I'm so confused. I start to question my salvation every time I get angry, annoyed, and impatient. I look at Todd White (YouTube guy on fire for god.) and I'm like man that's how a christian is supposed to look like! Then I feel so convicted because no matter how hard I try to get God to make me that way it doesn't work. I've been striving so hard to be on fire for God and to be free from sin that I feel lost. I want the same passion for God as Todd White does but even when I ask God I don't get any answers. I've been in the word a lot and I'm just so sick of wondering If I'm saved or not because of the things I do! I feel like I have to be completely free from sin like Todd White and Dan Mohler in order to be a true christian and be saved. How do I be free? I'm willing to give up everything if it means this is really true!?
Friend, God isn't looking at you and thinking, "Good grief! This guy is so far from being like Todd or Dan!" No, God's standard is waaaay higher. He wants you to be
like Christ. I can tell you with certainty that as righteous as Todd and Dan may appear to you to be, compared to Christ, they have a very, very, veeerrrry long way to go.
You know, it sounds like you're trying awfully hard to be who you
already are - in Christ. When you were saved, you were fundamentally transformed and made a new creature in Christ. You gained a new spiritual position before God. You are made righteous and sanctified, and are united with Christ in his death, burial and resurrection; you are seated with Christ in the heavenlies and made a joint-heir with him. So, the question is, then, are you living like it?
You can't be who you don't know yourself to be. "The me I see is the me I'll be." Many Christians go about totally ignorant of who they are in Christ. And it shows! They don't know that they have been made dead to sin; they don't know that they are new creatures in Christ; they don't know they are kings and priests unto God; they don't know that God has given them His Holy Spirit. And because they don't know these things, they just keep living like the person they've always been and wondering why the Christian life is so impossible.
It may help you also to understand that you are not saved by virtue of your good living. God saves you because of your faith in Christ and what he did for you on the cross. That's it. You are accepted by God and declared righteous before Him because of your faith in the Saviour. No matter how much you stumble and fall your salvation is secure because it doesn't rest on you and your capacity to live righteously.
Knowing who you are in Christ, knowing what your spiritual identity is, will help you be who God has made you to be, but making your spiritual position a reality in your daily experience, your condition, requires the power of God's Spirit. And the only way to have the power of God's Spirit flowing freely in your life is for you to get low, to submit to God's will and way in every part of your life, to be convinced that of yourself you have no ability whatever to be like Christ. Surrender to God, yield to the leading and conviction of His Spirit, and depend entirely upon him to bring your spiritual position in Christ into your daily condition. As the saying goes, "Let go and let God." Let go of Self-effort; let go of self-will; let go of self-interest and moment-by-moment let God have full reign in your life.
Romans 12:1
1 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service.
Romans 6:13
13 And do not present your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin, but present yourselves to God as being alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God.
Selah.