The thing about online dating?

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The thing I dislike about online dating is how is it so impersonal and does not show the real you. What person can write their life in a few words. If you do not have a good job or make a lot of money women will pass over you.
I feel like it would easier to find someone in person and you don't have to pay to message someone who you met in real life.
 
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sundewgrower

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Yeah it isn't best.
They can quantify you fast. If they want marriage then they'll want serious and capable since they want the nice guy but also want to see one that isn't a slouch (some of course want high income. Not my type since I want simple). But sometimes money garners initial interest and not the actual value of the personality on the profile.
Since online dsting is impersonal its easier to make a split decision, and many girls do get a lot of inquiries so you must send numerous messages.
So yeah its not easy. Best defense I'm guessing is to write a really good profile, and separate yourself from most "normal" guys with their shallow motives.

I'll gear my profile to make me sound more info marriage, that I'm stable, and not doing terrible financially. Hopefully. Or maybe it'll help me out.
 
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Gnarwhal

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In some small ways, you can learn a lot about a person from their profile, but ultimately you're right: it's impersonal. I also feel it's unnatural. It's hypocritical of me to say that because I have/do use those resources, but I'm not convinced of them. I would much rather meet a girl as organically as possible. As the years go by though, that tends to become a bit more difficult.
 
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sundewgrower

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In some small ways, you can learn a lot about a person from their profile, but ultimately you're right: it's impersonal. I also feel it's unnatural. It's hypocritical of me to say that because I have/do use those resources, but I'm not convinced of them. I would much rather meet a girl as organically as possible. As the years go by though, that tends to become a bit more difficult.
I just wish people would give others the time of day if they get a message.
One girl kindly declined, and I said I'd pray that she'd find the right one.
I'd do that for a girl that sends me a message... Nice guys finish last? Not true but sometimes I wonder.
 
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Messy

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The thing I dislike about online dating is how is it so impersonal and does not show the real you. What person can write their life in a few words. If you do not have a good job or make a lot of money women will pass over you.
I feel like it would easier to find someone in person and you don't have to pay to message someone who you met in real life.
Yes it's so unnatural.
They have one here with a whole list about important things. That's very handy. It's questions like: would you live together? A whole lot of Christians here say: depends on her, so that's a skip.
They have a forum, but almost noone uses it.
You have to answer everyone and be friendly. Exhausting.
 
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sundewgrower

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OKC isn't half bad since you can soft by how compatible via questions. Helps somewhat..
But yeah. In the end. My profile photo isn't even my personality. I'm usually smiling, laughing, and otherwise happy not some stark stare... Hmm. Not sure about it all.
 
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Messy

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Another weird thing: you share your whole past with a stranger who lives nearby in the middle of the night. Lol we would normally not even speak if we met each other in the playground or just say Hi.
Would be weird if I met him on the street, lol.
 
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Travelers.Soul

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Online dating sites, yes I've used them, but honestly it seems more like a meat market than anything else. After a while, all those faces and profiles just blur into one big blob. People, men and women, have some really unrealistic expectations too. I know a few people who have meet, dated, and married people they've meet off them so that is the only reason I gave it a shot. My experience has been that those sites are littered with a good dose of con-artists and users. I would rather meet a guy in the real world but since I live in small town, USA and most guys my age are married...well you can see the problem.
 
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ReesePiece23

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It ALL depends on:-

- Your type of personality
- How well you can communicate through the written word
- Your circumstances - i.e. a high power career guy, living in the sticks, isn't going to have the means to meet people easily
- What YOU personally like - never mind what everyone else says you SHOULD do
- If you wish to meet a broad range of personalties within a condensed environment
- If you're open minded and open to experimentation

Now, I made a POF account ONCE - it was a couple of years ago now, and my account was only live for a few days before I axed it. However, this isn't to say that I haven't used the internet - through other channels, to communicate with the fairer sex to GREAT effect. You just need to let go of the stigma that's attached to 'internet dating' and just enjoy yourself regardless as to what everybody else thinks.
 
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Goodbook

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Just out of interest...which ones did you guys use?
Maybe it depends on the site, some of them are actually scams.

Eg. My cousin who is now married with children went to Christian Cafe. So, if I were recommending any, it would be that one, but thats only for people living in Canada or North america.

These are the ones Ive heard if that seem to be scams OR heavily used by scammers.
Match.com
E-harmoney
Connecting single
Findsomeone
Nzdate...or some such, I know was like the top site for 'swingers' ie ppl wanting to commit adultery etc
Christian Mingle
Facebook...if you wan to date your old highschool friends. No thanks. A group on there got busted for actually messaging girls then raping them and oosting videos on the site to share with their friends. Ugh.

So..if you want to be part of this cesspool..go dive right in...
 
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Messy

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I used a Dutch one only for Christians.
On another one like that I met a weirdo, but now I learned it's not wise to say yes if someone wants to come over to my place.
No scammers there. I went to an international one which was free, it was full off scammers and Nigerian princes.
Christian café sounds good, I looked there a few times, there were also people from Europe. They have a forum. One married couple on cf met there.
 
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Travelers.Soul

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I tried E-Harmony and met guys who only seemed interested in hooking up.
I am on CM right now (I will not be renewing). I have made some friends, met a con-artist who wanted my money (what an idiot), and strange men who think I should submit to them...um no. On the whole, if I didn't live in small town, USA I would never use an online dating service.
 
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sundewgrower

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Online dating can attract weirdos that can't make it in the real world.
Those who want to find a special somebody and are a tad eccentric (partially me I guess)..
Plus older people where it's harder to find singles, and finally of course the hookups.
So. I can say with assurance OKC is good for the 20 somethings.
But of course, being a guy gives you marginal success rates, and finding somebody in your town could be taxing.
I might give it a whirl soon to see if I can find another friend, last one lasted a long time but she was young, and didn't have enough emotional maturity to see how she was sabotaging things.
 
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Gnarwhal

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Online dating can attract weirdos that can't make it in the real world.
Those who want to find a special somebody and are a tad eccentric (partially me I guess)..
Plus older people where it's harder to find singles, and finally of course the hookups.
So. I can say with assurance OKC is good for the 20 somethings.
But of course, being a guy gives you marginal success rates, and finding somebody in your town could be taxing.
I might give it a whirl soon to see if I can find another friend, last one lasted a long time but she was young, and didn't have enough emotional maturity to see how she was sabotaging things.

I've noticed this a lot with my region on OKCupid and such. You have a lot of women who got pregnant at a young age and for whatever reason they're single moms. I regret to say I'm not very trusting of these women, even though they say they work hard to support their kid(s), it sometimes feels like they're looking for a sugar daddy.
 
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SnowyMacie

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I seriously tried online dating for several months this past winter and spring. I'm not going to question their accuracy or anything, I was usually appealed by the matches that I received from both eHarmony and Match, but in my experience it is easier to find someone in real life. Also, in my own experience, the majority, not all, of people on online dating are usually there because they cannot find a date either because their expectations are too high or some other reason (too busy or somehow undateable).
 
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