I'm an asexual. Help me please.

Show love by showing love. Love is obvious.

I am personally a fan of Corinthians 13:4-8 as it speaks very clearly on my own views concerning love. Mind you, the King James Version, which is my preferred translation, speaks of charity rather than love, but know that these two words can be synonymous. I chose to use love instead of charity because I think it has a better ring to it.

I have heard many homosexuals mention that they were born that way. I cannot help but to disagree. As far as I am concerned, we are all born asexual because to say otherwise is to imply that children have a sexual preference when, in fact, they are totally unaware of their own or any sexuality.

So far as I am concerned, all forms of sexuality are a choice. Who we are attracted to may not be, but how we act on those desires most certainly is.

So if, as a Christian you view homosexuality as a sin, then my advice to you is that if a member of the LGBT community believes that your asexuality is somehow indicative of your support for them that you merely politely inform them that you actually do not support their lifestyle.

As for why (if) God made you asexual, I cannot answer and I dare say that not a soul on this forum can answer it for you for the Bible very clearly states that no Man can know the Mind of God nor His Will.

I hope I was able to be of some help or at least comfort to you. Best of luck in finding your answers.

Axolotl said:

Just to clear some things up, asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction. It does exist. I do not want a "cure." God has blessed me with asexuality and I am thankful to Him.

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Well, our Apostle Paul was a celibate. If God has chosen for you to be a celibate, then this is good > 1 Corinthians 7:7.

Also, my personal finding is that God's love will have you attracted only to the person you belong with, in marriage. "Therefore", the "sexual drive" which can have a man interested in more than one woman is not of God. We all were born in sin, with the ability to be driven/attracted to sources of pleasure > this is not the same as an attraction to a person with whom you desire to reproduce "godly offspring" > see Malachi 2:15.

Why did God make me asexual?

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If it is of God, it is called celibacy, I think.

Is it because I wouldn't be strong enough to resist sexual temptation?

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All of us are not perfect. We all need to get stronger and more real in love so we do not give in to temptation. So, even if you have a gift of celibacy, this does not mean you will not ever feel tempted.

And also, the asexual community has quite strong ties with the LGBT community.

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I have never heard of this, but I can see how certain gays, in their desperation for pleasure, would want you to feel connected with them, in case at some point you might go along with what they want to do with you, or so they can use you to support their political action stuff. But they have no rightful claim on anyone.

Plus, we must not discriminate against gays, by having a different standard for them than we have for ourselves > we all are commanded not to be involved in homosexual stuff; and it is discrimination to say they do not need forgiveness while we do. In fact, Jesus died for any and all people; so if we say gays do not need forgiveness for gay stuff, this is being anti-forgiveness, and it is discrimination against them becoming forgiven with us.

How do I show love to these people while making it clear that I have different values from them and still have a place to go when the erasure gets too much?

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You learn with Jesus >

"'Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.'" (Matthew 11:29)

Make sure, then, that you have trusted in Christ (Ephesians 1:12, 1 Corinthians 6:17) to reconcile you with God and forgive you. And do not let anyone trick you into thinking your sexual preference gives you your main identity. What is in your heart is what has the most to do with who you are, in the sight of God; so do not get distracted with what is going on, below the belt, which is not in your heart, to say the least.

Humans in sin are desperate for pleasure, trying to get satisfaction from nice feeling sensations. So, the real preference of many is not really "sexual", but they are preferring pleasure seeking, instead of seeking God for Himself. So, that stuff about someone having a sexual identity could be just a silly trick. They identify with pleasure, because they are not with Jesus giving us "rest for your souls."

So, in case by "erasure" you mean being "erased" by Jesus people who think you are weird or something, for being "asexual" . . . we in Jesus love you, and we consider celibacy to be legitimate. However, there are so-called Christians who make a big thing of what ones do with their sexual parts. And so, ones into marriage and who despise celibacy might look down on you, but these are not honoring Jesus, by doing so. So, have mercy on ones who look down on you, and become real in love which has us being compassionate with wrong people, knowing we, too, can be wrong >

"He can have compassion on those who are ignorant and going astray, since he himself is also subject to weakness." (Hebrews 5:2)

Axolotl said:

Just to clear some things up, asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction. It does exist. I do not want a "cure." God has blessed me with asexuality and I am thankful to Him.

But there are two things which I'm still struggling with.

Why did God make me asexual? Is it because I wouldn't be strong enough to resist sexual temptation?

And also, the asexual community has quite strong ties with the LGBT community. How do I show love to these people while making it clear that I have different values from them and still have a place to go when the erasure gets too much?

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If you are a believer, then the community you should associate yourself with is "believers". I would caution you not to find your identity in sexuality and thereby associating yourself with a group of people you should really have nothing to do with. Your family is the church, Christians.

on the one hand, besides the natural abstinence from sex(uality) so far there was also an asexuality that is a product of the activity and (the) influence of the system of (the) spiritual iniquity/lawlessness, on the other hand, there may be secondary delusions/confusions in that regard also coming from the kingdom of the spiritual iniquity/lawlessness, which means you have to be careful if you really want to be aware and keep balance in this regard

Blessings

Axolotl said:

Just to clear some things up, asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction. It does exist. I do not want a "cure." God has blessed me with asexuality and I am thankful to Him.

But there are two things which I'm still struggling with. did God make me asexual? Is it because I wouldn't be strong enough to resist sexual temptation?

And also, the asexual community has quite strong ties with the LGBT community. How do I show love to these people while making it clear that I have different values from them and still have a place to go when the erasure gets too much?

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I would too say that by showing that one can be very happy without a sexual life you might help them to emerge from their 'loneliness' .

,

JustHisKid said:

If you are a believer, then the community you should associate yourself with is "believers". I would caution you not to find your identity in sexuality and thereby associating yourself with a group of people you should really have nothing to do with. Your family is the church, Christians.

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I don't agree with you there, as we are supposed to reach out as Jesus did without getting contaminated .Only those strong in love can do that .

This person is best suited, because unlike many christians, they are not interested in sex .

fat wee robin said:

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I don't agree with you there, as we are supposed to reach out as Jesus did without getting contaminated .Only those strong in love can do that .

This person is best suited, because unlike many christians, they are not interested in sex .

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You completely missed the point of my post.

Axolotl said:

There is a difference between celibacy and asexuality in that celibacy is a choice to have no sex ever. Asexuality is just that I don't want sex but would still potentially compromise if I were married. I still desire deep romantic relationships I just don't feel that sex has to be part of that.

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In 1 Cor. 7, Paul speaks of varied statuses wrt marriage, slavery, and Jewishness or Gentileness for Christians in terms of "calling" (by God, cf. vv. 17-24) and "giftedness" (from God, v. 7) all with an overarching purpose of having "an undivided devotion to the Lord" (v. 35) whatever one's calling or gift. Of course callings wrt sex (singleness, marriage to Christian and non-Christian, divorce, betrothal) are the major topical concern of the section (cf. v. 1), and in these matters of choice do play their role as well (cf. vv. 36-38).

I suspect the term "asexuality" at least as it is conceived in modern terms is broader (or comes with some differing semantic baggage) than "celibacy," the latter of which (in my sense of the word as one whose mother tongue is English) carries religious overtones of giving oneself to God in a way unlike and in some sense above what married persons are able (per 1 Cor. 7). But the potential semantic overlap between asexuality and celibacy for the Christian seems intriguing.

And in any case again, undivided devotion to the Lord seems the main point in all "callings." And that can serve both as an exhortation and a comfort.

Axolotl said:

You have made sweeping generalizations and I don't think you have even tried to understand me. You call into question my relationship with God where you have no business doing so, even implying that I and the rest of my asexual Christian brothers and sisters are not Christians because of groups we are a part of and causes we support.

Approximately 20% of the asexual community are also Christian and all I was asking for was advice on reaching the other 80. Don't you dare call into question anybody's faith, especially not based solely on a handful of things that they've said.

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I didn't call into question your faith. I asked you if you have asked God what He would have you do because you seem far more concerned about sex than you do about serving Him. Clearly I will not be able to help you so I will excuse myself.

Axolotl said:

The whole thing with the gays is more about the political side of things. And I'm not saying they don't need forgiveness. I want to show them Christ's love but I'm just worried that I'll mess up my opportunity. I kind of see me position as a "sexual minority" placing me uniquely to talk to these people.

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The above and what I have seen of your responses on this thread suggest to me that in some ways you are ahead of the great majority of those who might read this thread (certainly ahead of me) though I can see how you would also be a minor minority in vulnerable positions, hence your reaching out here.

I don't think there are easy answers to much of what you must face, but various general thoughts come to mind--though you might have thought of the same already.

1) Be prepared for pain and find useful ways to cope. One need not be a [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] or seek for trouble, but Jesus promised "in this world you will suffer tribulation." Seeing such tribulation as following in the footsteps of Jesus helps a little where applicable (e.g., cf. Col. 1:24). So does Jesus' promise "but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world" (John 16:33)--meaning also that one's perspective ought to include that which comes after death and at the coming of Jesus again (a coping mechanism among other things). Remember that only some have ears to hear; focus more heavily on them.

Then there are life's troubles unrelated to identification with Jesus and the gospel (my care broke down, I'm sick, etc.), but that is too much of a digression.

2) Seek a small circle of Christians who share your burdens as you share in theirs. This is one of the purposes of the church (not an online forum, which may have its place, but face-to-face). In this sense, # 2 is a subset of # 1 although church functions are broader. Be a member of a gospel preaching church.

3) Be prepared, in part by reading widely (and deeply in the Bible) and seeking mentors. Not just mentors who may have a model of gospel ministry to and among homosexuals (have you tried Google searching different related terms for these?) but those who are well versed in the Bible, theology, history, and related science (I mean more than one person with varied areas of relative expertise). Granted the following is a little off-topic (the 26 June SCOTUS decision), but one of my NT mentors speaks briefly: here.

4) Cultivate Christian virtues. Humility and thankfulness. Boldness and self-control. Generosity and joy. Wisdom and the fear of God. Be a disciple of Jesus pointing to Jesus.

5) Write. Speak. Practice. Think ("renewing your mind" Rom. 12:1-2). If you are in it for the long haul, this is part of what it will take to do it right. Recite Bible verses and passages that help or that you need. Also be slower to speak than to listen.

6) Be patient and long-suffering, the former sometimes even with yourself. What if the fruit of your actions in some cases only begins to appear in a later generation, even if imperceptibly?

7) Pray and praise and confess your sins. Keep a journal of prayers. Pray at set times and spontaneously (Lord, help!). Practice praying. Remember what God has done in prayer--both in the Bible and in your own life. Use prayers from the Bible. Even the laments (e.g., of the Psalms). Sing the Psalter as unto the Lord. And here's a site for prayer training: http://www.seejesus.net/studies/praying-life/start-here .

I realize the above is not specific to your concern. That reflects my own deficiencies in the topic probably more than the general nature of the above quote to which I here attempt a response. And I have no doubt you have already practiced at least much of the above even if it may be helpful here to recall and recite them--or such is my hope. May God help us.

Axolotl said:

I'm not sure what your point is. Is it that I might just not want sex from birth but I might also have been put off by a bad experience because we live in a fallen world or I could just be scared and confused again because of the fallen world?

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the first "fruit" of the original sin that the first humans(eve and adam) committed was the fact that another consciousness had appeared in them which made them start being ashamed of the sex(uality) and begin considering it to be sinful which had consequently made them hide their sexuality and be(come) asexual, and the original sin was exactly the spiritual iniquity/lawlessness initially in the form of occultism/esotericism but mostly the thing that now is known as yoga of krishna and transcendental meditation, of course by saying that i do not mean there's no natural abstinence from sex (life) that is of God

another thing, some kind of doubt is seen, because you asked the question "why did God make me asexual" and then you expressed the assumption (with another question) about whether He did it because you would not be strong enough to resist sexual temptation, and this is (like) some kind of secondary delusion/confusion

the spiritual iniquity/lawlessness is the original sin, the very sin, and even the only, because it is the cause and the source of all other evils/iniquities/lawlessnesses, which appear to be/are (as it were) secondary phenomena of the sin

Blessings

fat wee robin said:

I'd rather not know about your personal habits ,and as far as I can see this person never mentioned any' habits' ; unless I am mistaken

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P

Axolotl said:

I'm not sure what your point is. Is it that I might just not want sex from birth but I might also have been put off by a bad experience because we live in a fallen world or I could just be scared and confused again because of the fallen world?



That wasn't for what you said, it was for another poster. There's another quote in there.

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I think that quotes got mixed up in this thread .
I do not understand To ? either .

JustHisKid said:

I didn't call into question your faith. I asked you if you have asked God what He would have you do because you seem far more concerned about sex than you do about serving Him. Clearly I will not be able to help you so I will excuse myself.

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On this I will agree with you ,and I know you are well intentioned .I no longer have any contact myself in any way with the 'gay' community, as since this marriage thing ,they think it is normal ,and can be really 'outre' .What I objected to was to only mix with christians ;I have friends and family who are not religious ,and some who are of other religions ,who are very good people . I think that the best evangelism is being a good example, and judgementalism is unkind, and unfruitful .

As an asexual myself, I can wholeheartedly understand where you're coming from.

Jesus Himself broke bread with tax collectors and other less-than-holy characters, without becoming one of them. We'll never have the self-control, discipline and love that He possessed, but we're to follow His example.

We do need to be careful about how we associate ourselves with - but if we don't share with non-believers, we're turning Christianity into an exclusive members-only club.

"Preach the gospel at all times, and if nessecary, use words."

The best way to share your faith with anyone, regardless of who they are, is to live it out. I'll openly admit I've failed at this occasionally, but hopefully I can make things right.

Axolotl said:

Just to clear some things up, asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction. It does exist. I do not want a "cure." God has blessed me with asexuality and I am thankful to Him.

But there are two things which I'm still struggling with.

Why did God make me asexual? Is it because I wouldn't be strong enough to resist sexual temptation?

And also, the asexual community has quite strong ties with the LGBT community. How do I show love to these people while making it clear that I have different values from them and still have a place to go when the erasure gets too much?

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I think that's very cool. I've respected priests very much for that reason!! It's a sacrifice! That's why I have always looked up to them, though I'm no longer a Catholic. But, you focus all ur life on G-d. How beautiful. What could be better really? Such an uncomplicated existance. I really do think G-d has blessed you. Although, well...this like is so carnal and earthly sounding and human sounding that it just lowers me, but I couldn't . and am glad I'm not like that. But! I guess ...if I was like that...I would be happy. But that is extremely awesome. And I definatly look up to ppl who do that for G-d. That's big. So awesome.