bless!
It's true, an imballance can really distort things, but it also can work to your favor, I have capitalized on three deficiencies with the grace of heaven, and have transformed disabilities into gifts, so you hang in there!
What made it easy for me, was realizing that, I really do not have a choice, if I'm going to be proper and know the truth with all certainty, then I need our heavenly Father to take me by the hand, and personally walk me through every bit of it;
What makes it hard? Listening to anyone but Him!, Thinking you actually have an option!
I'm not saying, do not listen to any one, I'm saying only pay attention to the Father & Son as you hear them speak through us, ignore the rest;
Ultimately we believe what appears to be real in our minds eye, this is an actual part of our psyche that a hypnotist attempts to reach in order to Convince them
something is true, or real that they otherwise do not believe;
Thus we continue in the word to literally brain wash the filth of lies, fears, and foolishness away, to reprogram ourselves, and be born into new beings, I am living proof, and you can be too!
Of course every good faith needs a solid foundation, therefore heaven provides us with the Word of our Divine Author, and the Holy Spirit to guide us through it, therefore a bible reading plan would be like telling the Holy Spirit what we should read today, instead of the otherway around;
Reading plans can help, however they can also be like riding a bike with training wheels, which is appropriate if that is where one is best fitted;
Those who are the hungriest, eat more, so have no shame, be a complete pig, act like you can't get enough of your personal study....you just need one magical ingredient!
You need to amplify your awareness of our Father, the more real He is to You, the More you will be inclined to ask, and rely on Him, instead of trying to figure something out on your own, or rely on someone else;
All of us here are aware of our Father and the Love that He has for us, but strangely, not all of us believe, for if we truly believed that He is, what could we possibly put before Him, and say this is more important than you?
The Author of heaven & earth has a hotline, all we have to do is use it and trust, and rely on the response, even when the response is silence!
Our Father requires us to trust and rely on Him as if He were a competant, and loving being that knows what He is doing, otherwise we are accusing Him of being less;
We are all in the Fathers hand, and everyone who continues in His Word is in the Hand of His Son, His Saving Hand, thus who can touch you without their explicit permission?
If you stay in the saftey of His Word, then you will remain in the saftey of His Hand!
Of course, we all Love you, but He Loves you more!