Comments made about my facial expressions

getty2010 · Aug 11, 2015

All my life family members and strangers have commented on my normal facial expression, it's been described as serious, angry, lost, a frown and not cheerful. The sad thing is only up until last year when I realised I had social anxiety did I notice that people where right after seeing myself in mirrors and window reflections just that the whole time I was in denial and thought I looked content not all the things they said. Now I'm trying to make an effort not to look so serious or unhappy but it's not natural for me to walk around with a grin on my face for no reason, I've tried practicing in the mirror which worked for a while when friends noticed I was smiling a lot but then I always seem to go back to my normal expression. Has any one else been told they need to smile more? Or had comments made about their normal facial expression especially in public?

I know as a Christian I shouldn't be worrying like this but I am really struggling to stop, can someone please give me guidance

LaSorcia · Aug 21, 2015

Social anxiety can be difficult enough to deal with without people making thoughtless comment like that. They most likely meant no harm though. Some personality types just don't show all their emotions on their face, and that is fine. I used to think there was something wrong with me for not being a social butterfly. Mainly because this was what I was continually told! I was told I was too serious and too idealistic as well. I now accept that I prefer one-on-one or small group interactions because I am an introvert, and this is completely valid and ok. We have a friend of the family who is an INTJ, and she always looks serious. This is ok, too.

It's always good to learn social skills though, no matter what your personality type. I have known many extraverted people who think they are good with people because they have no trouble opening their mouths and talking to anyone. Sadly, this does NOT always equate with being good with people.

It is also good to learn to feel comfortable in social situations, too, even if you are the serious, non-chatty type.

Goatee · Aug 21, 2015

Pic please so we can judge

LaSorcia · Aug 21, 2015

I think the last thing someone with social anxiety wants is to be looked at, judged and the center of attention. *I* wouldn't feel comfortable posting my pic to have people evaluate me.

Goatee · Aug 21, 2015

LaSorcia said:
I think the last thing someone with social anxiety wants is to be looked at, judged and the center of attention. *I* wouldn't feel comfortable posting my pic to have people evaluate me.

Well, we may be able to help!

LaSorcia · Aug 21, 2015

So true, and it's up to getty of course. But it's kinda like saying, "just trust me" to someone with paranoia lol.

jabattler1976 · Aug 22, 2015

I have to face the public for a living and I don't care
what they think of my expression

If they have problem that is their problem

NotworthyofHim · Aug 26, 2015

First of all, being a Christian doesn't mean you won't have days where you don't smile.. The Bible says to rejoice always..

Take comfort in the letter Philippians Paul had written to the church when he said I am content in whatever situation I am in, he had been saved for apparently over 20 years..

Understand we have emotions, we are made in God's image. Even God is sad at times, angry, compassionate, merciful, etc.. To have these emotions are not necessarily sin! So don't beat yourself up.. THAT IS "NOT" GOD'S WILL.

Some people just have a countenance of a mutual look.. Other times we as Christians can suffer and that can take away our smiling..

Understand there is a difference between joy and happiness! Joy is a fruit of the spirit we produce but happiness is not the same thing..

At times the world can beat us down, all the worst if there is anxiety.. I had it too, God I feel is still working on healing it.. But I know your pain.. People are telling me that even now haha..

You are not alone!! Let's ask God to heal you..

Father, we thank you for your mercies and grace. For your healing power, we thank you for a new day with new mercies. Father we come in agreement about a healing that needs to take place in this your child! Father we bind up the spirit of anxiety casting it out and commanding it never to return in the name of JESUS! Father I pray the blood of Jesus over your child, and ask you would exchange their worry and fears and anxieties for your peace.. We pray this in Jesus' mighty name, amen!

Don't lose your focus!!

3 Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.

4 Trust ye in the Lord for ever: for in the Lord Jehovahis everlasting strength:

The Lone Ranger · Aug 30, 2015

Seek advice from The Ruach Ha-Kodesh(Holy Spirit). He will guide you to many smiles.

Nessanessa · Sep 24, 2015

getty2010 said:
All my life family members and strangers have commented on my normal facial expression, it's been described as serious, angry, lost, a frown and not cheerful. The sad thing is only up until last year when I realised I had social anxiety did I notice that people where right after seeing myself in mirrors and window reflections just that the whole time I was in denial and thought I looked content not all the things they said. Now I'm trying to make an effort not to look so serious or unhappy but it's not natural for me to walk around with a grin on my face for no reason, I've tried practicing in the mirror which worked for a while when friends noticed I was smiling a lot but then I always seem to go back to my normal expression. Has any one else been told they need to smile more? Or had comments made about their normal facial expression especially in public?

I know as a Christian I shouldn't be worrying like this but I am really struggling to stop, can someone please give me guidance

Why dont you just focus on the inside and to heck with the outside? Even then, only God can really do the work. You are trying to be fake by not letting yourself be natural. Hang round people who love and accept the real you. You might just look in the mirror one day and find that frown has turned upside down

jabattler1976 · Oct 21, 2015

LaSorcia said:
Social anxiety can be difficult enough to deal with without people making thoughtless comment like that. They most likely meant no harm though. Some personality types just don't show all their emotions on their face, and that is fine. I used to think there was something wrong with me for not being a social butterfly. Mainly because this was what I was continually told! I was told I was too serious and too idealistic as well. I now accept that I prefer one-on-one or small group interactions because I am an introvert, and this is completely valid and ok. We have a friend of the family who is an INTJ, and she always looks serious. This is ok, too.

It's always good to learn social skills though, no matter what your personality type. I have known many extraverted people who think they are good with people because they have no trouble opening their mouths and talking to anyone. Sadly, this does NOT always equate with being good with people.

It is also good to learn to feel comfortable in social situations, too, even if you are the serious, non-chatty type.

jabattler1976 · Oct 21, 2015

' We have a friend of the family who is an INTJ, and she always looks serious. '

What is INTJ??

I am an introvert who has to face the public for a living.
It gets on my nerves sometimes - when people say odd things or they speak
without thinking first . I think most people don't care about the words they use..
it has an impact on the worker ..

I don't have any 'friends' - so I am in a difficult situation

brinny · Oct 21, 2015

getty2010 said:
All my life family members and strangers have commented on my normal facial expression, it's been described as serious, angry, lost, a frown and not cheerful. The sad thing is only up until last year when I realised I had social anxiety did I notice that people where right after seeing myself in mirrors and window reflections just that the whole time I was in denial and thought I looked content not all the things they said. Now I'm trying to make an effort not to look so serious or unhappy but it's not natural for me to walk around with a grin on my face for no reason, I've tried practicing in the mirror which worked for a while when friends noticed I was smiling a lot but then I always seem to go back to my normal expression. Has any one else been told they need to smile more? Or had comments made about their normal facial expression especially in public?

I know as a Christian I shouldn't be worrying like this but I am really struggling to stop, can someone please give me guidance

For now, let go of caring what others say/think about your facial expressions, etc. It is NOT your problem. It's THEIRS. DON'T own their problem.

NOBODY goes around smiling or grinning all the time, not even Jesus, nor any of the apostles.

There are some good responses here. Praying that God intervenes and ministers to you as only He can do in all of this and that healing commences from the inside, out.

LaSorcia · Oct 21, 2015

jabattler1976 said:
' We have a friend of the family who is an INTJ, and she always looks serious. '

What is INTJ??

I am an introvert who has to face the public for a living.
It gets on my nerves sometimes - when people say odd things or they speak
without thinking first . I think most people don't care about the words they use..
it has an impact on the worker ..

I don't have any 'friends' - so I am in a difficult situation

It's an Introverted, iNtuitive, Thinking and Judging personality type. This is according to Myers-Briggs personality theory and the Keirsey Temperament Sorter.

Here is a pretty decent description: http://personalityjunkie.com/the-intj/

The Lone Ranger · Oct 22, 2015

Some people are born with poker faces. They are difficult to read. And sometimes that can be a blessing.

The-Doctor · Oct 22, 2015

"What other people think of you is none of your business." Unknown

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