If I become a Christian, I'll face a necessity that surely must have been an obstacle for Christian converts before me– I can't be the only person in the world who wants to love God with all their heart, but wishes that Hell didn't exist. And while I sometimes lean towards annihilationism, I know that the prevailing opinion among Christians is that whoever isn't saved (with possible exceptions for young children, etc)– whoever isn't in Christ at the moment of their deaths– will suffer for eternity in literal or metaphorical fire.
I (almost) know– and want deeply to believe with all my heart– that everything God does is good and just, that if God created Hell or allowed it to come into being, then I am in the wrong to be upset or distraught by it. But it's still so hard to align my own sense of things with the fact that Hell is a work of supreme justice and supreme goodness.
Because I can't think of a single person, real or hypothetical, who deserves, in my eyes, to be tortured forever. I'd rather see Hitler and Stalin, rapists and murderers, enter Heaven than see a single soul thrown into Hell. That's my gut feeling. I must be wrong, but it's my gut feeling.
And that is, of course, to say nothing of my fear that I'll go to Hell– a fear that's hounded me since I became an agnostic and diminished noticeably only when I started thinking about God positively and hoping for Heaven.
So here are my questions: Is it wrong of me to wish that Hell didn't exist? Should I somehow make myself happy that it does? Should I just accept that I can't appreciate every aspect of God's goodness and leave it at that? And furthermore, does the existence of Hell trouble you at all? Do you feel any unease at the notion that people, people in the same sense that you and I are people, are going to experience unending agony? Is it a sin to feel such an unease? If so, how does one get rid of it?
If you think I ask to many questions here, you should see what I do to my poor dear mother.
I (almost) know– and want deeply to believe with all my heart– that everything God does is good and just, that if God created Hell or allowed it to come into being, then I am in the wrong to be upset or distraught by it. But it's still so hard to align my own sense of things with the fact that Hell is a work of supreme justice and supreme goodness.
Because I can't think of a single person, real or hypothetical, who deserves, in my eyes, to be tortured forever. I'd rather see Hitler and Stalin, rapists and murderers, enter Heaven than see a single soul thrown into Hell. That's my gut feeling. I must be wrong, but it's my gut feeling.
And that is, of course, to say nothing of my fear that I'll go to Hell– a fear that's hounded me since I became an agnostic and diminished noticeably only when I started thinking about God positively and hoping for Heaven.
So here are my questions: Is it wrong of me to wish that Hell didn't exist? Should I somehow make myself happy that it does? Should I just accept that I can't appreciate every aspect of God's goodness and leave it at that? And furthermore, does the existence of Hell trouble you at all? Do you feel any unease at the notion that people, people in the same sense that you and I are people, are going to experience unending agony? Is it a sin to feel such an unease? If so, how does one get rid of it?
If you think I ask to many questions here, you should see what I do to my poor dear mother.
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