Pagan finding his way to Christianity

dhornace · Sep 2, 2015

Hi everyone! New guy here and this is my first post. Little back story first...

I was raised a Catholic and was very very close with my faith and with God. As I got older, I started questioning things, which I think a lot of people do in their early teens. I slowly began to lose my faith, it sort of dissipated. But I still felt a connection with something. I then found Paganism, found that connection with the Gods, etc, etc. So for the last 17 years I have been Pagan. About 5 years ago I was creeping back towards Christianity but it didn't stick. And again, over the last few months I have been creeping towards God again. I bought a Bible and have been reading it again for the first time in years. It's weird. It is like I want to believe, but it is hard when I have been following a certain path for so long. So many things to me that I have made it in my mind that "Christianity doesn't work" or it "contradicts itself". Maybe it will just take time? I'm not sure. I saw a post on here where a gentleman said that you need to fully believe in order to really understand your connection with God. I agree, but it is difficult.

So I guess what I'm looking for is some guidance? Has anyone else been where I am at? I feel like I'm alone with this.

Any responses would be greatly appreciated!

Dan

RC1970 · Sep 2, 2015

“I do not seek to understand in order that I may believe, but I believe in order to understand.” ~ St. Augustine

seekingsolace · Sep 2, 2015

dhornace said:
Maybe it will just take time? I'm not sure. I saw a post on here where a gentleman said that you need to fully believe in order to really understand your connection with God. I agree, but it is difficult.

So I guess what I'm looking for is some guidance? Has anyone else been where I am at? I feel like I'm alone with this.

There are many stories from the same background as you Dan, don't feel alone. It does take time, think of it as a journey. I know its difficult to be patient when waiting for answers. Keep searching, I have faith you will get them. Welcome to the forum.

Goatee · Sep 2, 2015

Obviously to me, God is calling you back to his open arms!!! He wants you to go to him.

My advice would be to seek out a good priest. Get his advice and help. He will guide you with Gods help. Then, confession if you have not already done so and then receiving the Eucharist. Always a good idea to seak good spiritual guidance from a priest. Not all priests can give you this but i am sure God will find one for you.

This is assuming you are looking to continue as a Catholic? If not, there are other members of different churches that can help you. Being as you are a Catholic, that would seem like the obvious route.

God bless you and good luck on your journey back home

dhornace · Sep 2, 2015

seekingsolace said:
There are many stories from the same background as you Dan, don't feel alone. It does take time, think of it as a journey. I know its difficult to be patient when waiting for answers. Keep searching, I have faith you will get them. Welcome to the forum.

That's a good way to think about it. Patience is a virtue right?

I plan on continuing my search for the answers I'm seeking. I have been looking thru the forums and have found some good posts. Thank you for having faith in me!

dhornace · Sep 2, 2015

antletems said:
Obviously to me, God is calling you back to his open arms!!! He wants you to go to him.

My advice would be to seek out a good priest. Get his advice and help. He will guide you with Gods help. Then, confession if you have not already done so and then receiving the Eucharist. Always a good idea to seak good spiritual guidance from a priest. Not all priests can give you this but i am sure God will find one for you.

This is assuming you are looking to continue as a Catholic? If not, there are other members of different churches that can help you. Being as you are a Catholic, that would seem like the obvious route.

God bless you and good luck on your journey back home

I was thinking the same thing. It's kind of a scary thought to go back into a Church to be honest lol. I do plan on continuing as a Catholic. I want to experience the "embrace" it made me feel, if that makes any sense at all. I guess connection would be a better word. I want to be able to experience that connection I had. Feel what I felt when I read the bible and attended Church. Thank you for your advice, I appreciate it. I guess it's time to find the strength to find a priest!

seekingsolace · Sep 2, 2015

dhornace said:
That's a good way to think about it. Patience is a virtue right? I plan on continuing my search for the answers I'm seeking. I have been looking thru the forums and have found some good posts. Thank you for having faith in me!

You are very welcome.

Goatee · Sep 2, 2015

dhornace said:
I was thinking the same thing. It's kind of a scary thought to go back into a Church to be honest lol. I do plan on continuing as a Catholic. I want to experience the "embrace" it made me feel, if that makes any sense at all. I guess connection would be a better word. I want to be able to experience that connection I had. Feel what I felt when I read the bible and attended Church. Thank you for your advice, I appreciate it. I guess it's time to find the strength to find a priest!

Yes but take your time. Very important to cleanse your soul first. Seek out a priest and confession too as soon as possible. Very important that you are absolved from your sins whatever they are!

God bless you.

food4thought · Sep 3, 2015

Would it be helpful if we could offer some reasonable answers to some of your objections?

dhornace · Sep 3, 2015

food4thought said:
Would it be helpful if we could offer some reasonable answers to some of your objections?

I have thought a lot about it. I am not one to discount the idea of what the bible says. I mean, looking at some Pagan traditions, Asatru for example, they say the earth is the brains of one deity and the sky is made from the hair of another. For me the idea of creation has been a battle, I wouldn't say just because of what is written in the old testament. I think everyone has their opinions on it and I'm sure a lot of people question what really happened. So that stuff isn't so much what I object to.
I would say the parts that I have a hard time connecting with are the idea that we must be submissive. I don't quite understand the need for us to be submissive to a loving God? Maybe I misinterpreted it, if you could shine some light on that, that would really help me. I am not a submissive person by nature so this is a hard concept for me to grasp. Especially coming from a religion that is largely based on being, not necessarily dominant, but more so being strong, hardened and forthright. Again, maybe these are things you can still be as a Catholic and I just don't quite have the right understanding of it.

Thanks for reaching out to help me better understand!

Blank Stair · Sep 3, 2015

The scriptures tell us those whom the Father gives to the Son will never be taken from his hand. And the parable of the prodigal son is a reminder of that. You sound like you are living as that son now seeking to return home. God have mercy.

What branch of Paganism were you member of?

dhornace said:
Hi everyone! New guy here and this is my first post. Little back story first...

I was raised a Catholic and was very very close with my faith and with God. As I got older, I started questioning things, which I think a lot of people do in their early teens. I slowly began to lose my faith, it sort of dissipated. But I still felt a connection with something. I then found Paganism, found that connection with the Gods, etc, etc. So for the last 17 years I have been Pagan. About 5 years ago I was creeping back towards Christianity but it didn't stick. And again, over the last few months I have been creeping towards God again. I bought a Bible and have been reading it again for the first time in years. It's weird. It is like I want to believe, but it is hard when I have been following a certain path for so long. So many things to me that I have made it in my mind that "Christianity doesn't work" or it "contradicts itself". Maybe it will just take time? I'm not sure. I saw a post on here where a gentleman said that you need to fully believe in order to really understand your connection with God. I agree, but it is difficult.

So I guess what I'm looking for is some guidance? Has anyone else been where I am at? I feel like I'm alone with this.

Any responses would be greatly appreciated!

Dan

dhornace · Sep 3, 2015

Blank Stair said:
The scriptures tell us those whom the Father gives to the Son will never be taken from his hand. And the parable of the prodigal son is a reminder of that. You sound like you are living as that son now seeking to return home. God have mercy.

What branch of Paganism were you member of?

Hi Blank Stair!
When I first started looking for that spiritual connection I found Wicca, started delving into that but it didn't really click with me to well. To me it was very vague in a lot of aspects (gods to worship, meditation, etc.) Thru more research I found Paganism as a general religion and found that there were many branches within that religious tree. I figured I would look into my own background for the best one and I am German and Irish so the Celtic traditions fit really well with me. It was more specific and I could actually begin a connection with the teachings that were there.

gpldisciple · Sep 3, 2015

dhornace said:
Hi everyone! New guy here and this is my first post. Little back story first...

I was raised a Catholic and was very very close with my faith and with God. As I got older, I started questioning things, which I think a lot of people do in their early teens. I slowly began to lose my faith, it sort of dissipated. But I still felt a connection with something. I then found Paganism, found that connection with the Gods, etc, etc. So for the last 17 years I have been Pagan. About 5 years ago I was creeping back towards Christianity but it didn't stick. And again, over the last few months I have been creeping towards God again. I bought a Bible and have been reading it again for the first time in years. It's weird. It is like I want to believe, but it is hard when I have been following a certain path for so long. So many things to me that I have made it in my mind that "Christianity doesn't work" or it "contradicts itself". Maybe it will just take time? I'm not sure. I saw a post on here where a gentleman said that you need to fully believe in order to really understand your connection with God. I agree, but it is difficult.

So I guess what I'm looking for is some guidance? Has anyone else been where I am at? I feel like I'm alone with this.

Any responses would be greatly appreciated!

Dan

Hello Dan,

I do not think you are creeping towards God, he is pulling you to Him

I too was raised Catholic, then spent most of my life ignoring The Lord. I pray you will find that a relationship with Christ Jesus is not a religion, not a set of rules, it is the relationship that will free you from the chains of this world, free you from angst. He will open your heart and soul and The Holy Spirit will fill you with love, and an understanding that changes all.
God bless you, may your journey be filled with love and joy in Christ.
Follow your heart and do not be discouraged.

gpldisciple · Sep 3, 2015

I think your concept of "submission" come from your experience with the "religion" you were raised in. As a child, in that religion, I was taught to fear God, he was portrayed as an angry father, waiting for me to sin so I could be punished.

The reality of submission to God is surrender to Christ Jesus. That surrender frees you from guilt, sin, and fear. It is surrendering your heat to Him who loves you the most.

God bless you.

dhornace · Sep 3, 2015

gpldisciple said:
Hello Dan,

I do not think you are creeping towards God, he is pulling you to Him

I too was raised Catholic, then spent most of my life ignoring The Lord. I pray you will find that a relationship with Christ Jesus is not a religion, not a set of rules, it is the relationship that will free you from the chains of this world, free you from angst. He will open your heart and soul and The Holy Spirit will fill you with love, and an understanding that changes all.
God bless you, may your journey be filled with love and joy in Christ.
Follow your heart and do not be discouraged.

Hi gpldisciple, I think you may be right, it does sort of seem like I am being shown the road, if that makes sense. I do have a lot of angst, it's funny that you said that. I think back to when I was younger and wish I had that feeling in my heart again. I mentioned before it was like a warm embrace. I appreciate your response!

dhornace · Sep 3, 2015

gpldisciple said:
I think your concept of "submission" come from your experience with the "religion" you were raised in. As a child, in that religion, I was taught to fear God, he was portrayed as an angry father, waiting for me to sin so I could be punished.

The reality of submission to God is surrender to Christ Jesus. That surrender frees you from guilt, sin, and fear. It is surrendering your heat to Him who loves you the most.

God bless you.

That makes sense, in a way you aren't submitting to God and casting yourself out as a terrible person in his eyes but more so allowing yourself to be free of the guilt, sin and fear that lives inside you and taking in their love.
Did I put that together correctly?

gpldisciple · Sep 3, 2015

You have it right Dan! God is calling, just go with it. I am excited for you.

Albion · Sep 3, 2015

I'd recommend going back to basics, to the start, and try to appreciate Christianity for itself--not because one denomination makes you feel connected or embraced, and not because the Christian god seems more appealing or plausible than some story about the sky being made from a god's hair (!) or the likes of Wicca, that was only invented within my own lifetime.

If you do this with an open mind and are converted to Christ, take it from there and seek out the church that best carries out the Gospel message.

dhornace · Sep 3, 2015

Albion said:
I'd recommend going back to basics, to the start, and try to appreciate Christianity for itself--not because one denomination makes you feel connected or embraced, and not because the Christian god seems more appealing or plausible than some story about the sky being made from a god's hair (!) or the likes of Wicca, that was only invented within my own lifetime.

If you do this with an open mind and are converted to Christ, take it from there and seek out the church that best carries out the Gospel message.

I agree with you. It really isn't about appeal or plausibility with me, that's what I was trying to say in my previous post. I was more so saying that due to a lot of people having an issue believing because of that and I am not one of those people. I may have worded it wrong. I think you are right though and I need to appreciate what encompasses Christianity first and go from there.
Thanks!

Albion · Sep 3, 2015

dhornace said:
I agree with you. It really isn't about appeal or plausibility with me, that's what I was trying to say in my previous post.

Good! That usually is a trap, so I'm glad to read what you say here.

I may have worded it wrong. I think you are right though and I need to appreciate what encompasses Christianity first and go from there.
Thanks!

Right. Just approach it like a person who has no familiarity with Christ, and don't bring your extensive experience with religion and theology with you.

Now...how to do that? There are several six-week or similar programs that churches of all denominations offer to inquirers. One is Alpha and the other one (which I'd recommend) is Christianity Explored.

Or of course you could do your own research, but I'd think that would be tougher for several reasons, one of which would be that it's harder to clear your mind of previous religious convictions and ideas if you are doing all the work.

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