Gay and scared,please dont judge

Find another place where they can help you and pray for you and are accepting. I only know Michael Brown and Dennis Jernigan. In my church in Holland the pastor just keeps praying for you and helps you when you have that.

Messy said:

Find another place where they can help you and pray for you and are accepting. I only know Michael Brown and Dennis Jernigan. In my church in Holland the pastor just keeps praying for you and helps you when you have that.

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If you listen to what she's saying, she never actually says she stopped being attracted to women, just stopped identifying as a lesbian. This is a pretty similar pattern in a lot of these "former gay" stories, they never claim the attraction stopped, they just no longer identified as gay or lesbian. This may not sound like a big deal, but there's a massive difference. Anyone can choose to reject or accept a label, but that doesn't change what causes them to be put in that label. If I stopped calling myself Native American and stopped being apart of the culture entirely, it doesn't change the fact I'm 50% Lakota. I'll also add that it's actually a fairly common thing among Christians who are technically LGBT do not identify as such because of the stigma that can be attached to that community in the church. The only thing I'll point out about her story is that she claims she was bisexual, so she was on some several attracted to men to begin with and never really a lesbian, but if I had to guess just dated women.

I'm going to stick my neck out here a little......

I am sorry that you have such conflict in your life, it can't be easy. Let me ask you though, do you feel that you could live your life without love / a relationship with a man? Do you think you could develop a deeper relationship with a woman that would be just as satisfying for you? Do you even want to do that?

If you didn't believe in God, what would you do? If you lived somewhere more accepting to a Gay life-style what would you do? More importantly, in your heart of hearts, what do you believe God is saying to you? (By that I don't mean the outside voices of the church, but the voice of God in your heart?)

I think the other thing to consider is that there will be 'someone' you can talk to, someone who can give you better advice than strangers on a forum. I know that you will find it hard and you'll be scared to death, but please talk to someone. Don't allow yourself to spend more years going around in circles. Being brave doesn't mean not being scared. It means acting / speaking to someone, even though you are absolutely scared to death.

I think there are some people who are not safe to talk to.

First of all don't be ashamed regarding being gay.
I don't believe it is a sin unless you actually act on it.

You may have sexual attraction towards guys. That in itself is not a sin, but if you go and openly be with a man, then that would be a sin.

I am a heterosexual male. I have urges to go and sleep with as many women as possible.
It is sin only when I think about lustfully or commit these acts and urges that come naturally.

Similarly, you, by having these sexual attractions to males - are not sinning per se, but rather you would be if you act on them.

Hope that helps.

fromtheAsh said:

If you listen to what she's saying, she never actually says she stopped being attracted to women, just stopped identifying as a lesbian. This is a pretty similar pattern in a lot of these "former gay" stories, they never claim the attraction stopped, they just no longer identified as gay or lesbian. This may not sound like a big deal, but there's a massive difference. Anyone can choose to reject or accept a label, but that doesn't change what causes them to be put in that label. If I stopped calling myself Native American and stopped being apart of the culture entirely, it doesn't change the fact I'm 50% Lakota. I'll also add that it's actually a fairly common thing among Christians who are technically LGBT do not identify as such because of the stigma that can be attached to that community in the church. The only thing I'll point out about her story is that she claims she was bisexual, so she was on some several attracted to men to begin with and never really a lesbian, but if I had to guess just dated women.

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I agree with what Ashley said. Anti-gay churches make a big deal of people who "quit being gay" or "renounced homosexuality," but I think in most cases, these people either A) decided to live a celibate lifestyle or B) were still occasionally attracted to the opposite gender, and met a person of the opposite gender who they happened to like.

There are some gay people who are ONLY attracted to their own gender, but not always. For example, a number of the lesbians I know have said that they're 95% attracted to women... that they occasionally like guys, but mainly like girls. So, there's a chance that one or two of them may meet guys they really like and wind up in heterosexual unions. It doesn't mean they quit liking their own gender and were "cured of being gay," though.

Believe it or not, I was taught in my church that God reigned fire and brimstone on Sodom and Gomorrah because they were gays and lesbians and GOD considered it a sin. The men of that place wanted to have sex with male angels (homosexuality) and the angels supernaturally blinded them for it...took away their sight for a period of time. (Was that a form of punishment?) I have always been taught that anything other than heterosexuality was wrong and a sin...and that gays and lesbians thinking that they were "just born that way" is a testament to their fallen sin nature: It is their sin nature that makes them that way, not their genetics. No one was "born that way."

The Bible teaches that we are all born with a sin nature and are in need of GOD'S salvation to deliver us from that nature. This means that we ALL need to change inside. So don't go out there and think that you are already perfect because you are not.

Having an interest in members of the same gender is just further evidence that we all have a corrupt, fallen sin nature and are victims of it. I sin. You sin. We all have, and were born in, sin and corruption. We have sinful desires, attitudes, and thoughts in our minds that cause us to believe in strange ways. We die because we sin. The Scriptures say that "death passed unto all men for all have sinned." Every single one of us needs Jesus Christ to deliver us from our sinful nature and translate us into his divine and perfect nature.

If we all had Jesus' nature we would be immortal and never die.

The Scriptures seem to indicate that the angels were not homosexual like the men were. I think homosexuality is only a human thing as is not a divine thing. The Scriptures say that angels do not marry like we do. I think that marriage is just a human thing. I even wonder if GOD would marry someone if He had a choice.

Also the general sin of Sodom and Gomorrah was very great so GOD judged them by wiping them out.

Someone else is going to have to help this person. I am not experienced in this area.

HavenoUsename said:

hey guys, I am putting this here, cause i am scared.
I am scared because I am gay and the only reason i brave enough to say this, is because I am hiding behind a username

I am scared because since long for ten years, I know thats what I am,
I have crush on my high school bros,
I have crush on my cell groupmate
I have crush on my best friend

I am sad, cause I pray and pray and somehow I keep coming back to the same cycle.
Now I have a great group of friends, and there's a girl that I kinda of crush on
but I still have crush on some guys and this appeal more to me.

I dont want to be grow up at age of 40 without a family of my own
I dont want to grow up, marry a lady, and turn out that I dont love her in the way I should as a man who love a lady.

What shall i do? There is no breakthrough and there is no way I can say it to anyone. The place I live in have no much acceptance of gay and noone in my church knows that this is my life.....

I am gay. and I am scared. help.

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I have felt kind of like you at your age, minus the fear because I knew no one could force me to commit homosexual acts.

I believe that you may be hindering yourself by referring to yourself as "gay". You seem to be implying that is part of who you are intrinsically and that you can never change - which is not true if you know what the Bible says.

You cannot "pray the gay away". Show me in scripture where it says that will work (in and of itself), because I don't. Not to say that you should not pray, because you definitely should. But I do not believe you should expect the act of praying to do all the work for you. I would ask the Lord to show you where these feelings are originating from.

I will also say that some of your feelings are probably legitimate and OK. Obviously ruminating on improper sexual thoughts is not good, but some of the underlying feelings I had in dealing with this were not evil in and of themselves.

Besides that, here is some practical advice I can give that helped me:

• Do not hold unforgiveness against anyone (if you don't understand why, Read the Word or ask me and I can refer you to specific scripture)
• Do not beat yourself over having feelings - stop yourself from ruminating on sexual thoughts of any kind. What starts as thoughts can end up as action. Take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.
• Find good (straight) male friends / mentors to develop bonds with. I know this is easier said than done, but it can be very effective in keeping away those kind of thoughts you deal with.
  
• Do NOT fantasize or otherwise ruminate on sin. Do not even consider it an option for one second. When you ruminate on sinful sexual thoughts, it is as if you are doing the action already and you are inviting homosexuality into your mind.
  
• I strongly advise against making close, exclusive friendships with anyone else dealing with this issue, as it creates the perfect storm for you to do something wrong.
  
• I also advise against having a close, female "best friend" that you share all your thoughts and feelings with. In my experience, it only makes things worse in terms of dealing with this issue - like adding fuel to the fire. Not to say you can't have female friends at all.
• Reckon yourself as dead to sin and alive to God through Christ Jesus (Romans 6:11). In other words, don't label yourself in terms of sin. In Christ you are as forgiven and CLEAN and as any other believer. In Christ we are justified of sin, meaning it is just as if I'd never sinned.
  
• Use wisdom in who you share this with, as many people are very ignorant about this subject and may make insensitive comments about it (even if they are trying to help you)

If you want to talk more about it, I am willing to hear any of your comments, questions, or concerns. Know that this is issue is not who you are as a person in Christ.

well. long story short, I can relate with what you say. Right now, I've developed a good friendship with male, and they satisfy my deep need for relationship, and in time I believe that God will find a way to satisfy what else I need in my life. I am a believer and I choose not to participate in the lifestyle. What I found is that I've lacked in my life was a deep non sexual relationship with males. So I've found some good friends, and they indirectly helped me find satisfaction and contentment.

As to my finding a woman to start a family, well, I guess what I would do in my situation is leave it in God's hand for healing and guidance. For you, just take your time, develop a deep relationship with close friends, eventually you will find that they will satisfy what you need, and time will tell.

P

HavenoUsename said:

hey guys, I am putting this here, cause i am scared.
I am scared because I am gay and the only reason i brave enough to say this, is because I am hiding behind a username

I am scared because since long for ten years, I know thats what I am,
I have crush on my high school bros,
I have crush on my cell groupmate
I have crush on my best friend

I am sad, cause I pray and pray and somehow I keep coming back to the same cycle.
Now I have a great group of friends, and there's a girl that I kinda of crush on
but I still have crush on some guys and this appeal more to me.

I dont want to be grow up at age of 40 without a family of my own
I dont want to grow up, marry a lady, and turn out that I dont love her in the way I should as a man who love a lady.

What shall i do? There is no breakthrough and there is no way I can say it to anyone. The place I live in have no much acceptance of gay and noone in my church knows that this is my life.....

I am gay. and I am scared. help.

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Unless God wants to explain why homosexuality is wrong you will ever be trapped by a lack of knowing. If you don't know why homosexuality is wrong you are powerless to stop being homosexual.

HavenoUsename said:

I am scared because since long for ten years, I know thats what I am,

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Who told you that this is 'who you are'?

We often make our struggles our identity, but why? None of us are our struggles. Sin is how we are but it is not who we are. Homosexuality might be how you are but it is not who you are. Our contemporary philosophy today is always trying to make as if your struggles define your identity. Interestingly, it doesn't take the same angle when it comes to other disabilities.

You are valued by God because he made you something far more than your struggles, and has come to save you to the uttermost (Hebrews 7:5). Having your attractions is all part of our fallen world, as is any other struggle (alcoholism, incessant lying, avarice etc.). Like every other sinful inclination, however, keep trusting God to sanctify you completely (1 Thessalonians 5:23) and know that he loves you not because you are perfect but because he genuinely loves you, and he wants to have you rely on him and him alone for the rest of your life, trusting him that he will, in fact, change your heart.

HavenoUsename said:

hey guys, I am putting this here, cause i am scared.
I am scared because I am gay and the only reason i brave enough to say this, is because I am hiding behind a username

I am scared because since long for ten years, I know thats what I am,
I have crush on my high school bros,
I have crush on my cell groupmate
I have crush on my best friend

I am sad, cause I pray and pray and somehow I keep coming back to the same cycle.
Now I have a great group of friends, and there's a girl that I kinda of crush on
but I still have crush on some guys and this appeal more to me.

I dont want to be grow up at age of 40 without a family of my own
I dont want to grow up, marry a lady, and turn out that I dont love her in the way I should as a man who love a lady.

What shall i do? There is no breakthrough and there is no way I can say it to anyone. The place I live in have no much acceptance of gay and noone in my church knows that this is my life.....

I am gay. and I am scared. help.

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Just replying again, I just wanted to tell you bro. I've had quite a few bisexual relationships in my life and it pretty much stops being scary after a while.

HavenoUsename said:

hey guys, I am putting this here, cause i am scared.
I am scared because I am gay and the only reason i brave enough to say this, is because I am hiding behind a username

I am scared because since long for ten years, I know thats what I am,
I have crush on my high school bros,
I have crush on my cell groupmate
I have crush on my best friend

I am sad, cause I pray and pray and somehow I keep coming back to the same cycle.
Now I have a great group of friends, and there's a girl that I kinda of crush on
but I still have crush on some guys and this appeal more to me.

I dont want to be grow up at age of 40 without a family of my own
I dont want to grow up, marry a lady, and turn out that I dont love her in the way I should as a man who love a lady.

What shall i do? There is no breakthrough and there is no way I can say it to anyone. The place I live in have no much acceptance of gay and noone in my church knows that this is my life.....

I am gay. and I am scared. help.

Click to expand...

Forgive me for saying so, but I do not believe anyone is "gay". It isn't a state of being. You perhaps have some lust problems that are not natural. That does not mean you would be a bad husband. Being a good husband requires commitment, faithfulness, and many other things. Love isn't all about sexual desire. If you are scared, just do not fulfill the desires of your flesh. Don't have sex with a guy. Period.