This is something I've been trying to talk about for a while now. The trouble is, I can't figure out the basic mechanics of what approach to take, or even what section of this site it belongs in.
I've got a conversion story with a twist. I was very open as a teen, but churches just turned me off. The culture was offputting to me. I was made to feel I didn't belong, that I had nothing in common with the people there, and that Christianity had no relevance to my life.
I was near giving up when I was met by someone from a background comparable to mine, who had somehow managed to become a Christian. Single, from a dysfunctional family. She was from another country, but she was far less alien to me than all those sheltered Ned Flanders types the churches were full of. Even then, it was a close thing. I had to think about it a few years, and I had to grit my teeth to attend church.
Now I want to reach out to others from my background, of whom there are plenty. But I'm on my own. I can't even find a church I could bring them to. Every church is all about family this, family that, sheltered people who grew up Christian and just can't relate. Their outreach to the poor is condescending. They serve the poor with soup kitchens and Christmas thingies for the foster kids, but they can't actually have a conversation with anyone who isn't just like them. The ignorant, insensitive things they said to me when I was a teen are still in their silly little heads.
This is not any particular church or denomination. This is all of them. Every single one I've been to. They're all out of touch and unrelatable. It's offputting. I attend churches because the Bible says to, basically as a chore, but how can this possibly appeal to a struggling unbeliever?
I've brought visitors to church. Every time I get somebody in studies, some other guy who's too plugged into the church culture and not sufficiently plugged in to the real world says something so horribly stupid, self righteous and judgmental that it drives my visitor away. If I were to judge Christ by Christians, I'd be driven away too.
(No, I'm not talking about hypocrisy, so don't even bring that up. I'm talking about the sincere, genuine cluelessness of people who just don't get out enough.)
This ties into other defects of church culture. The family-centrism. Jesus was not a family man. Would he be comfortable in a family church? The circle-the-wagons mentality about the world: We've got to shelter our kids from all the bad stuff out there. That relegates evangelism to an afterthought, or even worse, a futile ritual.
Jesus got down and talked with people from troubled backgrounds. He didn't just ladle out soup and preach at them. He listened and gave them quality time. It's not spelled out, but I think it's implicit in the gospels that Jesus listened as much as he talked, in one-on-one interactions. Would Jesus have volunteered in a soup kitchen, staying behind the counter and putting out the sandwiches?
There's no place for this kind of relating in the modern church mindset. There's a lot of lip service paid to personal witnessing, but everything churches actually do defeats the purpose. People raised in the church wouldn't be able to relate this way to outsiders if they wanted to. They're not prepared in any way. The things they'd hear would either go over their heads or freak them out, and the things they'd say themselves... ugh.
It's not about apologetics. Most of apologetics misses the point. It doesn't even address seeker's deepest concerns. It's all about winning some intellectual debate, instead of about how to live. Evidence That Demands A Verdict? It's not a courtroom, people. It's life.
Seeker sensitive churches: a good try. Still kind of a disconnect, though. They seem to be looking for a formula. What was Jesus' formula?
It occurs to me that Jesus never invited anyone to a church service as such, or got anyone to a group Bible study that he was not leading himself. He was kind of a lone wolf. He certainly saw the need for a church, but a church on his terms.
Site admins, feel free to move this if there's a better place. To me it seems to belong everywhere and nowhere at the same time.
I've got a conversion story with a twist. I was very open as a teen, but churches just turned me off. The culture was offputting to me. I was made to feel I didn't belong, that I had nothing in common with the people there, and that Christianity had no relevance to my life.
I was near giving up when I was met by someone from a background comparable to mine, who had somehow managed to become a Christian. Single, from a dysfunctional family. She was from another country, but she was far less alien to me than all those sheltered Ned Flanders types the churches were full of. Even then, it was a close thing. I had to think about it a few years, and I had to grit my teeth to attend church.
Now I want to reach out to others from my background, of whom there are plenty. But I'm on my own. I can't even find a church I could bring them to. Every church is all about family this, family that, sheltered people who grew up Christian and just can't relate. Their outreach to the poor is condescending. They serve the poor with soup kitchens and Christmas thingies for the foster kids, but they can't actually have a conversation with anyone who isn't just like them. The ignorant, insensitive things they said to me when I was a teen are still in their silly little heads.
This is not any particular church or denomination. This is all of them. Every single one I've been to. They're all out of touch and unrelatable. It's offputting. I attend churches because the Bible says to, basically as a chore, but how can this possibly appeal to a struggling unbeliever?
I've brought visitors to church. Every time I get somebody in studies, some other guy who's too plugged into the church culture and not sufficiently plugged in to the real world says something so horribly stupid, self righteous and judgmental that it drives my visitor away. If I were to judge Christ by Christians, I'd be driven away too.
(No, I'm not talking about hypocrisy, so don't even bring that up. I'm talking about the sincere, genuine cluelessness of people who just don't get out enough.)
This ties into other defects of church culture. The family-centrism. Jesus was not a family man. Would he be comfortable in a family church? The circle-the-wagons mentality about the world: We've got to shelter our kids from all the bad stuff out there. That relegates evangelism to an afterthought, or even worse, a futile ritual.
Jesus got down and talked with people from troubled backgrounds. He didn't just ladle out soup and preach at them. He listened and gave them quality time. It's not spelled out, but I think it's implicit in the gospels that Jesus listened as much as he talked, in one-on-one interactions. Would Jesus have volunteered in a soup kitchen, staying behind the counter and putting out the sandwiches?
There's no place for this kind of relating in the modern church mindset. There's a lot of lip service paid to personal witnessing, but everything churches actually do defeats the purpose. People raised in the church wouldn't be able to relate this way to outsiders if they wanted to. They're not prepared in any way. The things they'd hear would either go over their heads or freak them out, and the things they'd say themselves... ugh.
It's not about apologetics. Most of apologetics misses the point. It doesn't even address seeker's deepest concerns. It's all about winning some intellectual debate, instead of about how to live. Evidence That Demands A Verdict? It's not a courtroom, people. It's life.
Seeker sensitive churches: a good try. Still kind of a disconnect, though. They seem to be looking for a formula. What was Jesus' formula?
It occurs to me that Jesus never invited anyone to a church service as such, or got anyone to a group Bible study that he was not leading himself. He was kind of a lone wolf. He certainly saw the need for a church, but a church on his terms.
Site admins, feel free to move this if there's a better place. To me it seems to belong everywhere and nowhere at the same time.
