Fellowship The Marriage Bed

SpiritPsalmist

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SpiritPsalmist

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i remember a quote that may have been from their website years ago... between a married couple, anything is permissable so long as bones are not broken.

made me laugh at the time.
LOL
 
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dayhiker

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When I was married I read a lot of their stuff. It can be a really freeing site for married people that are still hung up on their single stuff.
Good way to get conversations going with one's spouse about things. Since I've been divorced for 8 yrs, I've not been there in a long time.
 
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Flute28

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I lost my virginity to Paul many years ago, when I was eighteen, and when he was twenty, and neither of us were married. I had read books by Christian authors about marriage, and some of them were pretty graphic and I completely decided that I was ready for marriage, especially after prayer. Now, when I was ten years old, I read my first romance novel, and I was shocked by the graphic nature of the author's description. I had a sexual experience when I was seventeen, but I did not lose my virginity. Things were awkward at first between me and Paul. He had slept with twelve young women before me, and they were not married. I always wanted to marry Paul. Things were awkward because I had doubts about my abilities, and I didn't want him to be my teacher. It was romantic, I guess. But I was crying all the time on our bed in the dorm room because I knew we were going to break up. We haven't been able to sleep with each other in many years, but as Jesus said, the two become one flesh, and no man must come between them. I'll tell you that I had sexual experiences with three men since him, but of course I was eighteen in 1996. About the first one, and the relationship lasted about nine months. The second one lasted about three months. The third one lasted about a year and a half. I felt I needed sex, even though Paul was not present in my life. But no one had wanted to marry me. I am in my thirties, all three of the men happened in my thirties, and they were in their forties. Completely not interested in marrying me. Marriage is not something that everyone receives from God... I say this matter-of-factly, well, because I have seen with my own two eyes that not every Christian becomes part of a marital relationship, becomes a spouse. In the beginning, of course things were awkward. Little fights happened. I remember he made fun of my snoring in the beginning, and threatened to break up with me. As time has progressed, I have come to this question: if things did not run smoothly in the beginning, many years ago, and part of it was our sexuality, does that necessarily reflect our future relationship? I have heard it can get better and better. I come to you with a question, not an authority on the subject so much, but because I realize that I am not in the beginning of a relationship, nor am I towards the end. I do not consider myself a budding marriage, nor do I consider myself a mature marriage. I would like a little helping hand from a person in a mature marriage, and please let God help interpret what I mean by mature marriage.
 
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SpiritPsalmist

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Flute28, I am single but perhaps someone in the forum section "For Women Who Struggle" could be more help to you. Of course there might be someone in this area that could help but if you did not know about that area, there are other women (it's specifically for women) there who have been through what you are going through. Blessings to you sister :hug:
 
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dayhiker

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Thanks Flute28 for sharing your story. I don't have much to offer but encourage you to continue to learn how to love people as God would.
I've always found loving to be good long term even if the relationship ends for some reason. Oh, I'm not just talking romantic relationships.
 
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Righttruth

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I lost my virginity to Paul many years ago, when I was eighteen, and when he was twenty, and neither of us were married. I had read books by Christian authors about marriage, and some of them were pretty graphic and I completely decided that I was ready for marriage, especially after prayer. Now, when I was ten years old, I read my first romance novel, and I was shocked by the graphic nature of the author's description. I had a sexual experience when I was seventeen, but I did not lose my virginity. Things were awkward at first between me and Paul. He had slept with twelve young women before me, and they were not married. I always wanted to marry Paul. Things were awkward because I had doubts about my abilities, and I didn't want him to be my teacher. It was romantic, I guess. But I was crying all the time on our bed in the dorm room because I knew we were going to break up. We haven't been able to sleep with each other in many years, but as Jesus said, the two become one flesh, and no man must come between them. I'll tell you that I had sexual experiences with three men since him, but of course I was eighteen in 1996. About the first one, and the relationship lasted about nine months. The second one lasted about three months. The third one lasted about a year and a half. I felt I needed sex, even though Paul was not present in my life. But no one had wanted to marry me. I am in my thirties, all three of the men happened in my thirties, and they were in their forties. Completely not interested in marrying me. Marriage is not something that everyone receives from God... I say this matter-of-factly, well, because I have seen with my own two eyes that not every Christian becomes part of a marital relationship, becomes a spouse. In the beginning, of course things were awkward. Little fights happened. I remember he made fun of my snoring in the beginning, and threatened to break up with me. As time has progressed, I have come to this question: if things did not run smoothly in the beginning, many years ago, and part of it was our sexuality, does that necessarily reflect our future relationship? I have heard it can get better and better. I come to you with a question, not an authority on the subject so much, but because I realize that I am not in the beginning of a relationship, nor am I towards the end. I do not consider myself a budding marriage, nor do I consider myself a mature marriage. I would like a little helping hand from a person in a mature marriage, and please let God help interpret what I mean by mature marriage.

Are you a Christian?
 
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Alithis

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one thing that is not healthy for a marriage .. can be too much focus "on the marriage " -- eyes on the lord folks .. it is amazing how he can bring things into tune in love when your hearts are focussed on the lord JEsus above ALL else
 
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Righttruth

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one thing that is not healthy for a marriage .. can be too much focus "on the marriage " -- eyes on the lord folks .. it is amazing how he can bring things into tune in love when your hearts are focussed on the lord JEsus above ALL else

There are three types of love according to the Bible. One is 'agape', second 'friendly' and third 'carnal'

God expects 'agape' love from us. God also expects 'friendly' love with neighbors and friends. Furthermore, he allows 'carnal' love between husband and wife. That is also the order of priority for mankind. Those who are strong will choose the first two only. The weak will have to settle for the third one. Glorifying the third one is not desired when it comes to serving the Lord fully. The third one should not be the main criterion for the human beings ignoring the first two!
 
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Alithis

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There are three types of love according to the Bible. One is 'agape', second 'friendly' and third 'carnal'

God expects 'agape' love from us. God also expects 'friendly' love with neighbors and friends. Furthermore, he allows 'carnal' love between husband and wife. That is also the order of priority for mankind. Those who are strong will choose the first two only. The weak will have to settle for the third one. Glorifying the third one is not desired when it comes to serving the Lord fully. The third one should not be the main criterion for the human beings ignoring the first two!
there may be many variations of the expression of love .. ie agape etc .. but there is only one kind of love .. "God is Love "
 
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JaapAap

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When I read that text about the marriage bed somehow I always think you have to put the blankets straight.
I always thought that grandson of Noah was cursed because he literally climbed on the bed of his father, serious, lol, because the text says that.
I always imagined he climbed on such a thing:
dubbelbed.jpg

Never understood what was so bad about that until I was 30 or something lol.
 
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