This month in general has been horrible for me. Scratch that, this whole freakin year. I have social anxiety and was on Cipralex fo a few years but i did find it quite addictive so I eventually was able to get weaned off of it. Lately I've been craving it because of all of my anxiety that has come back to me recently. My long distance boyfriend of a year and a half broke up with me, literally was planning on marrying this guy ( we had met several times), my cat who I loved and adored for 4 years passed away horribly due to multiple organ failure. She was my bestfriend and was someone/thing I could always tell my feelings to and she would just always be there. Our foster cat who I fell in love with is being placed in an adoption centre on Thursday, and my Grandma just passed away on Friday. Tbh i feel like i have no support system anymore and srsly considering going back on high dosage meds as I feel like I've just reached my breaking point and I just don't want to feel anything.I don't knw what to do with my life, I have a phobia of death and am terrified of my parents eventually dying one day- Im just a mess. Prayers greatly appreciated for a stable and strong mind 
