So up until recently I haven't been taking my walk with God seriously at all. I was a music ministers kid, then a youth pastors kid, and now a pastors kid. I knew how to work the system, say the right things and all that. So rewind to around 7 years ago and 13 year old me is baptized. Thing is I wasn't really saved and hadn't repented. In fact I was living in habitual sin, granted I still sort of am but at least now I feel guilty for it and beg for forgiveness..and I try not to. But point is then I wasn't saved, now I am. I went on to help out with AWANA and VBS and all that jazz, mostly games and skits but still I lived in sin. Thing is I realize now I pretty much lied to that whole church, and especially the pastor. You see everyone in my life barring my immediate family has no idea that I've decided to truly follow God, they think I've been saved this whole time. My parents believe in Once Saved= Always Saved so they argue that when I prayed the salvation prayer in AWANA when I was 6 is when I was saved. True I meant it just as much as any 6 year old really can mean it, but that doesn't change the fact that I lied to a whole congregation saying I was going to dedicate my life to the Lord and went on sinning. Not even my closest friends know I wasn't really a christian up until very recently. Heck my best friend doesn't even know my biggest struggle or that I've done sexual stuff. Seriously I was good at hiding my sin. I know I'll need to tell her one day and thats going to be a tough day..I should get back on topic though. Basically my thought is I should go back to that church and talk with the pastor there about this. Confess how I lied and all, and then see if he thinks any church discipline of sort(I dunno, maybe a public confession?) is necessary. And to personally apologize to him, since he would counsel me after school every now and then and I wasn't very honest with him. What do y'all think?
What should I do after decieving for so many years?
- Thread starter DisneyDude
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It's bad enough that you pulled it over on them all. But, to go back and let them know about, when they have no idea. Then that would be awful.
You came clean with the Lord, and that is all that matters. Don't make these people out to be the fools for being taken in by a kid. Leave them think exactly what they have always thought. Especially now that you have got a grip.
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If you sense God would have you confess your sins to anyone you sinned against, then obey him and trust him to handle the outcomes. I know when God saved me, he led me to confess to a number of people. One was not even a Christ-follower. At the very least it is a way to stop hiding and live authentically before people. (I , too, was able to hide sin pretty well and it took some work of the Holy Spirit to grow my authenticity.)
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Goodbook
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Repent. Which you already done. But also confess before others your Jesus Christ as your Lord and saviour. i think ppl be so happy that you do this, they wont worry bout what you did in the past. The angels rejoicing cos a sinner repents.
Those that know God prolly already knew you just pretending before anyway. Jesus blood washes away our sin. he was raised to life. You must be too.
Those that know God prolly already knew you just pretending before anyway. Jesus blood washes away our sin. he was raised to life. You must be too.
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Sexuality definitely requires rules or self-discipline, knowing that sexual fantasy is based on imagination where you have total control over anyone you choose as your imaginary partner, but mix fantasy with reality and you will discover disastrous first-time experiences that will hit you like an unexpected car crash, and if you do then rules, laws are there in our community to keep us in self-control and to prevent chaos and destruction of humanity which Satan wants everyone to achieve:.
As for masturbation, this is a secret personal self-satisfaction and that from an athiestic viewpoint, it may heal depression and anxiety temporarily, just like having a cup of coffee, but from a Christian viewpoint it is a sin and takes strict self-control or discipline to avoid it and I admit from my experience as I am still single, it is definitely a very powerful addiction and I have to marry to convert my masturbation addiction to romance, as romance is not a sin as long as the marriage is lawfully Christian.''*".
As for masturbation, this is a secret personal self-satisfaction and that from an athiestic viewpoint, it may heal depression and anxiety temporarily, just like having a cup of coffee, but from a Christian viewpoint it is a sin and takes strict self-control or discipline to avoid it and I admit from my experience as I am still single, it is definitely a very powerful addiction and I have to marry to convert my masturbation addiction to romance, as romance is not a sin as long as the marriage is lawfully Christian.''*".
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graceandpeace
Episcopalian
Since I don't know your church's denomination , it's difficult to assess whether the pastor would welcome a confession - private or otherwise. The Awana's, the OSAS doctrine, the delayed baptism all make me inclined to think your church is Baptist or something similar, in which case I don't know what the minister may suggest. Personally, I would be intensely uncomfortable with someone standing up in front of the church to say they're sorry for their sins.
In sacramental & liturgical traditions - like Anglicanism, Lutheranism, Roman Catholicism, etc - there are opportunities to make a confession in a way that is not demeaning. I attend the Episcopal Church, & every Sunday we corporately make a general confession of sin & ask for forgiveness. The priest then offers absolution, which basically means they pray & offer assurance that God forgives us. Private confession is also a possibility, though not required. Perhaps peace could be found in this way.
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Goodbook
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Repent and be baptised.
When I mean confession, I mean confess Jesus as your Lord and saviour. Can you do that right now on this forum?
With baptism, you need to ask an elder you trust who can baptise you now you believe. It doesnt necessarily need to be in the church you attended. Also ask God for the baptism of the holy spirit, as Jesus gave to all believers as His gift who will help keep you from sin.
Sometimes church going can distract us from actually going to Jesus himself. Start reading your Bible and acting on what God instructs.
When I mean confession, I mean confess Jesus as your Lord and saviour. Can you do that right now on this forum?
With baptism, you need to ask an elder you trust who can baptise you now you believe. It doesnt necessarily need to be in the church you attended. Also ask God for the baptism of the holy spirit, as Jesus gave to all believers as His gift who will help keep you from sin.
Sometimes church going can distract us from actually going to Jesus himself. Start reading your Bible and acting on what God instructs.
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Yeah...I just hate how many people I have hurt and all. I feel like everyday I realize a new person I need to reconcile with somedays. I feel like Earl from My Name Is Earl... I know I should trust God...but sometimes His plan just downright sucks from an earthly perspective. I just got to focus on the prize, that "Well done good and faithful servant".
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Yeah my sexuality has caused its fair share of problems. I still struggle to not give into lust and touch everyday...I fear I may not be able to solve this problem through marriage, regardless of what I've thought before and all. Because I don't find myself attracted to women I can't bring it upon myself to ask someone to enter into a relationship without lust for them. I mean I doubt I could even use lust for its intended use for marital sex because of this sin of mine...and I hate that I really do. I have had hopes before but I realize I can't do that to another human being. It sucks because I look at all that could've been, relationships and experiences and all...not to mention having a partner in life would make so many struggles easier. I wish I hadn't let this sin destroy me like it has...I try not to think about it too hard..I get awfully depressed at the thought of having no one in my life..No one to cuddle with or share life with and make memories with.. Point is I have no way to convert this lust into something God honoring..I wish I could though. Its going to be a hard 60 or so odd years:/
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Yes this church was baptist. I'm not saying I was going to be all "MAKE ME CONFESS FROM THE PULPIT" but I was going to apologize personally to the pastor for sinning against him and his church. If he thinks any church discipline is necessary then I will of course endure it. I sinned against him because I made him bear false witness to his congregation by having him confirm my faith to them. and that I lied to him all those years. I mean I figure he will forgive me but it still sucks that I did it.
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Well I do believe Jesus is the son of God, He is fully human and God at once. He was innocent, but took upon Gods wrath for human sin and rose through the power of God 3 days later, conquering sin and death. He is the Messiah and Saviour from sin and hell, literally a Godsend to the human race. I do intend to get baptized 'for real' once I get out of my parents church and find a new home church and all. I think my parents would find me getting rebaptized, thus announcing my failure in the first place to their church, a mortifying experience. I am even afraid to ask this pastor for forgiveness because his church is in the Baptist conference my parents have a lot of ties to. They know everyone who is anyone in it and my brother is going into minsitry too so those ties are important, if I confess to this pastor if it spreads they could be embarassed. there is a bunch that could go wrong and I guess I am afraid. I hate hiding everything from everyone but I also fear of upsetting my parents and all you know?
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graceandpeace
Episcopalian
Okay.
Well, if it would ease your conscience to speak to the pastor, then I think you should.
Trust in the promises of your baptism. You were marked as Christ's own & God extended His grace to you. Baptism is something God does, rather than something we do. (At least, this is the traditional & historical understanding in Christianity, so "re-baptism" is not possible).
So just trust that even then God extended His grace to you, & trust in His grace now that has brought you to faith. Grace that says you're forgiven.
May you find peace as you move forward & good luck to you.
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Messy
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You can ask someone else to pray for you and set you free, in a healing week maybe. There's a lot of people who have That. In our Church it's no problem. He just talks About How God set Him free from having to watch inappropriate content and then he Prays for people also at home and they get delivered from That demon of lust and healed.
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I can think of no Biblical grounds for formal church discipline. Jesus' instruction on Church discipline (Matthew 18) was only for the unrepentant. BTW, I find it hard to believe a mature Christian would find your position anything but a reason to glorify God for His grace shown to you, regardless of what you did in the past.
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Goodbook
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I go to a baptist church and from my experience if you repentant they not going to dicipline you for coming back to the Lord! The discipline is what He will do, not the church! Hes going to work in your life. There is nothing to be afraid of.
As for OSAS well, im not really sure what the doctrine is on that, as didnt grow up in baptist church as a child but the thing is at 6 of course you were saved but you went astray. That thing happens a lot, they call it the wilderness years. Jesus saves you, cos the word was planted in you but it didnt take. read the parable of the sower. It doesnt mean, all that time Jesus didnt love you. It just meant, YOU had not fully embraced HIM.
As for OSAS well, im not really sure what the doctrine is on that, as didnt grow up in baptist church as a child but the thing is at 6 of course you were saved but you went astray. That thing happens a lot, they call it the wilderness years. Jesus saves you, cos the word was planted in you but it didnt take. read the parable of the sower. It doesnt mean, all that time Jesus didnt love you. It just meant, YOU had not fully embraced HIM.
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Theres nothing wrong with being baptised as a believer. Maybe your church kinda rigid, but, God will see your obedience and reward you and, i think with the whole baptism thing, ..were you baptised at age 6? Its important to believe first. They just have to accept that you did not fully grasp the gospel at that age. I would talk to an elder bout it. Or actually ask God on what you must do next.
I think if you grow up in church sometimes they kinda zealous but dont really check on believers just assuming commitments to the Lord are the same as believing in what He did. People in church do know that ppl fail and WILL notice your heart change, so its not like they would feel embarassed you didnt really believe back then. They cant chuck out children for not believing if their parents take them to church when they are little. Your parents couldnt MAKE you believe. Its God working on you and you making that choice to believe.
I think if you grow up in church sometimes they kinda zealous but dont really check on believers just assuming commitments to the Lord are the same as believing in what He did. People in church do know that ppl fail and WILL notice your heart change, so its not like they would feel embarassed you didnt really believe back then. They cant chuck out children for not believing if their parents take them to church when they are little. Your parents couldnt MAKE you believe. Its God working on you and you making that choice to believe.
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My story is similar. But for me, I don't think I deceived anybody except for myself. I thought I was a Christian for years, only to find out that I wasn't. It's just been a sort of private journey, and like you it's involved dirty stuff. You're not alone, and even if it comes down to being single, God will make sure your life is fulfilling 
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Odetta
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I'm southern baptist. In our church, we would rejoice with you that you are finally saved. We would have no judgement, because probably about half of the people in the congregation have done the same thing. If you went and told your pastor about this, seriously it's not something he hasn't heard before.
I'd like to point out though, that salvation at 6 can be very real. Backslidden christians can get mired in sin, but they are still saved - see it's that baptist once saved, always saved coming out. If you talked with your pastor, he would probably ask you questions to see if he can get an idea if the salvation at 6 was genuine or not. He may or may not suggest that you be re-baptized. Other pastors don't think this way, but our current pastor suggests re-baptism in cases like this, because he calls baptism the public confession of inward faith. Since your confession is new or re-newed, perhaps being re-baptized is all the publicity you need.
I'd like to point out though, that salvation at 6 can be very real. Backslidden christians can get mired in sin, but they are still saved - see it's that baptist once saved, always saved coming out. If you talked with your pastor, he would probably ask you questions to see if he can get an idea if the salvation at 6 was genuine or not. He may or may not suggest that you be re-baptized. Other pastors don't think this way, but our current pastor suggests re-baptism in cases like this, because he calls baptism the public confession of inward faith. Since your confession is new or re-newed, perhaps being re-baptized is all the publicity you need.
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Yeah I try being content with a life of being single. I know how bad I truly deserve, I mean Jesus Himself said people like me would be better off drowned because I have lead fellow christians into sin in my own sin. Some were people I knew, others were people online, I remember one fellow pastors kid I talked to who was thinking of coming out to his family, and how I told him that he should and if his family can't accept them then screw him. I could have wrecked that kids connection to his family and God in my "support". I mean I shouldn't complain about any life I end up with...but I see all the missed life I could've had if I just hadn't fallen away...Gosh especially with this one friend of mine. I hate it because I could've had a happy life with her, could've had a God honoring relationship. Instead I deceived her and fed my sin in secret. Sorry thats a bit offtopic from this post but I kick myself every day for it. I know I'll need to confess to her one day and to be honest its going to be among the hardest things I've ever done. I mean I don't hope for a happy life after all I've done. I can't dare to expect any sort of help or anything positive for my life. So I don't hope for it you know? I'd love to hope that maybe someone would see all I've done and still want to be with me. I'd love to hope that I can live without this weight on my chest. I just can't allow myself to hope for that, I deserve to be alone and be punished for my actions. It hurts but I can't say that I don't expect it.My story is similar. But for me, I don't think I deceived anybody except for myself. I thought I was a Christian for years, only to find out that I wasn't. It's just been a sort of private journey, and like you it's involved dirty stuff. You're not alone, and even if it comes down to being single, God will make sure your life is fulfilling
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I certainly want to be rebaptized. Honestly it would be the best way to show everyone "Hey now I really am giving it up for Him". I mean if I wasn't why go through it all again and the embarrassment of confessing? I feel bad for lying to this pastor though, I mean he didn't deserve that. He trusted that I was giving him the right information to help me, but I deceived him. I'm afraid of hurting him as a person too to be honest. It hurts knowing I've done this to many people I have loved. I'm almost certain he will forgive me...but it doesn't change the fact this could hurt him. I hate how everyone I care about is going to be hurt...I mean I come from a christian family why did I never try to reach out to a single one? I hope they'll forgive me too. To be honest thats one reason I wish to be rebaptized. It makes it so much simpler to out the fact I lied all those years and show my recommital.
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