tied to our homes

Why are people so tied to their homes that they don't think moving is ever an option?

We refuse to move our kids away from their friends/schools...except we forget that one day, they will graduate and do just that...and not have ever learned the skills of relocating and making new friends.

We complain that we can't find a job...but limit our job search to a certain area because we can't possibly start a new life where there is a good job.

What is the fear of moving? I find I grow every time I move. I get new experiences and meet new people ... and learn about new cultures and history. When my kids are out of the house, I am considering travel nursing for a period of time for that very reason.

Ken Yehuwdiy said:

Loving your family is also a reason for staying. It's hard enough to find some people you can trust, so if you are lucky enough and did so, moving isn't a very smart thing to do.

Click to expand...

God often calls people to leave their families....at least your extended family.... Moving doesn't mean you quit loving them. I will say that for a divorced couple, they should stay in the same location until the kids are grown....kids need both parents.

Goodbook said:

Read the book of Ruth..
I would say..prolly cos of family, and also your roots there with the land, garden, animals.
I have lived one place all my life..which is good in some ways but bad in others.

If a job opportunity or new situation did come up sure I would move but it is scary to just up and move if theres nothing actually calling you to move and you don't have a job and no way to make a living. You could be homeless, get ripped off, it could not be what you thought it was.
Some people are happy where they are. And that's good and secure, but children don't really have a choice where they live, they just follow their parents, or family and make the best of it.
Moving and leaving everything behind is tough, but just exploring a new place is different if you know you actually have a home to come back to. Its very traumatic for people I think. Try not to judge people, not everyone is mobile, or has the money and means to move.

Click to expand...

I was really referring to people who have a reason to move...and seem to believe the "can't". People who sit and complain about no jobs but won't considering going to where the jobs actually are....that type of thing...not people who just move for the sake of moving.

So ironic that you think I have a lot of money. I guess I got the answer to my question though. I have only moved to get a better life and stay put when it is economically feasible. Maybe it is different in other parts of the world, but I watch people who struggle without jobs or are severely underemployed when good jobs do exist but require a step of faith and a move. I have seen people find love but aren't willing to leave the old to invest in the new. I am not talking about moving for the sake of moving.

When I was young, I was engaged. My fiance at the time was going in the military when we graduated from college and was being stationed across the country. We had a few issues as we got closer to the wedding date and I ended up ending the engagement because I knew we weren't ready to get married. Years later, I wondered why nobody even suggested that I just get a job in the area of where he was stationed and go on my own (own apartment and job) and give the relationship a chance to finish growing. Instead, they were willing to let me get married or thought I should move back home. I was young and heartbroken because I did love the man but knew we weren't ready for that "forever" commitment. The idea that I had the third option never dawned on me. I wish even one person would have suggested that it was something to even consider.
Much older and after my husband died, I did move across the country to see where a new relationship would go. It actually went to pot pretty quickly (so glad I didn't think I had to get married to move). However, the move was a huge blessing to both my kids and my lives. I was able to find an affordable school program and now have a new career. Funny though, the area was economically in a depression and I was surrounded by people out of work who were afraid to move to where there were good jobs. Listening to stories about how they were struggling was so hard when they told me that there were "no jobs anywhere" and I knew that many of them could have easily found good jobs back where I was from if they would just be willing to expand their horizons and job search.

Yes it does take some money to move but there are cheaper ways to do things. We originally only went with what fit in our car and made do...buying stuff as we needed it at thrift stores. The rest went into storage until we were settled in and could afford to go back and get it. We lived in a month by month place initially...until we settled in. Heck, when I was a kid, we lived in a hotel for a few weeks while my mom worked her new job (over 1000 miles away) to save enough for the downpayment on an apartment. I didn't even realize that we were basically classified "homeless" for a month...that didn't even dawn on me until I was in my 40's. We used a cooler as our refrigerator and ate lots of sandwiches and cereal during that time. Home was were my mom and brother were...didn't matter what state it was in or who our neighbors were. (My dad had left and wasn't involved in our lives...I was glad to be away from the places that seemed to haunt us with his absence). And trust me, this wasn't the Hilton or even Holiday in. It was bare bones and probably had hookers working out of the back of it...so we were not allowed to leave the room without my mother with us. However, it was clean and we were safe enough.

Well, the move across the country after my husband died... so about 5 years ago
the fear that never even let me consider moving to be near my fiance would have been about 25 years ago
being homeless as a teenager, almost 35 years ago...

why does it matter? when you are dead broke, you are dead broke...doesn't matter what year it is

I am not saying it is easy or even the best option every time...but if you can live in your car for a week or two in order to have a job that pays a living wage, it might be worth it....

Again, I was primarily thinking about the families who wouldn't move away from their extended families so that dad could actually get a job...and singles who cling to familiarity even when it isn't in their best interest to stay put....

For others, staying put is the best choice....I am not saying move without a job in place. And if your job is a low skilled job, maybe moving is only feasible if you are going to some place with a lower cost of living but equal wages...so your money goes further.

I don't think most people are as stuck as they think they are. But again that is my opinion and I am allowed to have it. (The one exception is that I do not believe it is in the best interest to move a child away from a non-custodial parent who is trying to participate in their life....but they don't stay minors forever).

(If it matters, I am working 48 hour weeks (actually 52 hours this week) to save up to buy a newer used car before our two (17 years old and 12 year old) cars need one more major repair....I would consider doing an additional 12 hour shift if allowed and I don't feel unsafe doing it. I'm am considering a 3rd job to get those extra hours.)