I have a friend that has suffered from depression for years. He suffered from severe depression and panic attacks. He's just turned 31 and always complaining that he's never had a girlfriend due to his depression. Would meet nice girls and then one bad mood...boom it's over. Lately he's gotten really really bad. Won't discuss how he's feeling with me or anyone in his family....yet I get these bizarre chat messages with words almost screaming like obscenities. He'll get really negative.
He's always been short with me, but I've always tried to be calm, patient, and kind...just listening. I'm not allowed to ask how he's doing or discuss treatment, medication whatever...but he sends me messages telling me he's not ok...that he can't eat, sleep, worries he'll never marry. Well...the caring individual that I am I asked if he was taking meds or switching them...they might make him feel a little better. He started screaming at me...literally. That I have offended him, that I obviously don't care, I'll never understand how he feels or what he's been through, that I was told never to ask how he is or to talk about it. That noone or nothing will ever be able to help him...NEVER!!! Yet, he's the one bringing it up all of the time.
I got very angry. I'd had enough of his junk. What does he want me to do? What can I do? Nothing....but I will not put up with his abusive behavior. He went on to call me horrible names, names that I've never in my life been called by anyone, that he hopes my marriage fails and that husband sees the real me and divorces me. huh?
I may not have the best marriage, but at least I'm open about it...talk about it. I don't shove it under the carpet pretending it doesn't exist. Constantly working through issues and trying to fix what is needed...sure it's not depression, but I still hurt.
Needless to say I gave him a few choice words and I'm sorry, but at the moment I hoped it hurt. He's mean and nasty and if he doesn't continuously seek help and stay on meds...he will never be married...and will be alone for the rest of his life.
He's scary when he's like that. SCARY!
I actually cried when it was over. Really cried. Partly because I care, really care about how he's doing, and also the names he called me and the things he said to me stung and hurt me so deeply.
Should I apologize or just let the friendship go and be done with him?
There is no talking to him...no reasoning with him. He's crazy. He needs major help, but won't get it. Honestly I want him out of my life, but I do worry about him.
I've prayed for him...I really have, but God seems to just sit there.
Why can't people who have this feel better? Why can't God take this away? It's awful, but at the same time I can't imagine anyone being married to him. She would feel deflated time and time again. I think he would hurt her emotionally and possibly physically.
I worry that one day suicide will be his only option.
Why has he just given up? He's a beautiful guy...could be a great husband and father possibly. I don't know.
I suffer depression and am on meds, but nothing like this so it is difficult for me to understand. I just can't do anything, ya know?
Thoughts?
He's always been short with me, but I've always tried to be calm, patient, and kind...just listening. I'm not allowed to ask how he's doing or discuss treatment, medication whatever...but he sends me messages telling me he's not ok...that he can't eat, sleep, worries he'll never marry. Well...the caring individual that I am I asked if he was taking meds or switching them...they might make him feel a little better. He started screaming at me...literally. That I have offended him, that I obviously don't care, I'll never understand how he feels or what he's been through, that I was told never to ask how he is or to talk about it. That noone or nothing will ever be able to help him...NEVER!!! Yet, he's the one bringing it up all of the time.
I got very angry. I'd had enough of his junk. What does he want me to do? What can I do? Nothing....but I will not put up with his abusive behavior. He went on to call me horrible names, names that I've never in my life been called by anyone, that he hopes my marriage fails and that husband sees the real me and divorces me. huh?
I may not have the best marriage, but at least I'm open about it...talk about it. I don't shove it under the carpet pretending it doesn't exist. Constantly working through issues and trying to fix what is needed...sure it's not depression, but I still hurt.
Needless to say I gave him a few choice words and I'm sorry, but at the moment I hoped it hurt. He's mean and nasty and if he doesn't continuously seek help and stay on meds...he will never be married...and will be alone for the rest of his life.
He's scary when he's like that. SCARY!
I actually cried when it was over. Really cried. Partly because I care, really care about how he's doing, and also the names he called me and the things he said to me stung and hurt me so deeply.
Should I apologize or just let the friendship go and be done with him?
There is no talking to him...no reasoning with him. He's crazy. He needs major help, but won't get it. Honestly I want him out of my life, but I do worry about him.
I've prayed for him...I really have, but God seems to just sit there.
Why can't people who have this feel better? Why can't God take this away? It's awful, but at the same time I can't imagine anyone being married to him. She would feel deflated time and time again. I think he would hurt her emotionally and possibly physically.
I worry that one day suicide will be his only option.
Why has he just given up? He's a beautiful guy...could be a great husband and father possibly. I don't know.
I suffer depression and am on meds, but nothing like this so it is difficult for me to understand. I just can't do anything, ya know?
Thoughts?
