I have kissed dating goodbye!

Catherineanne

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I feel my rules and what I want in a woman would be to hard on a. woman. One rule among many is no kissing until our engagement this is because I want to say pure. I have kissed dating goodbye and put the need for dating to bed.

That is your choice. I think you might be rather better off asking the woman what she wants in a prospective husband and living up to that, rather than setting your rules and saying in effect take it or leave it.

Personally I would be very concerned if my daughter were to get engaged, and plan a wedding, without having ever kissed her fiance. My main concern would be that her fiance might be rather less interested in women than he might be. In other words, gay.
 
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SkyWriting

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in a way no, if I could go back in time I would. Yet seriously, I have given up and now it is God turn to tell me when I ready.

You are not the issue.
That's the starter.
 
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Messy

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I come from a kissing family...so is this all forms of kissing or only making out? I mean we kiss friends, cousins, and grandparents both hello and good-bye. And depending on the level of intimacy, sometimes on the lips. It isn't sexual...it is a sign of love.
On the lips? With a birthday we give three kisses on your cheek, left right left.
 
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CCHIPSS

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It's only weird when you use the culture perspective we live in right now. The thing is, there are many benefits for not kissing.

A lot of people use the arguement that you have to see if you have chemistry before marriage. You can know that without kissing. You build a bond that is not dependent on physical attraction, and that becomes stronger than physical attraction.

This breed of Christians, never kissing and never holding hands while dating, are very rare. I mean 80% of the Christians went all the way and had sex with someone else, before finding and marrying to their spouse. Those that hung on and is a virgin at marriage is already the "better" 20%, in this one aspect.

So it is weird because it is very far from the norm. Is it better or not is another topic.
 
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CCHIPSS

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That is your choice. I think you might be rather better off asking the woman what she wants in a prospective husband and living up to that, rather than setting your rules and saying in effect take it or leave it.

Personally I would be very concerned if my daughter were to get engaged, and plan a wedding, without having ever kissed her fiance. My main concern would be that her fiance might be rather less interested in women than he might be. In other words, gay.

I think everyone has the right to draw the line somewhere (either hand holding, kissing or more). And if the lady decides to walk because of that line, that is her choice.
 
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historyincognito

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I am not interested in dating any more. I am a born again guy and don't feel the need for any reason to date. God has make every one of us different and maybe there is a woman out that will like me for who I am. Which does not make a guy strange or unusual if he wants to stay single.
 
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SarahsKnight

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I come from a kissing family...so is this all forms of kissing or only making out? I mean we kiss friends, cousins, and grandparents both hello and good-bye. And depending on the level of intimacy, sometimes on the lips. It isn't sexual...it is a sign of love.

And it's nice to have such relationships with people you love and trust. Still, I admire Incognito's desire to kiss only the woman he will marry. I myself have that goal. Having kissed a few others before marriage certainly isn't anything to be condemned, but, you know, why not save whatever you can for your future spouse if possible? There's certainly no harm in that.
 
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ViaCrucis

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Whatever floats your boat.

Speaking personally I find the modern Cult of Purity very disconcerting. I'm not saying don't wait until marriage or don't have your own ground rules; I'm saying that there is a subcultural stigma within some Christian circles that has propped up a concept of "purity" that can border on being creepy and often can result in extreme dysfunction and abuse. Women who grow up in "purity"-heavy environments often subconsciously (if not consciously) hear a message that their feminine self-worth is dependent upon their virginal chastity, they are further taught they must save themselves for their future husband. It is a callback to a chauvinistic period of women as, in effect, the property of their fathers until they become property of their husbands. There are even occasions where women are expected to vow their purity to their fathers, there are "purity balls" where fathers and daughters attend. What happens then when she finally finds a husband? She has been raised in an environment where husbands and fathers "know best" and women are to be submissive and docile. What happens then when there is domestic abuse? the mantra becomes "submit to your husband"--this even comes out of the mouths of pastors.

I think it's dangerous to think in these terms. Again, I'm not saying don't wait. But wait because you want to, not because it's what is expected of you. That goes to both men and women. Abide by your conscience, not the will of a destructive "purity" culture.

-CryptoLutheran
 
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EazyMack

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However, I am open to hear everyone's thoughts on this....but right now I have heard nothing from anyone that justifies that position beyond extended guilt.
And none of us who are voicing support for the matter are expecting you to feel the same way, lol.

But wait because you want to, not because it's what is expected of you.
Yeah, from the way it sounds from myself and the two other people who think it's not such a bad idea to save the first kiss for the alter, we are speaking from experiences of not waiting (as in having sex before marriage), and what kinds of safeguards can be put in place to help us wait next time.

Which seems to have been completely lost in the shuffle here, somehow.
 
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SkyWriting

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You know what God has a place for everyone in his world and I have been single for all these years for reason.

God doesn't run this world. Satan is the God of this world.
So don't think that this world is a sitcom for your benefit.
 
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fromtheAsh

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Whatever floats your boat.

Speaking personally I find the modern Cult of Purity very disconcerting. I'm not saying don't wait until marriage or don't have your own ground rules; I'm saying that there is a subcultural stigma within some Christian circles that has propped up a concept of "purity" that can border on being creepy and often can result in extreme dysfunction and abuse. Women who grow up in "purity"-heavy environments often subconsciously (if not consciously) hear a message that their feminine self-worth is dependent upon their virginal chastity, they are further taught they must save themselves for their future husband. It is a callback to a chauvinistic period of women as, in effect, the property of their fathers until they become property of their husbands. There are even occasions where women are expected to vow their purity to their fathers, there are "purity balls" where fathers and daughters attend. What happens then when she finally finds a husband? She has been raised in an environment where husbands and fathers "know best" and women are to be submissive and docile. What happens then when there is domestic abuse? the mantra becomes "submit to your husband"--this even comes out of the mouths of pastors.

I think it's dangerous to think in these terms. Again, I'm not saying don't wait. But wait because you want to, not because it's what is expected of you. That goes to both men and women. Abide by your conscience, not the will of a destructive "purity" culture.

-CryptoLutheran

I couldn't agree with this more. My church didn't go as far as "purity balls", but we were more than encouraged to remain pure, even given purity rings and told to wear them on our left ring finger. It really didn't go beyond that, but I found it to be bit odd that it seemed remaining pure was more important for girls than guys.
 
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LoveDivine

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You know what God has a place for everyone in his world and I have been single for all these years for reason.

I agree with your outlook. There is nothing odd or weird about a person who is content with being single. I think that is a very admirable quality. I also agree that God uses all different types of people in different stations of life. A person who chooses to remain single should not be viewed as a failure or abnormal. God has different plans for everyone's lives.

Good for you for being bold enough to share your own personal convictions in this thread. It can take a lot of courage to live a lifestyle that is very different from the accepted norm.
 
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Faithfulandtrue

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I am not interested in dating any more. I am a born again guy and don't feel the need for any reason to date. God has make every one of us different and maybe there is a woman out that will like me for who I am. Which does not make a guy strange or unusual if he wants to stay single.
amen! Don't let anyone here discourage you! Your posts actually gave me hope that there are men like you in the world , respectable and pure which is very encouraging to me. You're NOT at all weird or strict but have an actually very beautiful respect and love for the future spouse God has planned for you. Don't let the world or anyone here stop you from feeling that way. :)
 
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