What happens in a divorce?

Goodbook · May 29, 2015

Probably cos they werent told the reason and they just ended up abandoning or negelecting them.

Goodbook · May 29, 2015

The mum is too proud to talk to the dad. They divorced cos of his adultery, but still, they need to parent their daughter. I dont want her relying on me to be the subsititute husband. I can only do so much, be a friend, and also i dont like it when friend who got into such dubious relationships in the first place dump all their troubles on me.

They have their side of the story, but often they make it worse than what it really is, and dont realise maybe they havent been loving to their partners as well.

Mister_Al · May 29, 2015

Goodbook said:
Yes David could have told Uriah he committed adultery, he could have divorced his wives, and Uriah could have divorced Bathesheba, and then they could have got married, and the son they had together would have lived. right?

I think that under the Law of Moses David and Bathsheba both would have been stoned to death for committing Adultery. Just something to think about.

Alan

Messy · May 29, 2015

Goodbook said:
Seems like ppl on here think divorce shouldnt affect children, but it does it really does. I have friends traumatised by divorce, and they decades older than me.

Yes that's awful. People should at least be friends for the kids but not even that is possible if one doesn't want that.
I heard stories of people talking bad about the other to kids, that's so bad. I just gave up on wanting to have a husband and follow my ex. If he moves and tells me one month before and puts the kids in another school which he may not, no problem, I follow, not going to court for that. We never have fights, we're just friends now.

Messy · May 29, 2015

double

Goodbook · May 29, 2015

What

Mister_Al said:
I think that under the Law of Moses David and Bathsheba both would have been stoned to death for committing Adultery. Just something to think about.

Alan

are some instances of divorce in the bible? Apart from God divorcing israel, and making her jealous with the gentiles? He could have stoned them to death, but Jesus died instead.

Goodbook · May 29, 2015

Im thinking with my other friend, who did get divorced but not cos of adultery, they were married 5 years having two daughters...anyway, they live close by each other and kinda talk to each other but it seems cant live together, cant live without each other situation.

Im thinking. Get over it! Just marry properly, for the childrens sake. I know thats mean of me, but honestly? It seems she just wants to be rebellious and get her own way all the time.
And he's prolly the same.
She did tell me though, their marriage came about cos she was having an affair with him..im not sure if he had been married previously or was just really promiscuous. But shes the only one he had children with.

Goodbook · May 29, 2015

I hate listening to her moon over other guys. I dont really hang out with her much anymore though, had a falling out. She thinks if he found someone and she found someone as well, theyll just all be happy.

Well. I dont know about that. She just has to get over the fact that hes so much older than her. And he has to stop treating her like a little child.

Goodbook · May 30, 2015

Well, cousin came for dinner yesterday and wasnt really led to ask about his wife. They not divorced, just separated so, if that works for them for the time being, I suppose its ok. She is still his wife. He said that he has his son every other weekend.

I do think though, as they unbelievers, money seems more important in their lives than their marriage and staying together, and thats sad, but i cant really do much about that. I know some people married but just live separately. Of course I see that as kinda selfish, but then Im a believer, and also think when you make a vow for richer and poorer you kinda mean it.

Goodbook · May 30, 2015

I think i may just email his wife to see how shes doing anyway, in case one day we want to visit them again.

James Is Back · May 31, 2015

Mod Hat On

Thread reopened and moved from Christian Advice to Christian Philosophy & Ethics.

Mod Hat Off

Goodbook · Jun 2, 2015

ok its moved here, if anyone wants to add please feel free to post your experience.
I was just thinking some people said divorce don't have anything to do with children, and that may be true, but they are badly affected by it. You can split up a house and stuff and money can be divided, but you can't divide children! Without bad effects!

I talk to people who's parents divorced and they always have issues, even when they adult. Often..it doesn't show up till much later how hurt they were. Also Bible says a house divided cannot stand. I know that may be referring to something else but its literally true in a marriage.

Messy · Jun 2, 2015

Goodbook said:
ok its moved here, if anyone wants to add please feel free to post your experience.
I was just thinking some people said divorce don't have anything to do with children, and that may be true, but they are badly affected by it. You can split up a house and stuff and money can be divided, but you can't divide children! Without bad effects!

I talk to people who's parents divorced and they always have issues, even when they adult. Often..it doesn't show up till much later how hurt they were. Also Bible says a house divided cannot stand. I know that may be referring to something else but its literally true in a marriage.

A woman who works with divorced people who want to co parent but have fights, told me that it was worse for kids to live with married fighting parents than if there's no negative talk, peace and coparenting. My parents stayed together, the fights and yelling affected me for years, same with my ex's parents, that was even far worse and one of the reasons he wanted to divorce so the kids wouldn't have to deal with parents fighting.

Goodbook · Jun 2, 2015

well, obviously things leading up to divorce are horrible, divorce is just the extreme measure for married couples who can't get on.
I think separation works, like if one is angry and they haven't forgiven each other before the sun goes down, then maybe there needs to be some time out. But they should make up and make the effort to get on with each other for peace in the household, and not have to go to an outside judge. If they both christians that is.

Very hard if one is and one isn't, or not listening.

Goodbook · Jun 2, 2015

staying together while fighting isn't what marriage is meant to be!!! Maybe some couples stay together just so they can fight each other?!
poor children, having to put up with that. They not showing love to each other. I've heard of some children being the ones calling for 'divorce' lol. I think they just want them to separate so they are not in each others faces, as fighting usually escalates if they don't take time out.

Goodbook · Jun 2, 2015

best solution..go for a walk, chill out.
When things get heated. That works in families. It works for me. But..having said that, I really did need to separate from my brothers ganging up on me when I lived with them. So that was a kind of divorce or separation cos we were meant to share a house. However I don't love them the way that husband and wife love vow to love each other till they die.

Goodbook · Jun 2, 2015

my brothers aren't believers so no point talking to them about what God wants and also, its not good to be unequally yoked. That goes for living with unbelievers.
I haven't figured out that yet though as my parents unbelievers too, but mum and dad are not so bad as living with my brothers.

What happens in a divorce?

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