I Didn't See This Coming

If you're feeling lonely it may be better to assign a portion of your post-bill income towards social events, and embracing the potential short term connections available to you (and who knows, perhaps they'll keep going if you do move far away), if nothing more than for your well being. Part of me thinks it is better to build short term connections than to avoid building them at all, even if logically it seems pointless to do so.

Of course I completely get why you went the way you did to start with. You're right, it makes sense. Short term, need to save, cut out the socialising. Totally get it. But socialising is, for some people, a rather important part of maintaining their well being . It does them no good to cut it out.

TX_Matt said:

As many of you guys know, I had to move back in with my parents due to financial reasons. I've been back home for a month, and I'm starting to get extremely lonely. To be honest, I didn't see that part coming. The only offline social interactions I'm having are with my coworkers, customers, and my parents on weekends and the evenings my days off. 100% of my income not going to bills is going into savings, I'm spending nothing on entertainment or going out in any sense. I was even planning back in the Spring of making a trip to Dallas, which now I'm not doing because I don't want to spend the money. Not just the money, part of the reason I don't want to establish any social life here is that it's only going to be for maybe six months tops.

It sounded like a good idea until recently when I've started to feel lonely. I don't really have any friends left in Houston, the only people I regularly see about my age are my coworkers. I definitely felt homesick in Denver at times, but I never felt lonely, there was always some connection I felt somewhere.

Should I maybe re-think the whole "No social life while I'm here" thing?

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Having a social life does not mean having to spend money; be creative; find ways of spending time with other people without spending much money; perhaps try to spend none at all.

If your parents have neighbours maybe offer to help them with their gardening; don't do it for money. You will find the social contacts sort themselves out.

Go join some meetup group with people who are into the same things as you. I have a meetup group that I meet with for running.

Get a motorcycle and join a outlaw motorcycle club and chase women on the weekends.

You mean to tell us that your moms loving hugs and good soup is not enough to keep you happy?

Tom Mix said:

Get a motorcycle and join a outlaw motorcycle club and chase women on the weekends.

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Which one? The Hells Angels perhaps?

TX_Matt said:

Should I maybe re-think the whole "No social life while I'm here" thing?

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I don't see why not. Having moved quite a bit over the past few years, I can say that it does stink sometimes to establish relationships and then move. But I don't think you'll regret having done it. Romantic relationships might be a different story.

Yes, rethink that.

Having a savings account is good, but I would honestly suggest making a budget. This will help you learn to manage your money better anyway rather than just throwing everything that's left into savings. Budget your portion of the bills, budget some for going out/entertainment, budget some for investment.

TX_Matt said:

Should I maybe re-think the whole "No social life while I'm here" thing?

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I think you should try and have a social life while spending as little amount of money as possible. And if you do spend money try and make it back again by extra work or sacrificing something that you would have spent money on. Try and keep your priorities straight if your in trouble. God bless.

TX_Matt said:

As many of you guys know, I had to move back in with my parents due to financial reasons. I've been back home for a month, and I'm starting to get extremely lonely. To be honest, I didn't see that part coming. The only offline social interactions I'm having are with my coworkers, customers, and my parents on weekends and the evenings my days off. 100% of my income not going to bills is going into savings, I'm spending nothing on entertainment or going out in any sense. I was even planning back in the Spring of making a trip to Dallas, which now I'm not doing because I don't want to spend the money. Not just the money, part of the reason I don't want to establish any social life here is that it's only going to be for maybe six months tops.

It sounded like a good idea until recently when I've started to feel lonely. I don't really have any friends left in Houston, the only people I regularly see about my age are my coworkers. I definitely felt homesick in Denver at times, but I never felt lonely, there was always some connection I felt somewhere.

Should I maybe re-think the whole "No social life while I'm here" thing?

Click to expand...

I think there's a middle ground. You can engage in socializing and whatnot without the burden of feeling like your cultivating long-term friendships or relationships that will just be tossed in the rubbish pile in a few months if/when you move away. Sometimes it's as easy as communicating to anyone you hang out with that you intend to move away soon.

Either way, loneliness can be brutal, if you're not wired to spend an abnormal time alone then it's virtually imperative you reach out and try to connect with people.

It could be worse. You could be in a nightmare relationship wishing you were single.

TX_Matt said:

My family doesn't eat soup.

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No wonder you are lonely!

GQ Chris said:

Which one? The Hells Angels perhaps?

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If he is in Texas it has to be the Banditos.

Why do you have to move away in six months?

We are ALL made to be social beings. Introverts and extroverts alike.

We don't all need the same level of socializing, or socialize in the same way but God created us to need socializing. IF it were what God wanted, you wouldn't be so lonely so early in IMO. When we follow His plan, there will be times now and then of unhappiness, but in the grand scheme of things we will be happy. If you do not have that joy.... I say def. rethink.

Thinking of and having future plans are good, however, none of us are promised a tomorrow so moderation today for a plan in the future is a good thing. However, robbing yourself of joy completely for a future that may not be is not the way to go.

Plan, but enjoy today..... God will take care of tomorrow.
Even IF it doesn't happen within 6 months, will it really be the end of the world if it takes 7 instead and the trade off is you don't spend those 6 months you can never get back in misery? Having a goal and a planned time is good, it means that you will stay focused on the goal. However don't set it all in YOUR time frame unwaveringly.... IF you go on your time table and not on God's it will simply end in disaster, no matter how much planning you do.