[PERMANENTLY CLOSED] Gay couple Accused of raping 5 of their 9 adopted children.

ken777 said:

You would tell the man getting married and having children was a mistake? Do not be surprised if he slaps your face and walks out. A good therapist never tells a client how he should feel or what he should do. Unwanted SSA is most definitely a disorder in the lives of those who are afflicted.

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If it is the case of course I would tell him it was a mistake. Chances appear good that it was a mistake. If he were to slap my face and walk out I would be sure I was right. He wouldn't react with such extremity if I hadn't been right on the mark.
I also wasn't presuming to be someone's therapist in this hypothetical. I also am or wouldn't tell another how to feel. If I were actually performing therapy chances would be good that I would be directing him to uncover the truth of his situation. We would be discussing his homosexual orientation and and why he why it is unwanted. He would be educated that the only disorder is not wanting an immutable aspect of his personality.

Mattao said:

How would that garner any attention at all, let alone an apology?

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You started a thread about a case, other posters showed that the case was later thrown out due to lack of evidence. I would think that is worth your attention.

When I am shown to be in error I usually correct my self and apologize for it but that's just me.

Mattao said:

Where did I say this?

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In the post I quoted from you seemed incensed that people are posting under pseudonyms in the thread that you started.

Mattao said:

Reported

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Easy, that button can wear out from over use.

kit said:

If it is the case of course I would tell him it was a mistake. Chances appear good that it was a mistake. If he were to slap my face and walk out I would be sure I was right. He wouldn't react with such extremity if I hadn't been right on the mark.
I also wasn't presuming to be someone's therapist in this hypothetical. I also am or wouldn't tell another how to feel. If I were actually performing therapy chances would be good that I would be directing him to uncover the truth of his situation. We would be discussing his homosexual orientation and and why he why it is unwanted. He would be educated that the only disorder is not wanting an immutable aspect of his personality.

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If you called any man's children a mistake you would deserve an extreme response.
I have been involved with a church support group for people with SSA who have chosen their own personal, social & religious goals. For them it is a disorder because it conflicts with what is most important in their life. It is only arrogance that allows anyone to presume to tell another what priorities they should have in life.

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ken777 said:

You do not get to tell a person what is or is not a disorder in his/her life. If something is causing a person distress and is preventing him/her from achieving the life goals they have determined for themselves, it is a disorder.
I wonder what you would tell the married man with several children who experiences SSA?

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"Have you considered pitching the idea of a threesome to your wife?"

Seriously though, in mental health, great care is taken to differentiate between disorders and simply problematic situations. A mental state is only to be considered a disorder if it is inherently harmful. What you described is not. There are plenty of gay people who are perfectly happy being gay and have no problem with it. This guy, though? His scenario is such that him being gay is a real problem for him. This doesn't make it a disorder. It means he should get some counseling and talk about it with his wife.

Desk trauma said:

You started a thread about a case, other posters showed that the case was later thrown out due to lack of evidence. I would think that is worth your attention.

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We should not base generalizations on one case.
The reasons this particular case did not proceed are troubling.

The Cadet said:

"Have you considered pitching the idea of a threesome to your wife?"

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You are now on ignore.

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Mattao said:

Never mind

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I said "we" ... not you.

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Mattao said:

Actually by forum rules, this person is knowingly trying to upset you. They dont have to openly insult you in order to be making an effort to be insulting and you can report them. The admins will review the conversation and if it looks like you were right the poster will be dealt with accordingly.

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I have never reported anyone - I think it is just immaturity. There is hope for everyone

Mattao said:

So let me get this straight. There is a reason I should be apologetic because someone proved me wrong on a debate forum?

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The story you posted was about a case that was shown to be without merit some time ago. Had I done so I would have apologized for posting something that was shown to be inaccurate but again, that's just me.

Mattao said:

I never said I disliked people for anything. There is not a single solitary thing I said I disliked anyone for.

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Your rather strident remarks in post #27 gave me the very clear impression that you disliked anonymous posting going so far as to call others cowards for doing so and demanding apologies for it. I have never seen coward used as a term of endearment, is that how you use the word?

ken777 said:

We should not base generalizations on one case.
The reasons this particular case did not proceed are troubling.

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Would you care to elaborate?

Thank you kindly.

brinny said:

Would you care to elaborate?
Thank you kindly.

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Did you look at the link?

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ken777 said:

You are now on ignore.

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Well, okay then. I don't see why what I said was so bizarre or out-of-line (it's an example straight out of my own life and it went pretty darn well for all involved parties), but okay.

Traditional, monogamous, heterosexual relationships aren't for everyone. And not everyone who gets into one of those relationships stays happy with those conditions the whole way through (why do you think that such a massive proportion of married couples cheat? Some studies pin the number as high as 75%). And in many such cases, divorce is not automatically the most immediately attractive solution. In those cases, opening up the relationship to others can really help. It's not the norm, it's not typical, but it beats cheating and it's way better than divorce in most cases.

...But of course, it's completely unbiblical, so no matter how many people it helps, it can't actually be permitted, tolerated, or even conceived of. Somehow I keep running into these situations where biblical morality and just straight-up doing the right thing are directly opposed. And somehow, biblical morality is the right solution. Hmm.

ken777 said:

If you called any man's children a mistake you would deserve an extreme response.
I have been involved with a church support group for people with SSA who have chosen their own personal, social & religious goals. For them it is a disorder because it conflicts with what is most important in their life. It is only arrogance that allows anyone to presume to tell another what priorities they should have in life.

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Well now there is an example of twisting my words into a whole new manifestation.

Yes it is arrogance to presume to tell another what priorities they should have in life. Telling them that their Sexual orientation isn't compatible with their personal, social, and religious goals fits that to a tee. Creating pseudo-scientific "disorders" is arrogance designed to presume to tell another what priorities they should have in life.

ken777 said:

Did you look at the link?

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I'm sorry, i must've missed it...which link?

Thank you.

kit said:

Telling them that their Sexual orientation isn't compatible with their personal, social, and religious goals fits that to a tee.

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Firstly I have never told anyone that. However, people have told me that about themselves.

It seems you are not aware that that sexual attraction is on a continuum with people located in different places on that continuum. To make it even more complex, the intensity of sexual attraction in many individuals can vary over time. You need to factor that into your understanding.

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ken777 said:

Firstly I have never told anyone that. However, people have told me that about themselves.

It seems you are not aware that that sexual attraction is on a continuum with people located in different places on that continuum. To make it even more complex, the intensity of sexual attraction in many individuals can vary over time. You need to factor that into your understanding.

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You may have noticed I have avoided speaking in absolutes. You clearly didn't figure out why.

brinny said:

I'm sorry, i must've missed it...which link?
Thank you.

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In post # 46 the words in blue are a link ("The reason").