Please pray that God takes me from this life, soon. I really don't think I have any purpose, or reason to keep living on like this. Let me explain.
I have constantly been bullied, both verbally, and physically, ever since I was a kid. All throughout grade school, middle school, high school, and beyond. In middle school I actually cursed my life (in a very strong way, similar to a strong prayer).
Furthermore, in high school, I still got bullied by others, on nearly a daily basis. I hated my life, so much back then, I actually joked a few times to my fellow classmates about that was I going to kill myself. Even, after graduating high school, and I was still being bullied. I eventually ended up being diagnosed with moderate Social Anxiety Disorder, because of it, and have to take medication for it, to this very day. I'm also going deaf, and am around 90% deaf, currently. So, I take it God never intended me to have a social life. Even, if I really prayed for a good social life, and friends...even if God literally put them in my face...my life is wrecked far to much with anxiety, to embrace such wonderful things.
Some of the things have improved, I think, because I've been taking medication for a long time. But, yeah, I still get ridiculed (albeit not near as much, as I used to), but overall, my life hasn't really improved, to a point where I could honestly say I was "happy" with it. Nothing has really changed, I'm just far more withdrawn, and thus more tolerant to being bullied, so it doesn't affect me, as much as it used to.
Anyhow, I'm not going to kill myself, in case if anyone was worried. That would be a sin. I'd much rather have The Lord take my life, himself. That would be wonderful. Being there up in Heaven with Jesus, is far better then anything my wretched life here on Earth has ever amounted to. Besides, anyways, I wouldn't "die" if God took me, because technically your Soul doesn't die (and Heaven, by extension, is not a plane for the Dead, but of the Living!).
Anyways, please pray for me! Be it, that you want the Lord to take my life, so I will be in Heaven, at last. Or, maybe, you could pray that the Lord could change my life for the better, so that I would enjoy my life more, instead of being so full of hatred towards myself. I know that the Lord can perform miracles, so I believe nothing is too great for Him! On the other hand, I could understand if God did wanted to take my life (if it's really my time, then I'm not one to argue with God!). I've already prayed for both of these things, already, but neither has seem to come to pass. Sadly, my flesh, and spirit has grown rather weak, and I usually end up praying for God to "please kill me", rather then asking God to improve my life.
Anyways, thank you for reading my post, and God Bless all of you!
I have constantly been bullied, both verbally, and physically, ever since I was a kid. All throughout grade school, middle school, high school, and beyond. In middle school I actually cursed my life (in a very strong way, similar to a strong prayer).
Furthermore, in high school, I still got bullied by others, on nearly a daily basis. I hated my life, so much back then, I actually joked a few times to my fellow classmates about that was I going to kill myself. Even, after graduating high school, and I was still being bullied. I eventually ended up being diagnosed with moderate Social Anxiety Disorder, because of it, and have to take medication for it, to this very day. I'm also going deaf, and am around 90% deaf, currently. So, I take it God never intended me to have a social life. Even, if I really prayed for a good social life, and friends...even if God literally put them in my face...my life is wrecked far to much with anxiety, to embrace such wonderful things.
Some of the things have improved, I think, because I've been taking medication for a long time. But, yeah, I still get ridiculed (albeit not near as much, as I used to), but overall, my life hasn't really improved, to a point where I could honestly say I was "happy" with it. Nothing has really changed, I'm just far more withdrawn, and thus more tolerant to being bullied, so it doesn't affect me, as much as it used to.
Anyhow, I'm not going to kill myself, in case if anyone was worried. That would be a sin. I'd much rather have The Lord take my life, himself. That would be wonderful. Being there up in Heaven with Jesus, is far better then anything my wretched life here on Earth has ever amounted to. Besides, anyways, I wouldn't "die" if God took me, because technically your Soul doesn't die (and Heaven, by extension, is not a plane for the Dead, but of the Living!).
Anyways, please pray for me! Be it, that you want the Lord to take my life, so I will be in Heaven, at last. Or, maybe, you could pray that the Lord could change my life for the better, so that I would enjoy my life more, instead of being so full of hatred towards myself. I know that the Lord can perform miracles, so I believe nothing is too great for Him! On the other hand, I could understand if God did wanted to take my life (if it's really my time, then I'm not one to argue with God!). I've already prayed for both of these things, already, but neither has seem to come to pass. Sadly, my flesh, and spirit has grown rather weak, and I usually end up praying for God to "please kill me", rather then asking God to improve my life.
Anyways, thank you for reading my post, and God Bless all of you!
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