Question about information from previous relationships

Um..does he know that you had abusive exes?
What are the beliefs you share with him...are you both christians? Did he become a christian after he got married or before? Does he children from this marriage?

Ok, do you know if his ex was a christian?

Why would someone be on birth control a month BEFORE their wedding. I dont understand that point.
But some couples dont want to have children straight away. How long were they married for?

Ok just gonna ask something dont be offended but are you catholics by any chance?
Just that i know sometimes religion can confuse things and force couples to be married when they may not be ready for it and also has issues with birth control.

Hmm.. Does he have a steady job?

Sorry for all the personal questions...but the more we know the better people can advise.

Ok well seeing as you both catholic and i presume the ex is too maybe someone who is catholic on here can advise, as i know catholics have slighly different beliefs of marriage and divorce. (Im not catholic)

If you look in the bible it does say about marriage and divorce. I would encourage you to read and meditate on those scriptures in corinthians and also what Jesus says in the gospels.

Just want to add.

YOU ARE LOVED BY GOD EVEN IF YOU ARE SINGLE.

I dont know why he would tell you that. I mean go in to detail and all. It would seem to me he misses his ex. Or he is deperate to be laid. (Sorry to be so crude)
If i were in your shoes I would think twice about this. Are you looking at marriage with him...? Do you both want children together? Ask yourself.

I really don't think it's appropriate for him to be telling you about his sex life with his ex-wife. It has obviously made you uncomfortable.

As for being upset that he's not a virgin (I'm inferring this because your post reads this way), well you'll just have to get over that - he was married, after all, and husbands and wives have sex (generally). Unless you're really convicted that you want to marry a virgin, then you shouldn't be dating a divorced man in the first place because you're typically not going to get a virgin male that way.

But him telling you all that stuff about him and his ex-wife? Yeah, I'd be upset about that if I were in your shoes. Can you tell him to stop, how it bothers you? Maybe he's just clueless on interpersonal stuff.

Like constant dripping of water on one's forehead, this is method of the man who is the "water torturer" -- his loving care and kindness makes you feel comfortable, then he moves into the "water torture method" --like relating very intimate details of his previous marriage to you...
giving you the very date of their last "encounter"-- that's a very insensitive thing to do to a woman that he knows has been abused
in two previous relationships.

He doesn't have to raise his voice or use physical violence, his words
carry the same impact as a striking hand would. The intimate details
of his previous marriage and the way he related the details to you
are poison darts to the mind.

The "water torturer" will look for a woman who is vulnerable, the
more vulnerable she is the more he will be sympathetic towards
her and lull her into a false sense of security...the woman will feel
able to share her problems, since she feels he understands and is so
kind etc.

When he started in on the intimate details of his bedroom activities
with his ex-wife and you didn't halt the conversation, he took that as
you giving him permission to go into even more detail...like revealing
the last time they were intimate.

Dear lady,
I would strongly advise you to step back from the relationship ASAP and to seek counseling...you've been in too many abusive relationships and
the one you're in currently reeks as well, the guy is giving off too
many signs of being someone who is emotionally abusive.

I would also encourage you to connect with a Christian mentor, a mature
woman who is respected and has a stable faith walk with the Lord.
I would also encourage you to seek connections with prayer partners
who can come alongside you and help support you.

I didn't know you could annul a marriage after it has been consummated, especially after four years. Nonetheless, once God joined them in marriage they became one flesh and will always be so to God unless one of them dies.

Why did his marriage end?

Blessings,

Alan

I think BFine is right. (Post 16). I would add his statement of wanting to show you that you can be loved is at best talking foolishly and at worst manipulative.

I have been married 30+ years and I still would not say such a thing. My wife knows I love her, but ultimately it is her God that shows her that she is loved perfectly. My love for her is pretty shabby compared to His and I know myself too well to encourage her to count on me as the source of "knowing she can be loved."

Hope you understand and find this helpful.