just want some outside opinions

Vernieb said:

Thanks everyone for your input. It did help me realize that my motives are probably centered around feeling a little resentful that I feel like I have already been through so much physically and that in my mind this would be "fair", however you're correct. you can't force someone to do something they don't want to do.

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It's not his fault it isn't fair he didn't decide he was going to be a male. You said you're unwilling to have your tubes tide how can you want someone to go through what you're unwilling to.

There are so many other methods to not getting pregnant that don't involve snipping anything.

Is it possible that you are resentful of the pain and labor you have been through? Do you feel it's only right he endures some of this so it's fair?

To be mad at someone due to not being willing to do a procedure doesn't seem selfless and about the marriage.

Vernieb said:

I understand that, but his suggestion is that I get my tubes tied, which I don't want to do with my own body so......I dont' know. I don't want to have another child after this so maybe no more sex until something happens.

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All I hear is "I" "me" "mine" well that is perhaps a possibility but even the bible warns where that can lead. If you're happy that your husband may or may not look else where for sexual gratification due to a sexless marriage.

Not having sex isn't going to make him get the operation it's going to make him feel manipulated. That's not right to manipulate someone you love into altering their body to please you.

Maybe he is scared? Maybe he's not ready to be done having children?

If you are done, then you will want to decide what to do with your body.
If he does not want to modify his body, that is his choice.

You wouldn't want him pressuring you, so I think it is only fair that you do not pressure him.

Hubby and I have been married for almost 4 years and we have been practicing NFP with no issues. Just a thought...

I will say he needs to look at how hard tubes tied is on a woman's body. I don't think your being selfish. I at some point will get a vasectomy despite the fact it scares me pain wise (and the fact your awake). Marriage is 100%/100%. He needs to contribute and realize these two surgeries are at the opposite ends of the spectrum. A vasectomy is equal to putting a golfball into a hole 1 foot away. Tubial ligation is equal to putting a golf ball into a hole thats over a hill, a mile away and surrounded by sand and water all around. The risk to him is pretty much no risk. Your risk is WAY higher.

Though I will add denying him sex isn't the way to get him to do the surgery. It will only cause major issues in the marriage that may not be fixable. If all else fails go see a counselor. Or maybe some other form of protection can be used to stop pregnancy.

My ex didn't even consider it. I think he was scared or something, so I had it done. It was nothing and I felt nothing.