What my grandson said...

BFine

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"I haven't forgiven you for taking me away
from my home and family in Canada."
He said those words to his parents, who are
missionaries to Indonesia.

How do we help him come to terms with their
decision that changed his world when he was
6, now he's nearly 11 and he's still says that to his
parents from time to time...usually when they're
here in Canada on "furlough".

We pray for all them and try not to over due things
so they don't get too attached to stuff that's not
available in the remote area they are based at in Indonesia.
We do simple stuff like boardgames, watch DVD's and
go to parks and read books...we try to keep it like what
they have available in Indonesia.
The younger ones don't know any different but the older
grandson remembers and it's harder on him.

His parents have served just over 4 years thus far and
will be going back for another 4 years.
At this time they will be in Canada for 6 months before
returning to Indonesia.

He has made friends in Indonesia.
He enjoys missions to a point but he's not into it
like his younger siblings... who know more about
Indonesia than life in Canada.
He's the older of the bunch...there's 3 younger
siblings--ages:4, 6, 8.
 

turkle

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I understand how he feels, because when I was 8, my mother moved me from San Francisco to Japan. For the next 13 years I longed to come back to the States, and as soon as I was old enough, I did.

Besides prayer, I don't think there is anything you can do to influence your grandson's desire to leave Indonesia. I've been all over Indonesia on business this year, and it is a rough place. I'm sure the contrast to Canada is significant, and I can't blame the little guy for wanting to live where he feels he belongs.

I'm sure his parents are giving him a rich cultural experience that he will appreciate when he is older. In the meantime, in addition to prayer for the boy, I would just listen to him when he talks about it and be understanding. He needs someone to hear him work through his difficulty.
 
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Psalm3704

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Your home is always where God needs you to go, not always where we like to be.

Matthew 7:13-14 NET
13
Enter through the narrow gate, because the gate is wide and the way is spacious that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it.
14
But the gate is narrow and the way is difficult that leads to life, and there are few who find it.

Hebrews 11:8-9 NIV
8
By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going.
9 By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents, as did Isaac and Jacob, who were heirs with him of the same promise.
 
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DiscipleHeLovesToo

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every time you hear him say that, ask him if he has thanked them for those 6 wonderful years in Canada with his family that his parents did give him...when they didn't have to; if you can get him to realize that he wouldn't have had that to miss if it weren't for them, maybe he'll begin to see things differently
 
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BFine

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He is still tender but intelligent... he desires to
be an inventor...he builds such things with his
Legos!

He loves his Canadian family and misses all
of us when they have to return to Indonesia.

He got saved young and is still "growing up" in his spiritual
walk...we've always been close, ever since he was a babe.
We were the first ones he decided he wanted to go on a
road-trip without his parents! He was two then, the boy was
just so content sitting in his car seat enjoying the scenery.
Not one complaint, no crying to go home... I simply couldn't
believe that he was that "comfortable" with us, we only got
to see him once a year back then (they lived far away but
were in Canada.)

Something very odd happened to our grandson while he was
in Indonesia (their first term)...they'd been there a couple of
months and had a small break, they all went over to another
part of Indonesia where there's a mall. Our grandson's buckled sandal somehow got caught in the escalator and if
it hadn't of been for his dad's quick thinking our grandson
would of lost his foot! His dad literally had to wrench his little boy's foot out of the buckled sandal, as the conveyor belt chewed up the sandal!
Our grandson suffered a very nasty bruise and sprain but was otherwise OK.

The whole situation brought back memories of when my
husband lost his leg due to an accident at work... our terrified grandson said this to his parents :
"I would of been like Grandpa."
He had bad dreams about his close call, I wonder if that is part of why he still longs for home and his Canadian family?
 
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Goodbook

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Maybe he just misses the climate..i dont know. I think when you that age you crave security and Canada was home to him and he remembers it thats all, he instinctively knows thats where he belongs. I imagine indonesia would be quite a contrast to canada for a young boy.
 
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DiscipleHeLovesToo

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he was likely shielded from the ugliness in the world until he was old enough to go to school, which was probably about the time he moved with his family to another country; if he had stayed in canada, it likely would have lost it's appeal as the ideal place to live as he learned more about the real world
 
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BFine

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he was likely shielded from the ugliness in the world until he was old enough to go to school, which was probably about the time he moved with his family to another country; if he had stayed in canada, it likely would have lost it's appeal as the ideal place to live as he learned more about the real world

*He wasn't shielded from the ugliness in the world...there was plenty of that around where they lived in Canada.

He misses his Canadian family...spending time with his
grandparents, aunts/uncles and cousins...those family
ties are of real value to him...he feels the distance when they're in Indonesia.
Sometimes I wonder if Skyping actually helps or does
it make it worse?

Also...His family isn't well off,
no upscale neighborhood for them, they
started out in life in a used mobile home in Prince George.

It's hard being the oldest child and having closer ties to other relatives than one's younger siblings...who don't know
any difference...to his younger siblings, the family here in Canada are like a friend who they enjoy visiting but Indonesia is home for them...the youngest child has no memory of life in Canada because she was a baby when they first went to
the mission field--she can even speak Indonesian.






 
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BFine

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If he were my grandson I would offer to take him in so he can stay in Canada if he chooses. Sometimes people on fire for the Lord burn those close to them.

*He wouldn't leave his siblings nor would any of us even broach that subject.

It's something he will work through, our grandson isn't
being rebellious or disrespectful...he misses
the life he had and how it was easy to visit family
and friends.

He values family ties...unfortunately all of us are in
Canada...only two of us can even afford to go to Indonesia
and when his other grandfather and uncle visited them over a year ago in Indonesia...he was over the moon!!!
The other grandfather and uncle came back with thousands of photos to show all
of us, it was an amazing journey for them.
 
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