Lonely, please help!

Andres88 · Oct 4, 2015

grandvizier1006 said:
Hello, everyone. Since moving into my dorm I've made a few friends and a number of acquaintances, but I come home sometimes and still feel lonely. But when I go back to school on Sunday afternoon, I just get caught up in work and have to lock myself away and study. I think I'm just not managing my time right--college gives tons of free time but I don't know how to use it well. I want to try and figure out how to do that stuff better.

That happens to me as well in all my stages as a student. Focusing on studies alone doesn't do the trick; focusing on socializing and entertainment alone doesn't do it either. Try to set time aside for recreation and further socializing. A balance needs to be found if you want to live the full experience of college life. This time set aside should be intentional, as a pivotal part of your weekly routine. Just don't see it as an obligation.

grandvizier1006 · Oct 4, 2015

Quasicentennial said:
Seeing that Asperger's is a light form of autism, self-diagnosing yourself rather than relying on the doctor can be self-challenging in finding out the root cause of this light mental illness, while at the same time experimenting with any random choice of fresh fruit, vegetables and herbs such as parsley, to pacify this very light form of depression or anxiety, where depression and anxiety are socially negative emotional life-destroyers:.
Jesus Christ is our healer of all diseases - this bible statement may not be true in the now present time for those who have serious diseases and disabilities that are beyond medical treatment at a human level, but it is definitely future-coming evidence of our Lord Jesus Christ when he returns in his Second Coming future victory return,
to defeat Satan and to transform us in such a way that it will not be possible to suffer any disease, disability, injury nor even death at all because Satan will not be at war spiritually again once he is defeated, an almost perfect and positive eternal life experience as if there is sunshine every day and spring every season - no rainy stormy weather and hot and cold extremes of summer and winter.
Faith is a supernatural connection with Jesus Christ, even if his physical self identity is beyond our universe in the comfort and safety of the most advanced and construction-safe kingdom of God up in heaven, there is no wide distance apart between his heart and our hearts as we are 'more than conquerors' -
spiritually united as One Union With Christ.;'*';.

Frankly, I've never understood your formulaic posts. I appreciate the help, though. Also, I wasn't self-diagnosed, I went to see a doctor around the time I was 13 and he told my parents, who later told me. And eating certain foods doesn't help my anxiety.

LoricaLady · Oct 8, 2015

Praying for insight, wisdom, guidance, peace, good friends.

Dave-W · Oct 8, 2015

Have you ever read this book?
Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's

it is by John E Robison and describes how he dealt with the syndrome. My oldest granddaughter also has it or something very similar and that is why I read it a couple of years ago. It was fascinating. (he worked with KISS guitarist Ace Frehely)

grandvizier1006 · Oct 8, 2015

DaveW-Ohev said:
Have you ever read this book?
Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's

it is by John E Robison and describes how he dealt with the syndrome. My oldest granddaughter also has it or something very similar and that is why I read it a couple of years ago. It was fascinating. (he worked with KISS guitarist Ace Frehely)

I don't think I have, but I have read other Asperger's help books.

Autumnleaf · Oct 11, 2015

grandvizier1006 said:
i have been forced to live at home for two years, with little contact save for my family. On Saturday I move into a college dorm. I'm supposed to just make friends after two years of isolation?

The main reasons for my isolation involve having Asperger's syndrome and just being too lazy and afraid of doing things. I spend too much time thinking and not enough time doing anything.

This place has driven me insane, and so has being alone for too long. I am afraid of people because In the time that I haven't gotten to interact with them extensively I'm afraid that the new ones I will be facing and expected to get along with will be everything I don't want or need them to be. I need Christian friends, not tolerant liberals. But there's only so many on this site and only so many out in the real world, where I'm supposed to just pretend I have no problems at all. That's hard for me to do.

How am I supposed to serve God when I could just be continuing this terrible phase of my life?

Its up to you. If you don't want to socialize then don't. If you want friends then put in the work to get them. Just keep in mind that people generally try to be nice and if you aren't nice to them they will avoid you. You decide if the hassle and joys of having friends is worth it or not.

If you have aspergers and you want friends then you will have to work harder than most to make it work. Be all in if you try because it will take effort.

I've found in life that I'm about as lucky in things as the effort I choose to put into them.

As for sharing the aspergers...

If you tell them to read a book so they can understand you you will inconvenience them and they will avoid you because its too much upfront effort. If you tell them you're a little off because of having something called aspergers but you do care and are a nice guy then they can work with that.

I tell people I have a personality type called INTJ which means I think more than I feel and I can be very sincere about something while my face shows nothing. Then people either take it or leave it. I don't try to please everybody but I do try to let people know what's up.

grandvizier1006 · Oct 17, 2015

It's been a few months in. While I am finding time to do things, I'm still a bite lonely. I don't know everyone else's schedules, of course, and it seems like I'm missing out on wherever and whatever the action is. Like homecoming, I missed that and felt terrible since it seemed like everyone else had a great time

I think I'm slipping in and out of depression a lot lately. I called my mom and I'm going home for the rest of the day and tomorrow. I just want to see some people again, since right now everybody is at a football game and i don't really care for that.

For the rest of the year, though, I want to be more social. I'm fine with just talking to people, but I just can't connect with them well without a lot of effort and time on my part. I just wish it came more naturally.

TravelerFarAwayFromHome · Oct 17, 2015

grandvizier1006 said:
It's been a few months in. While I am finding time to do things, I'm still a bite lonely. I don't know everyone else's schedules, of course, and it seems like I'm missing out on wherever and whatever the action is. Like homecoming, I missed that and felt terrible since it seemed like everyone else had a great time

I think I'm slipping in and out of depression a lot lately. I called my mom and I'm going home for the rest of the day and tomorrow. I just want to see some people again, since right now everybody is at a football game and i don't really care for that.

For the rest of the year, though, I want to be more social. I'm fine with just talking to people, but I just can't connect with them well without a lot of effort and time on my part. I just wish it came more naturally.

when you say you are having trouble connect with people without a lot of effort

do you mean you feel like you need to "perform" well in front of your new aquaintances, in order to turn you relationships into a friendship and maintain it?

maybe a bit like a court jester who is forced to perform in front of an audience?

an it just get too hard?

SarahsKnight · Oct 17, 2015

grandvizier1006 said:
I think I'm slipping in and out of depression a lot lately. I called my mom and I'm going home for the rest of the day and tomorrow. I just want to see some people again, since right now everybody is at a football game and i don't really care for that.

For the rest of the year, though, I want to be more social. I'm fine with just talking to people, but I just can't connect with them well without a lot of effort and time on my part. I just wish it came more naturally.

Unfortunately it does not come naturally to many people, Grand. But it's good to see that you want to make the effort. I will pray that God keeps depression as far from you as He wills, though.

grandvizier1006 · Oct 17, 2015

TravelerFarAwayFromHome said:
when you say you are having trouble connect with people without a lot of effort

do you mean you feel like you need to "perform" well in front of your new aquaintances, in order to turn you relationships into a friendship and maintain it?

maybe a bit like a court jester who is forced to perform in front of an audience?

an it just get too hard?

I can acquaint myself with someone, but I never get to know much about them and they never seem to want to do much with me. It might be because I never really ask or give them the time to suggest something. The whole thing just seems difficult because it doesn't come naturally.

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Lonely, please help!

Andres88

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