sad and disappointed

May 22, 2015
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I have been married for five years this summer. I'm 27 next month and my husband is 29. We are staying with in laws right now my husband just yesterday got a part time job as security but for the past year and two months has been without a full time job. I'm working one full time job and a part time job. We have no kids, his last job he was there 8 months then quit. Before that 6 months at a dealership then quit the longest job he has had was 1 year and 6 months. Am I wrong for longing for security, stable, reliable. When we dated he wanted kids now he doesn't. I am seriously considering moving out on my own and separating. Im in WI right now Maybe even moving back to CA with my parents and getting my masters. Right now I don't have a husband it feels like I live with a teenager. I know no man is perfect but why cant he at least keep a job. Can someone help me?
 

heavenlysun29

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I have been married for five years this summer. I'm 27 next month and my husband is 29. We are staying with in laws right now my husband just yesterday got a part time job as security but for the past year and two months has been without a full time job. I'm working one full time job and a part time job. We have no kids, his last job he was there 8 months then quit. Before that 6 months at a dealership then quit the longest job he has had was 1 year and 6 months. Am I wrong for longing for security, stable, reliable. When we dated he wanted kids now he doesn't. I am seriously considering moving out on my own and separating. Im in WI right now Maybe even moving back to CA with my parents and getting my masters. Right now I don't have a husband it feels like I live with a teenager. I know no man is perfect but why cant he at least keep a job. Can someone help me?
I went through a hard time also, I can't go into all the details it would take to long. If I were you I would ..Just sign the no- contest papers and then file together. The sooner the better it could take 6 months to a year before the divorce is final.Then you can move on and have kids,and finish college. It sounds like he has problems going on .You shouldn't make him miserable. I would just give him everything. and do a no contest divorce it will not cost hardly anything at all,At least not as much as a regular divorce and. Since you don't own a house. I would just fly back to your parents and start over all fresh.and just what ever you can do to get him to sign the papers. then you can start your life over. give him the cars and the stuff instead of making him sell it all and split it, that way you won't cause problems in his life. You can start over in Cali.and be happy . And it won't come back to haunt you that you made him struggle more. California is so much nicer- great weather and better paying jobs. Stay with family and friends till you get back on your feet. Blessings my friend. "Heavenly Sunshine"
 
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heavenlysun29

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Unless you Love him just stay with him and pray for him and be a loving wife even when your husband is down then build him up.Even if your husband doesn't have a job. Sometimes they just need encouragement and then that might build him uP.then serve God together. go to church together and love your spouse no matter what. Do a Bible study together everyday. and pray for one another. encourage one another. Go for walks and ask him what he wants to do in life. Then be the encourager. Build up your husband as a wife and tell him why you married him and why he is so important to you. and cry out to God and ask him to help your marriage. and do not tell anyone bad things about your husband no matter what. Always say he the best and never put him down to your family and friends.and even your pastor should think he's the best. Always tell them how wonderful he is even when he isn't around. It will get back to him someday. and put him on a pedestal and don't speak one bad word of him and love Him unconditionally. even as you love Christ. Then you wait he will get a job.Then make sure you both get your hearts right with God make sure you have Christ in your life.and heart make sure you asked Christ to forgive you of your sins and change you. Even if you think you see a handsome guy, don't look his way only love your man. The man you married. Other wise if you can't do this and if there has been adultery in the marriage and it cannot be reconciled ,then you should both separate. I will pray thing will work out for the best. HeavenlySun Blessings
 
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annafullofgrace

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Have you laid all this out for your husband? Told him how you are feeling and what you are thinking of doing? If so, what is his response? Does he ever plan on holding down a job? Is he okay with not having stability? Is he aware that you are uncomfortable with this current dynamsics?
 
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Albion

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I have been married for five years this summer. I'm 27 next month and my husband is 29. We are staying with in laws right now my husband just yesterday got a part time job as security but for the past year and two months has been without a full time job. I'm working one full time job and a part time job. We have no kids, his last job he was there 8 months then quit. Before that 6 months at a dealership then quit the longest job he has had was 1 year and 6 months. Am I wrong for longing for security, stable, reliable. When we dated he wanted kids now he doesn't. I am seriously considering moving out on my own and separating. Im in WI right now Maybe even moving back to CA with my parents and getting my masters. Right now I don't have a husband it feels like I live with a teenager. I know no man is perfect but why cant he at least keep a job. Can someone help me?
It's hard to know what to say here because we don't know WHY he has changed jobs so often or been unemployed for so long. Were the jobs he quit really adequate in the longer run--in your opinion?
 
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May 22, 2015
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I had found out that he only has a sixth grade education after we were married so his lack of education causes him trouble at jobs. His spelling he says is terrible and he isn't good at handling stress or confrontation. We filed for a divorce on Wednesday I lost a lot of sleep and wasn't performing well I just got fired today from my job. I cried a lot today I just have my waitress part time job now. Even though I know this divorce is for the best the pain is still there I feel like I'm loosing a limb. I told him I wanted to go stay at my parents house while going to grad school to get a career cause its been hard for us he said if you want to live in another state we should just divorce. So it's happening now and it's so sad when will I ever feel better.
 
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