fromtheAsh
That one girl from that one website.
Honestly, it sounds a bit creepy to me. I mean, you haven't really had any face-to-face interactions with her. Plus, Facebook? Really?
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Here's a hypothetical for you ladies
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I've known it to work...a friend of mine is now engaged to a woman who had a crush on him in high school and confessed 20 years later on Facebook.
This is also how so many online affairs are started...people from your past life come out of the corners and suddenly the idea of a love missed sounds more romantic than the normal daily struggles with your current situation. However, this is a side bar rant...and I have talked to a number of people from my past on facebook. I think it resolves some issues...like the guy I had a crush on in high school but although he liked me, he assumed I'd never accept if he asked me out...talking to him now made me very glad he was one of those ships that past by me in the night.
This is also how so many online affairs are started...people from your past life come out of the corners and suddenly the idea of a love missed sounds more romantic than the normal daily struggles with your current situation. However, this is a side bar rant...and I have talked to a number of people from my past on facebook. I think it resolves some issues...like the guy I had a crush on in high school but although he liked me, he assumed I'd never accept if he asked me out...talking to him now made me very glad he was one of those ships that past by me in the night.
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KitKatMatt
stupid bleeding heart feminist liberal
As long as there aren't any obvious red flags in the way they talk or bring up being interested, I wouldn't feel creeped out.
I'd ask if I could talk to them a little more online to get to know them a little better before meeting in public, though.
I don't remember people well at all, so honestly meeting someone 10 years later would be like meeting a complete stranger anyways.
I'd ask if I could talk to them a little more online to get to know them a little better before meeting in public, though.
I don't remember people well at all, so honestly meeting someone 10 years later would be like meeting a complete stranger anyways.
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- Oct 31, 2008
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Well I did it. I sent the message last night, but I think she's on vacation so it didn't get delivered until today. Hopefully this doesn't blow up in my face somehow... 
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I just said:
"Hey [name], is there any chance you would be interested in having coffee with me sometime? I understand if you don't want to, I just thought I'd ask."
Hopefully it doesn't come across self deprecating or anything like that.
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I say give it a shot, her saying no is the worst that can happen, and it has happened to every man myself included. It's not as big and as bad as your mind will make it out to be. Just think if she says yes you have a chance to get to know someone new in a new light that you may never have had the chance to do before!
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If this was not on Facebook (i.e. neither has accounts), what would be other avenues that can be used to contact and how would they be received? e.g. a written letter delivered via a mutual contact?
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Haven't seen each other in ten years? It's worth asking her out just for the nostalgia of it. You can talk about memoires from school, music you were both into in the early 2000's, and the things you used to get up to when you should have been doing school work.
I honestly wouldn't think so much about it. It's a chance to get to know someone who you didn't have much to do with the first time round. In fact, I would go for coffee/lunch with ANY of my old friends from school. (Didn't have any crushes though, if you can believe it!)
And don't worry too much if she doesn't feel the same way back. Just enjoy it for what it is. We miss out on SO much in life with our desire to be with that person, that we forget how awesome it is to have them as a friend.
So, yeah. Just do it.
I honestly wouldn't think so much about it. It's a chance to get to know someone who you didn't have much to do with the first time round. In fact, I would go for coffee/lunch with ANY of my old friends from school. (Didn't have any crushes though, if you can believe it!)
And don't worry too much if she doesn't feel the same way back. Just enjoy it for what it is. We miss out on SO much in life with our desire to be with that person, that we forget how awesome it is to have them as a friend.
So, yeah. Just do it.
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redblue22
You Are Special.
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Such wonderful responses and interaction here. Even had Darth chosen not to go, he would be left with much encouragement and understanding.
Compare how Zx has a same form of question in his thread. Darth makes a few visits of his own.
Girls, would you be able to accept a guy like me? Would I sound like a guy that you'd want to be wit
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Any man that can bounce back from a divorce at the age of 28, with a positive and productive attitude towards life, deserves my respect. It's about the worst thing anybody can go through, and to deal with it in the way Darth has, is commendable. I don't think I've heard him whine about it even once - so of course I'm going to respond to *this* thread in a positive manner. He doesn't need a kick up the ass, because he's already done that himself.
That's not to take anything away from zxcv - and we shouldn't respect him any less, but with the amount of threads he's posted, where he has portrayed himself in a very negative light, I felt as if a spot of tough love was in order. Self pity will not help anything - it'll only make it worse. Hence why most of us have tried to light a fire under him.
One of my best friends will always give me a verbal slap to the face, when she knows I'm being a muppet. She certainly won't feel sorry for me if I'm being self deprecating. She'll tell me - in not so many words, that I'm being an idiot. And that level of honesty is why we're friends.
So why mollycoddle people with what they want to hear, when they're being self destructive? You're surely just feeding into their pity? No?
That's not to take anything away from zxcv - and we shouldn't respect him any less, but with the amount of threads he's posted, where he has portrayed himself in a very negative light, I felt as if a spot of tough love was in order. Self pity will not help anything - it'll only make it worse. Hence why most of us have tried to light a fire under him.
One of my best friends will always give me a verbal slap to the face, when she knows I'm being a muppet. She certainly won't feel sorry for me if I'm being self deprecating. She'll tell me - in not so many words, that I'm being an idiot. And that level of honesty is why we're friends.
So why mollycoddle people with what they want to hear, when they're being self destructive? You're surely just feeding into their pity? No?
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I'm also Autistic, and have battled with suicidal depression myself in the past. I'm simply speaking from my own perspective on what works for me. It could work for him as well.
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Cearbhall
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I would be confused because he doesn't know me. We've only interacted once or twice in our lives, and our only connection is attending the same school a decade ago? Nope.
I wouldn't be against getting to know him if he's interested, but I would find it strange that he thinks he has a crush on the person I am today when he doesn't know me. Not possible.
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