What if you can't love your enemies?

As above <3

grasping the after wind said:

Hate is the natural response to being hurt by someone. How does one find the strength to not hate the killer of one's spouse or one's child or one's best friend? There are some recent examples of people being able to rise above that reaction but the norm is quite different.

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Thanks. This helps for me to understand what causes people to hate. I asked op why he hates people. I asked because he said he hates quite a lot. I just wonder about this, whether somehow his hurts are not necessary, and it might indicate some other problem underlying it. Eg, control.

nightflight said:

To love those who hate you and to whom you hate back; who can do this? I could never be a Christian; I'm too hateful.

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Before I was a Christian, I could not love my enemies. Being a Christian made all the difference. God did a work in me and now I can pray for my enemies and love them. It doesn't mean I have to like them or condone what they have done, but I can pray and love.

KimT said:

Before I was a Christian, I could not love my enemies. Being a Christian made all the difference. God did a work in me and now I can pray for my enemies and love them. It doesn't mean I have to like them or condone what they have done, but I can pray and love.

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There really is no way for us to explain rationally, the change that takes place when we allow Him to have His way with us.

nightflight said:

To love those who hate you and to whom you hate back; who can do this? I could never be a Christian; I'm too hateful.

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It's via prayer- and you're right- it isn't an easy thing to do. I actually have a prayer thread about that very topic on the Christian persecution board. http://www.christianforums.com/threads/prayers-for-enemies.7766599/

The apostle Paul (Saul) was full of hate for Christians. He persecuted them. Then he became a Christian and God filled him with love. It's really not complicated but it is impossible to explain until you have experienced it.

KimT said:

The apostle Paul (Saul) was full of hate for Christians. He persecuted them. Then he became a Christian and God filled him with love. It's really not complicated but it is impossible to explain until you have experienced it.

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In Paul's case though, Christians were no longer his enemies and did not hate him so it does not actually apply to that relationship. The enemies he then needed to love were his former allies who I am sure hated him for what they saw as his treachery.

nightflight said:

To love those who hate you and to whom you hate back; who can do this? I could never be a Christian; I'm too hateful.

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To love someone is to know, will and do the good of the other. It's not to have mushy feelings toward him: it's possible to resent someone, to not like him even a little bit, and yet still love him.

grasping the after wind said:

In Paul's case though, Christians were no longer his enemies and did not hate him so it does not actually apply to that relationship. The enemies he then needed to love were his former allies who I am sure hated him for what they saw as his treachery.

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I didn't reference whom he loved after his conversion. His letters were full of love. Devoting your life to preaching the Gospel without regard to your own comfort or safety IS love.

nightflight said:

To love those who hate you and to whom you hate back; who can do this? I could never be a Christian; I'm too hateful.

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Don't worry, love isn't an emotion. It is an action. Just be kind to your enemies. You can do that.

oi_antz said:

There really is no way for us to explain rationally, the change that takes place when we allow Him to have His way with us.

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Amen because it is the miraculous work of the Holy Spirit moving in us.

Forgiveness doesn't just free the enemy, it more importantly frees you up as well.

MishSill said:

Amen because it is the miraculous work of the Holy Spirit moving in us.

Forgiveness doesn't just free the enemy, it more importantly frees you up as well.

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I can see that forgiveness has the greatest benefit to the one who is doing the forgiving. Plus, forgiveness is necessary in this world. What would it be like if nobody ever forgave?

nightflight said:

To love those who hate you and to whom you hate back; who can do this? I could never be a Christian; I'm too hateful.

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Christ will give you a new heart, new desires. He will take out your stony heart and give you a heart of flesh. He will forgive YOU. If Christ forgives YOU, You will want to forgive others. He who is forgiven much will love much.

nightflight said:

To love those who hate you and to whom you hate back; who can do this? I could never be a Christian; I'm too hateful.

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well hate is a natural human emotion that is no good to deny as it will seep out one way or another but to get to the source of it you gotta dig deep inside yourself...maybe its just the person has terrible tendencies, or maybe behaviors that have hurt you in younger years, maybe even as ive been noticing in more recent days qualities in yourself that you may have a hard time dealing with or keeping in control and seeing these qualities in another sets you off. whatever the cause just understand people are as lost or as confused as you are and really cannot see themselves as for some reason the hardest thing to see is ourselves....and if you want to know a secret that most people here will deny..god has a lot of hate himself...murderous hate to be exact

Cursed be he who does the Lords work remissly, cursed he who holds back his sword from blood. (Jeremiah 48:10 NAB)

I will make Mount Seir utterly desolate, killing off all who try to escape and any who return. I will fill your mountains with the dead. Your hills, your valleys, and your streams will be filled with people slaughtered by the sword. I will make you desolate forever. Your cities will never be rebuilt. Then you will know that I am the LORD. (Ezekiel 35:7-9 NLT)

You Ethiopians will also be slaughtered by my sword," says the LORD. And the LORD will strike the lands of the north with his fist. He will destroy Assyria and make its great capital, Nineveh, a desolate wasteland, parched like a desert. The city that once was so proud will become a pasture for sheep and cattle. All sorts of wild animals will settle there. Owls of many kinds will live among the ruins of its palaces, hooting from the gaping windows. Rubble will block all the doorways, and the cedar paneling will lie open to the wind and weather. This is the fate of that boisterous city, once so secure. "In all the world there is no city as great as I," it boasted. But now, look how it has become an utter ruin, a place where animals live! Everyone passing that way will laugh in derision or shake a defiant fist. (Zephaniah 2:12-15 NLT)


now how can he be so angry with us when he created us? it really seems like he hates his creations no?

nightflight said:

To love those who hate you and to whom you hate back; who can do this? I could never be a Christian; I'm too hateful.

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also dont forget that you can most certaintley better yourself. dont be dicouraged as this takes time and dedication and please do not slip into evil acts or deeds as it will only make you feel worse because you know they are not right and no one not even god has the right do them and dont be what you hate.

illuminatorofevil said:

well hate is a natural human emotion that is no good to deny as it will seep out one way or another but to get to the source of it you gotta dig deep inside yourself...maybe its just the person has terrible tendencies, or maybe behaviors that have hurt you in younger years, maybe even as ive been noticing in more recent days qualities in yourself that you may have a hard time dealing with or keeping in control and seeing these qualities in another sets you off. whatever the cause just understand people are as lost or as confused as you are and really cannot see themselves as for some reason the hardest thing to see is ourselves....and if you want to know a secret that most people here will deny..god has a lot of hate himself...murderous hate to be exact

Cursed be he who does the Lords work remissly, cursed he who holds back his sword from blood. (Jeremiah 48:10 NAB)

I will make Mount Seir utterly desolate, killing off all who try to escape and any who return. I will fill your mountains with the dead. Your hills, your valleys, and your streams will be filled with people slaughtered by the sword. I will make you desolate forever. Your cities will never be rebuilt. Then you will know that I am the LORD. (Ezekiel 35:7-9 NLT)

You Ethiopians will also be slaughtered by my sword," says the LORD. And the LORD will strike the lands of the north with his fist. He will destroy Assyria and make its great capital, Nineveh, a desolate wasteland, parched like a desert. The city that once was so proud will become a pasture for sheep and cattle. All sorts of wild animals will settle there. Owls of many kinds will live among the ruins of its palaces, hooting from the gaping windows. Rubble will block all the doorways, and the cedar paneling will lie open to the wind and weather. This is the fate of that boisterous city, once so secure. "In all the world there is no city as great as I," it boasted. But now, look how it has become an utter ruin, a place where animals live! Everyone passing that way will laugh in derision or shake a defiant fist. (Zephaniah 2:12-15 NLT)


now how can he be so angry with us when he created us? it really seems like he hates his creations no?

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No He doesn't... a Holy God is a just God or else He wouldn't be Holy.

MishSill said:

No He doesn't... a Holy God is a just God or else He wouldn't be Holy.

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Can you explain what is holy or just about what he has done or said here? this does not even scratch the surface of the things he has done to us humans

nightflight said:

To love those who hate you and to whom you hate back; who can do this? I could never be a Christian; I'm too hateful.

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rotf..
Jesus loved his enemies . he is our example. what he didn't do is get kissy face with them.
that is a very fallen human idea of LOVE... He loved REAL something more than words and just smillie faces..
I don't think it is possible to have this conversation until everyone at the table agrees with what it really costs to sin and it cost be a sinner and what it costs to die to overcome that sin. Because understanding those things is the only definitions of love. It is not smilie faces and or creating excuses for people sins . that is not Love. the Fathers love and Jesus's Love = Agape and has nothing to do with anything the world and worldly would call 'love' .

now a hotel room to a homeless drunk.

some others might say that guy was loving who gives one of them that gift . and no one would say that the guy didn't have to buy him a bottle to love him either .
but Now homeless drunk would want that bottle and not appreciate the room or a meal as much as a bottle. and no one would or would have to get kissy face with the homeless drunk to "LOVE HIM. Something way more practical would be in order like a rehab facility.

MishSill said:

No He doesn't...

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Do you mean He doesn't hate some people? Scripture states that He does.

nightflight said:

To love those who hate you and to whom you hate back; who can do this? I could never be a Christian; I'm too hateful.

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Love isn't an emotion, thankfully. It is simply an action. Treat your enemies with kindness regardless of how you feel about them. It heaps hot coals on their heads.